Dark Skies (Danny Schmidt)

"when the stars did guide us" by Ezra Berger, original oil on canvas*

Yesterday (August 26) was eleven months since Eric's death.  Crazy.  September will find me one big fat f*cking mess; it will almost be a relief to hit the one-year mark, the countdown to which has been excruciatingly painful, yet educational (if that makes a bit of sense).

Details soon of a potluck Breakfast Club get-together on a Sunday morning in early- to mid-October, in Ashley W. Hale Park, Pembroke Pines (our former neighborhood).  We are having a tree planted (and a plaque made) in E's memory, and would love to gather whatever friends and family are able to attend... 🌳

*As soon as I saw Ezra's painting posted online, I could envision it in my house.  I am a Leo (in my mind the one Dar Williams met in Mercy of the Fallen - ha!)  Crazy synchronicity... or meant-to-be?:

first verse: 

"I had asked you to steer me

To one cloud scattered night

I got lost and in my travels

I met Leo the Lion

last verse:

"There's the weak and the strong

And the many stars that guide us

We have some of them inside us"

Yes, I bought this stunning work of art... 🌃🦁

SONG:  Dark Skies by Danny Schmidt

BOOK:  Joy Rides through the Tunnel of Grief: A Memoir by Jessica Hendry Nelson (a birthday present from my friend Judi... 💖)

POEM:  changed by Ullie Kaye

yes I have changed. you may not recognize me anymore. the new me does not pretend to be anything other than who I really am. you may not recognize the kind of strength that courses through my veins. it is rich with suffering. and believing. and overcoming. I no longer crave the things that I thought made me beautiful. but rather, i am delicious now in spirit. in choosing tenderness. and deliberate breaths. and a longing to be to others what I always wished them to be to me. I no longer have eyes that search for approval. but my vision is on whatever brings grace and healing and growth. I am full of love. and empty of being consumed by things that really do not matter. don't get me wrong. I am still filled with a thousand, broken pieces - I've just rearranged them all.

QUOTE:  "We are travelers on a cosmic journey; stardust swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to Love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity." ~ Paulo Coelho

Wings of No Restraint (Danny Schmidt)

Maybe some of you recall the original owl visitation story a week or so after Eric's death.  There have been many more since I last posted, such that my words at Eric's Celebration of Life strengthened my desire for a tattoo.

"So far, he's given us signs of rainbows... and an owl appeared to me that I am sure was a visitation.  And, even though I've declared a moratorium on tattoos ("seven is the number", sings Dave Carter), if I hear Eric's voice whispering in my ear that it might be time for more ink, one of you will be getting a call to accompany me."

Last week, he whispered:  "It's time."  

Lovely backstory:  in September 2013, Eric decided to get a tattoo (not his first) of an octopus attempting to pull a ship underwater which, to me, represented his life-long struggles with anxiety (I am still trying to find the finished product, but here is the initial line work).  Look at that gorgeous detail, even in first draft form:

I wanted a tattoo for my 60th birthday (10 years ago), and Eric recommended his guy, Adam Forero... who immortalized our family on my back with a compass tattoo I designed; Sarah came with me, and got a beautiful flowers/dragonfly/butterfly on her lower back/left hip.  We had such a good time, laughing and chatting; Adam told us that one day he would have his own shop, 4 Arrows (sparked by his surname).  Sarah was a bit nervous so she asked Adam to put on Dave Matthews Band (her favorite music group) and, since it was late and we were the only ones there, he obliged (straying from the heavy metal that had been playing earlier - ha!).

Back to present day:  over the last few months, I had narrowed my new tattoo down to three ideas... and of course it only made sense for Adam to do it; I went in search, and he does indeed have his own shop now (six years!):  4 Arrows Art.  

I sent an e-mail before we went out of town last weekend for my niece Julia's wedding; he replied the Monday after, we continued the conversation, I sent him my idea, and we made a Wednesday a.m. appointment.  When I showed up, not only had he sketched it up, but he had found and researched the artist:  Amanda Clark.  So. Many. Owls.  Just one more validation I was in the right place... 💥

Also, Dave Matthews jam band music was on the PA.  Double-bam... 💥💥

And we hugged and we talked and we got down to business.  And he showed me his own owl tattoo; and he brought me water in an owl glass (his sister works at Disney).

Whatever might have been a consultation morphed into a full-fledged session, as I climbed into the chair, sitting comfortably cross-legged with my back supported, closed my eyes and settled into Zen mode while still carrying on a non-stop, in-depth conversation about anything and everything.  What a nice as well as talented young man!  Oh, and did I say gentle touch?  I was in the chair almost three hours, and barely felt a thing... 😌

And when we were finished, I gave Adam a pouch of E's ashes... 💜

Wednesday's experience meant so much to me on so many levels:  to see Adam again, 10 years later... to realize his 4 Arrows dream came true... to have a full-circle moment for/with Eric; I know Adam will take him on many adventures!

I already feel more peaceful, comforted, and protected with E on my left shoulder, next to my heart; I expected to cry, and was pleasantly surprised that I didn't.  The time was right, we made it happen, and I am beyond delighted with my new ink... 💘

[edited to add:  I realized, days later, that Wednesday 6/26/24 (when I got the tattoo), was 9 months to the day of Eric's death... 💞)

SONG:  Wings of No Restraint by Danny Schmidt

BOOK:  The Woman With An Owl Tattoo by Anne Walsh Donnelly, Isabelle Kenyon (Editor), Sally Mullaney (Illustrator)

POEM:  Beneath the Sweater and the Skin by Jeannette Encinias

How many years of beauty do I have left?

she asks me.

