Better Off Broke (Danny Schmidt)

Tuesday, March 10 was the official CD Release of Danny Schmidt's Instead the Forest Rose to Sing... and this past Saturday, March 14, I had the honor of presenting him (in a co-bill with Nick Annis) in my concert series - it's taken me this long to revive my vocabulary in order to write about the magical weekend!

I've spoken of my love for Danny Schmidt's music throughout this blog - he is as dear as he is talented, a sentiment reinforced during his recent stay. He made a point to show up early so we had time to visit before driving to the Labyrinth Cafe later that day - he also offered to help chop or stir, as he was keeping me company in the kitchen while I made a batch of pasta primavera for the performers and volunteers (I didn't let him... but still... :-)

I had e-mailed Danny a few weeks before the gig, telling him how much, and why, I loved the song Accidentally Daisies on his new CD - I also mentioned that Elizabeth, who was accompanying Nick the night of the show, played fiddle/violin and, with Danny's blessing, I could drop her a note asking her to work up a string part for the second half of the song (stating of course no pressure/no worries if not). What could have turned into a "train wreck" (Danny's words) evolved into a stunning collaboration which meant the world to me - when the threesome (Danny, Elizabeth and Nick) did his Company of Friends as their encore, I had goosebumps on top of goosebumps...

We all later segued to Peter Pan