How many more do you want?

Here. Here is 34. Here is 50.

When you are 80 years old

and your beauty rises in ways

your cells cannot even imagine now

and your wild bones grow luminous and

ripe, having carried the weight

of a passionate life.

When your hair is aflame

with winter

and you have decades of

learning and leaving and loving

sewn into

the corners of your eyes

and your children come home

to find their own history

in your face.

When you know what it feels like to fail

ferociously

and have gained the

capacity

to rise and rise and rise again.

When you can make your tea

on a quiet and ridiculously lonely afternoon

and still have a song in your heart

Queen owl wings beating

beneath the cotton of your sweater.

Because your beauty began there

beneath the sweater and the skin,

remember?

This is when I will take you

into my arms and coo

YOU BRAVE AND GLORIOUS THING

you’ve come so far.

I see you.

Your beauty is breathtaking.

QUOTE:  “Rooted strongly yet bearing wings, Owl Woman signifies the wisdom that awakens through grounded seeking of the unknown. She presides over ritual, over ceremony. Grounded in solid practice, she opens her heart. With humility, she remains aware and is not afraid to look into the heart of darkness, knowing that she may find the lost parts of herself there. And when she does, she welcomes them back through the portal of her heart, digesting the experiences, retaining that which nourishes the soul, rejecting the rest.

Owl Woman aligns with the Moon, she understands what it means to cycle with the ebb and flow of the seasons. In ceremony, she smooths the way. On softened wings, she glides through the night, listening for the wisdom of the heart.” ~ Ona Christie Martin, Art of Awakening

Midsummer Hailstorm (Danny Schmidt)

Nothing fancy tonight, but I haven't posted in a while and felt the need to honor the last day of August.  Goodbye, Birth Month... 😃💖🌅

SONG:  Midsummer Hailstorm by Danny Schmidt

BOOK:  Earth Prayers: 365 Prayers, Poems, and Invocations from Around the World by Elizabeth Roberts, Elias Amidon

POEM(S):  Crickets by Sue Owen

Some summer nights you

can hear them getting all

worked up over this idea

of cheerfulness and song.

Deep in the grasses where

they hide, there is a need

to be heard in the darkness,

even if their voices are

so small they sound

like a door creaking on

its hinge, or the squeak

a drawer makes when

it opens up at last.

It seems as if the damp

air and dew are trying

to hold their song down

out of sheer gravity,

but neither dampness nor

darkness makes them stop.

In fact, the crickets like

to show off their song,

to let it lift up off

the earth the way that

all notes rise to the stars,

and float up through the

thick night, as if their

joy itself were the only light

we needed to follow.

before August goes by Maya Stein

Let me remember the vivid hue of the baseball green and the Little Leaguers

timid but determined at the plate. The thin film of pollen

dusting the pond late afternoon. The knocking of two woodpeckers

on the porch roof. The crunch of moviehouse popcorn. Leaves, fallen

after a thundershower, and the carpet they made of the driveway.

The view from Mt. Ida and Sugarloaf and Holyoke. Rainbow Chicklets.

Slices of tomato flecked with sea salt and ground pepper. The smells of hay

and mint and barbecue. How the light changes, incremental, until the crickets

come out. The loose threads of cutoff shorts. Lemonade stands. An ice cream drip.

And time trickling out, not a threat or cautionary tale but permission slip.

QUOTE:  “When summer opens, I see how fast it matures, and fear it will be short; but after the heats of July and August, I am reconciled, like one who has had his swing, to the cool of autumn.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sky Picked Blue (Danny Schmidt)

For years I have donated to The Academy of American Poets, and what should show up in my mail yesterday but the poster (above) for this year's National Poetry Month (which I only just realized is the 25th Anniversary), with a quote from the amazing Joy Harjo (full poem below).  I actually taped it up on the wall in my kitchen to remind me that poetry feeds my soul!

Also in yesterday's mail was a gift from Mari; she has been raving about this debut novel (see below) since pre-publication (she bought an early copy from Book of the Month Club), and I cannot wait to crack the spine later today.  Thanks, little sis... 💝

NR:  Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person by Shonda Rhimes

SONG:  Sky Picked Blue by Danny Schmidt (the song is from this collaborative CD by Danny Schmidt and Carrie Elkin:  "For Keeps is a relational record. At its core is a group of songs, half written by me and half written by Carrie, that revolve around relationship. Not necessarily our relationship, but Relationship with a big R. As our personal lives have woven into our artistic lives, it seemed only appropriate that our first collaborative album explore the many dimensions of Relationship.")

BOOK:  The Final Revival of Opal & Nev by Dawnie Walton

POEM:  For Keeps by Joy Harjo

Sun makes the day new.

Tiny green plants emerge from earth.

Birds are singing the sky into place.

There is nowhere else I want to be but here.

I lean into the rhythm of your heart to see where it will take us.

We gallop into a warm, southern wind.

I link my legs to yours and we ride together,

Toward the ancient encampment of our relatives.

Where have you been? they ask.

And what has taken you so long?

That night after eating, singing, and dancing

We lay together under the stars.

We know ourselves to be part of mystery.

It is unspeakable.

It is everlasting.

It is for keeps.

QUOTE:  "I find ultimate delight when a story is matched by equally riveting language, but people read like they eat: Sometimes we want comfort, sometimes we want to work to crack something open. And so I know that the writing pivots I might dislike are someone else’s bonbons." ~ Elizabeth Acevedo in a NYT By the Book interview

Black & Blue (Danny Schmidt)

"If you are not outraged, you are not paying attention." (can't seem to find the original attribution.)


Pompano Beach Protests 'Keep This Energy Going':  More than a month since protests began following the death of George Floyd while a Minneapolis police officer kneeled on his neck, demonstrations continued all over South Florida.

Three Words. 70 Cases. The Tragic History of ‘I Can’t Breathe.’:  The deaths of Eric Garner in New York and George Floyd in Minnesota created national outrage over the use of deadly police restraints. There were many others you didn’t hear about.

Danny Schmidt does it again.  No surprise there... ❤

This time spent in quarantine has lent itself to recording and releasing songs in near realtime, as I'm writing them. I don't know if that has inspired me to write songs that are of a more timely and topical nature, or if these extraordinary times have inspired me to write about the here and now. But whichever, it is topical tunes that seem to be bubbling out. And I've got a new one for you entitled, Black & Blue.

It's a song that deals with the state of race in this country, the role of force in policing, and the spiritual cost of brutality. These issues have obviously been top of mind for a lot of us lately. The tensions underlying the relationship between law enforcement and the black community are deep and complex, and have a long dark history Unraveling ourselves from that history will take a long time. This song focuses on the will to do the work.

SONG:  Black & Blue by Danny Schmidt [from Danny:  Usually, when I make a lyric video, it's a bit of an after-thought. This time is different. I set the song to a backdrop of images from the protests and the public outcry, and I actually think the juxtaposition makes the experience of the song itself a stronger one. The photos themselves are so provocative and powerful, they actually made me quite emotional as I was cutting them together.]

BOOK:  We Can't Breathe: On Black Lives, White Lies, and the Art of Survival by Jabari Asim

POEM:  I Can’t Breathe by Pamela Sneed

I suppose I should place them under separate files
Both died from different circumstances kind of, one from HIV AIDS and possibly not having
taken his medicines
the other from COVID-19 coupled with
complications from an underlying HIV status
In each case their deaths may have been preventable if one had taken his meds and the
hospital thought to treat the other
instead of sending him home saying, He wasn’t sick enough
he died a few days later
They were both mountains of men
dark black beautiful gay men
both more than six feet tall fierce and way ahead of their time
One’s drag persona was Wonder Woman and the other started a black fashion magazine
He also liked poetry
They both knew each other from the same club scene we all grew up in
When I was working the door at a club one frequented
He would always say to me haven’t they figured out you’re a star yet
And years ago bartending with the other when I complained about certain people and
treatment he said sounds like it’s time for you to clean house
Both I know were proud of me the poet star stayed true to my roots
I guess what stands out to me is that they both were
gay black mountains of men
Cut down
Felled too early
And it makes me think the biggest and blackest are almost always more vulnerable
My white friend speculates why the doctors sent one home
If he had enough antibodies
Did they not know his HIV status
She approaches it rationally
removed from race as if there were any rationale for sending him home
Still she credits the doctors for thinking it through
But I speculate they saw a big black man before them
Maybe they couldn’t imagine him weak
Maybe because of his size color class they imagined him strong
said he’s okay
Which happened to me so many times
Once when I’d been hospitalized at the same time as a white girl
she had pig-tails
we had the same thing but I saw how tenderly they treated her
Or knowing so many times in the medical system I would never have been treated so terribly if I
had had a man with me
Or if I were white and entitled enough to sue
Both deaths could have been prevented both were almost first to fall in this season of death
But it reminds me of what I said after Eric Garner a large black man was strangled to death over
some cigarettes
Six cops took him down
His famous lines were I can’t breathe
so if we are always the threat
To whom or where do we turn for protection?

QUOTE:  "The horrific cases in Ferguson, in Staten Island with the death of Eric Garner, and all across the country serve as stark reminders that we must have a say in who polices us, and how that policing is done. We must, we must, let our voices be heard on Election Day." ~ Al Sharpton

Embroidery Stars (Carrie Elkin)

Well, the best part of Feel Good Friday (today!) is that the condo complex pools reopened this past Monday, and I enjoyed it thoroughly yesterday afternoon, from 5:00 to 7:30 p.m., swimming/exercising in the water, sunning, reading.  I was the only one down there for the first hour, then my husband joined me, then another couple came, and sat at the opposite end of the patio. It had been a month, and I will never take the privilege for granted again.  Delightful!  Limitations (completely understood) are:

Pool decks and pools are to be used only by Hollybrook residents. The number of people allowed in the pool at one time must be 50 percent of normal capacity, which comes to 12 residents allowed on the pool deck at any time; only 6 residents in the swimming pool at any time. Everyone at the pools, unless they are residents of the same household, must follow the CDC's 6-foot social distancing requirement. 

Swimming sessions at each pool are: 
9 a.m. - noon
1 p.m. - 4 p.m.
5 p.m. - 8 p.m.
Every hour in between will be used to sanitize pool furniture and equipment.


So, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy your weekend!  According to my Weatherbug app, we are in for seven straight days of rain, starting Saturday, so I will head down to the pool again later today...  :-)


~ Another livestreamed concert with Danny Schmidt and Carrie Elkin:  Saturday (tomorrow!), May 9th at 2 p.m. CDT (that's 8 p.m. in the UK). Mark your calendars and come join in the festivities. The first one we did was a really lovely gathering of our community, and it felt really good to "be" with everyone in this way. Let's do it again!


~ View From My Window:  Facebook group offers 'window views' for millions during COVID-19.  While a global pandemic forces most of us to stay at home, the Facebook group View from My Window allows millions of its members to virtually travel the world. (SusanP sent the link to NancyW, who told me about it.  Thanks, friends!)


~ Mattel launches action figure line to honor and support coronavirus frontline workers:  Toy maker Mattel is “playing it forward” to coronavirus frontline workers with a new line of action figures and Little People Community Champions.  The #ThankYouHeroes collection features 16 action figures including nurses, doctors, emergency medical technicians and delivery drivers, the release said. The five-piece Little People set includes a nurse, doctor, EMT, delivery driver and grocery store worker.


~ Special occasion in quarantine? This party truck has a ‘drive-by happiness experience’:  Zombie Ice has created “A Drive By Bday Experience.”  “Bummed because your plans were put on hold by the lockdown!?” reads the ad on its Facebook page. “We can bring back a bit of joy to your day and make it safe for everyone!”  The $45 experience includes six shaved ices, a video with pictures clients send of the child; festive snow shooting from the professionally sanitized truck for the partygoers to play in. There’s even a boomerang photo booth. Touch-free, of course.


~ COVID-19 forces 5 South Florida LGBTQ pride festivals to create a ‘Virtual Pride’ event:  In 2019, hundreds of thousands of celebrants packed five LGBTQ pride celebrations from Lake Worth Beach to Calle Ocho.  This year, though, the coronavirus struck just before South Florida’s pride season got underway — forcing cancellation or postponement of four major festivals, including the region’s two biggest in Miami Beach and Fort Lauderdale.  In a moment of camaraderie that has surprised the organizers themselves of the five nonprofit pride festivals, they have formed a collective that will present an online “Virtual Pride” festival Saturday and Sunday. 



SONG:  Embroidery Stars by Carrie Elkin

BOOK:  Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World - and Why Things Are Better Than You Think by Hans Rosling, Anna Rosling Rönnlund, Ola Rosling

POEM:  Around Us by Marvin Bell

We need some pines to assuage the darkness
when it blankets the mind,
we need a silvery stream that banks as smoothly
as a plane's wing, and a worn bed of
needles to pad the rumble that fills the mind,
and a blur or two of a wild thing
that sees and is not seen. We need these things
between appointments, after work,
and, if we keep them, then someone someday
lying down after a walk
and supper, with the fire hole wet down,
the whole night sky set a particular
time, without numbers or hours, will cause
a little sound of thanks--a zipper or a snap--
to close round the moment and the thought
of whatever good we did.

QUOTE:  "To live is so startling, it leaves little time for anything else." ~ Emily Dickinson

2020 Vision (Danny Schmidt)

It's April 30, the last day of National Poetry Month, and I've enjoyed discovering and sharing so many new poems, many of which were written recently about the coronavirus and its short-term as well as far-reaching effects, both positive and negative.

I am actually quite proud of my discipline in putting together a blog post every day but, at this point, I will be scaling back to three times a week:  Mindful Monday, Wholehearted Wednesday, Feel Good Friday.  CheeZy, right?  I'm okay with that...  :-)

Reminder.  Tonight!  Shelter in Poems: A Virtual Reading, Thursday, April 30, 7:30 p.m. EDT:  The evening will include poems presented by:  Elizabeth Alexander, Sam Beam, Richard Blanco, Julia Bullock, Marilyn Chin, Rita Dove, Patrick Gaspard, Amanda Gorman, Joy Harjo, Juan Felipe Herrera, Edward Hirsch, Stephin Merritt, Maulik Pancholy, Alison Pill, Dan Rather, Alberto Ríos, Mustafa Shakir, Naomi Shihab Nye, Lorna Simpson, Amber Tamblyn. and other special guests.  The event will raise funds to support our free publications and programs, including our K-12 education program. As National Poetry Month comes to a close, many of us will have weathered a month of solitude in an act of solidarity to protect each other. During these weeks, poetry has brought us all closer together, even as we remain physically apart.


About today's song, from Danny Schmidt:

2020 has been a most extraordinary and challenging year. It’s been surreal to live through, in real time, what will almost certainly be the most significant defining event of our generation . . . without the hindsight which always makes historic outcomes appear inevitable. Because while hindsight might, indeed, be 20/20 . . . the year 2020 in real time has felt incredibly blurry, distorted, twisted, and astigmatic.

But even amidst the mayhem, fear, and anxiety of the Great Uncertainty, there’s been something beautiful in witnessing eight billion people regaining their balance and reconstructing their lives all at the same time, and all on the fly. And somehow, sharing the ordeal together has created a remarkable display of resilience, creativity of human spirit, relentlessness of human connection, and given rise to an emergent new culture, self-organized from out of the chaos.

And then there's the loss. The loss of our sense of invincibility, the loss of work, of purpose, of rhythm, of independence. And of course, the actual loss of life. With a little luck and some indefinite wait, we will hopefully regain most of what we've lost when this is all over . . . as most of those things were loaned away willingly in service to protecting the one thing that sadly can never be recovered.

“2020 Vision” is a song of my reflections and impressions on what we’ve lost, what we’ve learned, and what we’ve become collectively, at this point in time, somewhere in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic of 2020.



SONG:  2020 Vision by Danny Schmidt (lyrics included in the link)

BOOK:  Poetry in the Time of Coronavirus: The Anthology by Poets of The World, G.A. Cuddy (Editor), Charlotte Knauth (Illustrator)

POEM: National Poetry Month by Elaine Equi

When a poem

speaks by itself,
it has a spark

and can be considered

part of a divine
conversation.

Sometimes the poem weaves
like a basket around
two loaves of yellow bread.

"Break off a piece
of this April with its
raisin nipples," it says.

"And chew them slowly

under your pillow.
You belong in bed with me."

On the other hand,

when a poem speaks
in the voice of a celebrity

it is called television

or a movie.
"There is nothing to see,"

says Robert De Niro,

though his poem bleeds
all along the edges

like a puddle
crudely outlined
with yellow tape

at the crime scene
of spring.
"It is an old poem," he adds.

"And besides,
I was very young
when I made it."

QUOTE:  "A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness." ~ Robert Frost

New Mexico (Carrie Elkin)

[ I ordered a Carrie Elkin T-shirt during her and Danny Schmidt's live Facebook concert Saturday before last.  It arrived only a week later, wrapped in this beautiful painting.  Thanks times a bazillion, Maizy Rae...  💚 ]

It's Feel Good Friday.  Zippity!  Five items below of beauty, interest, and humor.  As Carrie sings in the blog title song, "I can hear the heartbeat in everything around me".  I hope you can, too...  :-)


~ One Bright Thing:  Need a little lift? Amid the bleakness, 18 New York Times writers shared moments that lightened their mood (be sure to scroll past the jump to read them all.)

~ QuaranToons:  Broadway.com illustrator Tug Rice has been thinking up what our favorite Broadway characters are doing while theaters are closed and they're at home social distancing.

~ Coconut Macaroons, Two Easy Ways:  I am not a baker, so I am shouting this recipe from the virtual rooftops.  (I used JustEgg to veganize it, and added cinnamon and a splash of vanilla.  Easy-peasy, and so yum!)

~ ElizaLive!  Songs of Comfort and Consolation, Friday April 17th, live from Eliza's Living Room via Facebook @ 5:30 pm Central.  
From Eliza:  Dear Friends, it has been disappointing to not be able to tour my new record  “2020”  when it was designed to motivate and inspire during a critical election year. But the Coronavirus puts things in a whole other perspective. And while I remain focused on making sure we can and will be able to vote come November, I also want to perform music for my friends as a way of reaching out and staying connected in a more communal way. We need to stay sane, grounded and hopeful, aware of each other and our vulnerabilities as well as our strengths... Someday we will gather in person again and we will speak of this time in our lives as the challenging and deepening process it has been. I look forward to that with all my heart. 

~ Help Luna Star Cafe Survive the Coronavirus
When Luna Star Cafe is closed there isn't any trade.
No one’s sitting at the bar, no music’s being made.
No one’s drinking any beer or ordering from ‘the board’.
No one’s tipping Monica who’s much loved and adored.
No one’s there with any cash, no one’s there at all,
Now Alexis’s cafe bank account is seriously small!
So send in your donations.  Help Luna Star Café!
If you live in another state, send something anyway!
Imagine you drank a beer or two and paid the cover charge.
 Imagine you ate a pasta dish served on that plate so large. 
It’s easy to thank Alexis with applause and words of praise  
Now let's thank her with with donations till the VIRUS goes away!


SONG:  New Mexico by Carrie Elkin

BOOK:  Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul by Melody Beattie

POEM:  Heart by Maggie Smith

A child of, say, six knows you’re not the shape
she’s learned to make by drawing half along a fold,
cutting, then opening. Where do you open?
Where do you carry your dead? There’s no locket
for that—hinged, hanging on a chain that greens
your throat. And the dead inside you, don’t you
hear them breathing? You must have a hole
they can press their gray lips to. If you open—
when you open—will we find them folded inside?
In what shape? I mean what cut shape is made
whole by opening? I mean besides the heart.

QUOTE:  "A man's work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened." ~ Albert Camus

Kiss Me Now (Danny Schmidt)

Another musical PSA!  My history with Danny Schmidt is deep and wide.  Rather than recap, here is the link to multiple blog posts which describe how I was introduced to his music, presented him in two house concerts, showcased him a handful of times at my Labyrinth Cafe concert series, engaged in long and deep conversations, both in-person and via e-mail.  Of course, through Danny I fell in love with Carrie as well, equally talented and dear.  I was honored and grateful to be invited to their wedding in October 2014, and I joked that I "f*cked up their numbers" by actually attending (you know, those out-of-town friends and family who you never expect to really come).  Oh, what a celebration of JOY and LOVE!

Received the following e-newsletter from Danny a few days ago.  I love his, and Carrie's, music so much that I'm thinking seriously of restoring my deactivated Facebook account (well, only for the few hours or so the concert is happening...  :-)  Join me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Y'all --

I don't need to tell you these are challenging and extraordinary times. I sincerely hope that you are each safe and healthy, and feeling well-supported emotionally. Carrie and I are doing our best to keep Maizy happy and engaged while on house arrest. It's a hard concept for a three year old . . . but good practice for future groundings.

We're also doing our best to reschedule our cancelled tours as quickly as possible, given the uncertain timetable of the return to normalcy. Meanwhile, we're using what free time we have to write new songs and remain productive.

Carrie and I are playing an online concert this Saturday, live from our living room. We're really disappointed that our springtime travels have all been curtailed . . . so this is our way of trying to connect with those of you who we'll miss . . . and our way of trying to stay musicially (and humanly) connected with the rest of our extended and isolated community.

Here's the details:

Saturday, April 4th 2020
Danny Schmidt + Carrie Elkin: The Sequestered Together Concert
Streaming on Facebook Live starting at 2:00pm CDT
(That's 8pm in the UK, and 9pm in Europe.)

You can watch from this link:
https://www.facebook.com/dannyschmidtmusic/live

We really hope to see you all online this Saturday. And we really REALLY hope that you are staying healthy and maintaining your stability through this ordeal. Many of you I know personally. Many of you I only know through our musical connection. But ANY of you, if you're feeling like you need an extra somebody to talk with right now, please don't hesitate to reach out. I'll do whatever I can to lend an ear and a hand to anyone in need.

All the best —
Danny

P.S.  The song I chose is written by Danny Schmidt, and was his onstage proposal to Carrie at South by Southwest.   The video was shot at the GreenHouse concert a couple days after Danny proposed to Carrie at their SXSW showcase in 2013.  It includes a funny telling of the story of how the proposal went down, and then a performance of the sweet song that Danny wrote for Carrie to ask her to marry him.  Enjoy this special moment!


SONG:  Kiss Me Now by Danny Schmidt

BOOK:  Daisy-Head Mayzie by Dr. Seuss

POEM:  To Jane: The Invitation by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Best and brightest, come away!
Fairer far than this fair Day,
Which, like thee to those in sorrow,
Comes to bid a sweet good-morrow
To the rough Year just awake
In its cradle on the brake.
The Brightest hour of unborn Spring,
Through the winter wandering,
Found, it seems, the halcyon Morn
To hoar February born.
Bending from Heaven, in azure mirth,
It kissed the forehead of the Earth,
And smiled upon the silent sea,
And bade the frozen streams be free,
And waked to music all their fountains,
And breathed upon the frozen mountains,
And like a prophetess of May
Strewed flowers upon the barren way,
Making the wintry world appear
Like one on whom thou smilest, dear.
Away, away, from men and towns,
To the wild wood and the downs—
To the silent wilderness
Where the soul need not repress
Its music lest it should not find
An echo in another’s mind.
While the touch of Nature’s art
Harmonizes heart to heart.
I leave this notice on my door
For each accustomed visitor:—
“I am gone into the fields
To take what this sweet hour yields;—
Reflection, you may come tomorrow,
Sit by the fireside with Sorrow.—
You with the unpaid bill, Despair,—
You, tiresome verse-reciter, Care,—
I will pay you in the grave,—
Death will listen to your stave.
Expectation too, be off!
Today is for itself enough;
Hope, in pity mock not Woe
With smiles, nor follow where I go;
Long having lived on thy sweet food,
At length I find one moment’s good
After long pain—with all your love,
This you never told me of.”

Radiant Sister of the Day,
Awake! arise! And come away!
To the wild woods and the plains,
And the pools where winter rains
Image all their roof of leaves,
Where the pine its garland weaves
Of sapless green, and ivy dun
Round stems that never kiss the sun:
Where the lawns and pastures be,
And the sandhills of the sea:—
Where the melting hoar-frost wets
The daisy-star that never sets,
And wind-flowers, and violets,
Which yet join not scent to hue,
Crown the pale year weak and new;
When the night is left behind
In the deep east, dun and blind,
And the blue noon is over us,
And the multitudinous
Billows murmur at our feet,
Where the earth and ocean meet,
And all things seem only one
In the universal sun.

QUOTE:  "And what is romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything as you like it, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite your nose, and it's always daisy-time." ~ D. H. Lawrence

Grampa Built Bridges (Danny Schmidt)

Okay... after yesterday's Pity Party post, I felt I needed to let you all know there are definitely bright spots in my transplanted life here - I've written before that I'm a big fan of Danny Schmidt's and, when I went looking on his site a few weeks ago for his latest tour schedule and found he would be appearing in a house concert about 30 minutes south of where my mom lives... well, can you spell
N-O B-R-A-I-N-E-R?

I dropped the host the following note:

My name is Susan... and I would like to make a reservation for your Danny/Jonathan/Doug&Telisha house concert on Saturday, June 20, please - there will be at least one (me) and hopefully I can bring a few more friends!

Long story short: I live, and run a concert series, in South Florida (links below) - I'm friends with, and have delightfully hosted, Danny and Jonathan. I'm currently in Flowery Branch (about 30 minutes north of you) with my ailing/aging mother - what began as a two-week visit has turned indefinite... and I'm jonesing for a music fix, as well as a break from caretaking...

If you have room, please count me in... and send me your address - I will keep you posted as to whether there will be others as it gets closer...

I'll ask your help in keeping this a secret, please... as I'd love to surprise the guys - would you do me a favor and make the reservation for Connie? (my mom's name... :-)

Thanks so much - I look forward to meeting you!

I did make it, had a grand time and wrote the musicians the e-mail below last evening:

Hey, Danny, Jonathan, Doug and Telisha -

Wanted to tell you, albeit belatedly, how much I enjoyed seeing you all at Art and Nance's this past Saturday night - it was great fun to surprise Danny and Jonathan (as well as be surprised by Don Porterfield!)... in addition to having a chance to "refill my well" from my caregiving duties of the last month...

Jonathan, I adore the new CD (and can't believe I hadn't yet taken the time to buy it) - every time I think your music can't get any better, it does. I've long thought that each new album is a re-invention... but now realize each is actually an extension... of your wisdom, experience and heart - Diana Jones is my new favorite JByrd song... :-)

Doug and Telisha, what a delight to be introduced to your great tunes and wonderful personalities - you're in good company on this tour, and you more than held your own. I always appreciate a new discovery (and promise to listen to your CD as soon as I can pry Jonathan's out of the player) - let's definitely talk about future Florida shows, okay?

Danny, count me in as a lover of Guilty By Association Blues - I also "called" the segue from D&T's Nashville song (turned to Don and said, "I'll bet money Danny follows that with Beggars & Mules"). Thanks for adding me to the dedication of Grampa Built Bridges (and for signing Instead the Forest Rose to Sing for my sister, who was staying with mom so I could take a break) - as I was leaving, and you hugged me long and hard, I somewhat tearily said, "there's no more stories about bridges indeed"... and you replied something to the effect of bridges always being built, which is a perfect metaphor for what I'm going through with my mom right now (so much baggage and history to wade through to get to the grace and dignity of this life transition)...

Wish I could arrange to make it down to Eddie's Attic... but that would just be decadent overload, even for an instant gratification Leo like myself - much love to you all... and thanks again for all you do, all you are and all you give to so many... <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. Song commentary on Grampa Built Bridges from Danny's website:

It's my assertion that as our culture has gotten more urban and technological, and as our more direct connections with nature have been severed, we're not so in touch anymore with the autumns and winters of life -- the decomposing leaves, the turning back into soil -- and when we envision the path of a life, our model seems to only celebrate the bloomings and blossomings, and no longer celebrates the dignity in the inevitable curling and falling of the petals. And in that, our culture doesn't seem to prepare us to cross gracefully from one state of existence into another the way some older cultures have.

SONG: Grampa Built Bridges by Danny Schmidt

BOOK: Look at the Sky : Death in Cultures Around the World by Shawn Haley

POEM: Riveted by Robyn Sarah

It is possible that things will not get better

than they are now, or have been known to be.

It is possible that we are past the middle now.

It is possible that we have crossed the great water

without knowing it, and stand now on the other side.

Yes: I think that we have crossed it. Now

we are being given tickets, and they are not

tickets to the show we had been thinking of,

but to a different show, clearly inferior.

Check again: it is our own name on the envelope.

The tickets are to that other show.

It is possible that we will walk out of the darkened hall

without waiting for the last act: people do.

Some people do. But it is probable

that we will stay seated in our narrow seats

all through the tedious dénouement

to the unsurprising end — riveted, as it were;

spellbound by our own imperfect lives

because they are lives,

and because they are ours.

QUOTE: "Praise the bridge that carried you over." ~ George Colman

Lucky (Danny Schmidt)

This is what's been happening in my life since late Monday/early Tuesday... reprinted from various e-mail updates I wrote to family and friends - cutting to the chase (before you have to read the loooooong recap below): I am now home and Eric is much better (another crisis averted!).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sent: Tue, 24 Mar 2009 7:41 pm

Subject: Eric

I'm doing one big-*ss bcc: to keep everyone in the loop - I know you all understand...

I am in the hospital room with E, who is sleeping soundly, with an IV drip of antibiotics and pain medication - they're also giving him a potassium IV, as that's severely low...

I made it to Orlando in three hours (what is normally a 4-hour drive) - let's just say the Universe was running interference, in the form of a black car in front of me that was going a few miles faster (mumble mumble 80+ mumble mumble), making everyone move out of the way, which I followed it almost the entire trip. Coincidence? - I think not...

Long story short: Eric (my 20-year-old son, as most of you know) woke up yesterday (Monday morning) with a lesion on his left cheek, and the whole side of his face swollen and painful, including an almost-shut eye - he went to a walk-in clinic, where they gave him antibiotics and pain meds in pill form, and told him to come back the following day...

When things still were not better by 8 p.m., his roommate took him back there, whereupon the doctor on duty told him to go immediately to an emergency room - after a few hours there, they admitted him a bit before midnight. I knew at that point I would be driving up today, spending a few hours this morning clearing my calendar - thanks to all of you who I cancelled/ postponed...

A doctor specializing in infectious diseases came in this morning, but hasn't been back - Eric is now in what is considered to be isolation, recommending that people who visit wear gowns/ gloves. At this point, they are trying to rule out what it's not - he's had a CAT scan, blood work and various swabs. The lesion/swelling has happened twice before in the last six months, but not anywhere this severely - it just feels good to finally be dealing with it...

I so appreciate everyone's skyward prayers... purple candles... healing energy... good thoughts... best wishes - I will pass them on when he wakes. I have packed enough for a 5-day stay, and will be here longer if necessary - the cafeteria food (mmm, salad bar) is pretty good (weak smile... :-)

I'll attempt daily updates - in the meantime, thanks again for the continued blessing of your friendship...

Sent: Wed, 25 Mar 2009 8:44 pm

Subject: Eric - 3/25/09 update

It's been a good day, informationally and otherwise, after a very frustrating evening of fitful rest coupled with constant interruptions - I know it's for Eric's own good but, when there's someone in the room every hour, taking vitals, changing IV bags, giving pain medication, making sure he's hydrated, etc., it's exhausting... literally...

He did catch up a bit during the day, sleeping more deeply and for a longer period of time since I've been here - I'm glad I'm able to run interference/be the advocate to answer questions so they don't have to bother him unnecessarily...

So... we were finally able to talk to the doctor of infectious diseases today... and, although they can't confirm until the culture comes back (48 to 72 hours after swabbing his nasal cavity yesterday), he is 90-95% certain it is MRSA, a staph infection common in hospitals, athletic environments and student communities. What we thought was a spider bite this past fall seems to have been this (strange they didn't diagnose it as such at the time, especially in a college town) - I've done a bit of googling and it's more than a bit scary, although comforting now that we know what we're dealing with...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mrsa/DS00735

Some people are more susceptible than others - Eric could very well be affected the rest of his life, and we're becoming informed on ways he can attempt to minimize outbreaks. They will be keeping him another two days (at least) to make sure the antibiotics have made a major impact on the infection - he already looks and feels substantially better since my arrival, although the wound site is still painful and abscessed, albeit smaller...

Poor baby - we'll try to get him showered and changed into fresh clothing later tonight (we need their help, because the IV line goes through the sleeve of the gown), which will go a long way toward recovery...

When he's finally discharged, I'll stay up here another day to help with laundry, cleaning and cooking - what's a mom for if not to make big batches of soup, right?!?

Again... thanks - your collaborative and continued love is felt and passed on...

P.S. I'm finally getting around to reading Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed - highly recommended (waving to my BookWomen, sorry about missing tonight's Pride and Prejudice meeting... :-)

http://www.amazon.com/Hour-I-First-Believed-Novel/dp/0060393491

Sent: Fri, 27 Mar 2009 11:13 am

Subject: Eric - 3/27/09 update (He Shall Be Released - with apologies to Bob Dylan)

Wanted to let you all know Eric was released last night (Thursday) about 8 p.m. - it happened quickly, with the doctor coming in about 5 to check on the lesion, which had begun draining earlier in the day (apparently what they had been waiting for). He escalated prescription writing for oral antibiotics and pain medication and, once those finally came through (we had already started packing), we were good to go. And yes, if you're confusedly wondering... three hours *is* quick by hospital standards - it's certainly been an exercise in patience and perspective...

Cut to the chase: we spent the night at Eric's apartment last night, which he shares with a roommate - how wonderful to finally stretch out, face down, on a real bed (as opposed to face up on a semi-reclining, hard-as-a-rock chair) - I'm having to use his computer, as there's no wireless in the complex to people who don't live there/subscribe...

The plan today is to do lots of laundry (hot water and bleach), clean the apartment and make sh*tpots (a Southern term for beaucoups) of soup - I could actually end up coming home tonight or may wait until tomorrow (Saturday), depending on his need to have me here/desire to be rid of me now that he's better...

More health/technical stuff involved, of course, which I won't regale you with - let's just say that it's a process, and we're prepared to handle it all, one day at a time...

Thanks again - your support and love are palpable and cherished...

Sent: Sat, 28 Mar 2009 8:54 pm

Subject: Re: Eric - 3/28/09 update (Home - Meg Hutchinson)

Just wanted to quickly let everyone know I'm home, leaving Orlando for Pembroke Pines about 3:30 this afternoon) - will spend the remainder of the evening catching up on voicemail and e-mail and snail mail, oh my!

I promise to follow up with personal replies tomorrow as I attempt to get back into the chaos I call my life - thanks in advance for everyone's patience... :-)

Eric is much better, after having consumed about 10 bowls of my soup so far - I think there are a few gallons left. Hey, I'm Italian - I don't know how to cook "small". I also made dinner last night... lots of pasta, sauteed veggies and turkey meatballs for him, his roommate, his roommate's girlfriend and a few other friends who wandered into their apartment - I stocked the fridge and pantry with other healthful options as well... and we cleaned/disinfected everything in sight...

The hospital sent him home with two prescriptions, one of which (the antibiotic) could only be half-filled until the pharmacy re-stocks on Monday... and the other (the painkiller) couldn't be filled at all because the doctor wrote the wrong date (2006 instead of 2009). Since Eric was discharged, I have to wait to call Medical Records, which doesn't re-open until Monday, to straighten everything out - so frustrating, because it was their error (and thankfully, he has enough from his previous prescription to get him through a few days)...

So... attempting business as usual... slooooowly - thanks again to all... for just *being* there...

P.S. Headed soon to the jacuzzi... with something alcoholic in hand - "got a little pinot grigio for a woman with the blues?" (I miss you, Rachel... :-)

SONG: Lucky by Danny Schmidt

BOOK: The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb

POEM: Meditation on Ruin by Jay Hopler

It's not the lost lover that brings us to ruin, or the barroom

brawl,

or the con game gone bad, or the beating

Taken in the alleyway. But the lost car keys,

The broken shoelace,

The overcharge at the gas pump

Which we broach without comment — these are the things that

eat away at life, these constant vibrations

In the web of the unremarkable.

The death of a father — the death of the mother —

The sudden loss shocks the living flesh alive! But the broken

pair of glasses,

The tear in the trousers,

These begin an ache behind the eyes.

And it's this ache to which we will ourselves

Oblivious. We are oblivious. Then, one morning—there's a

crack in the water glass —we wake to find ourselves undone.

QUOTE: "In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order." ~ Carl Jung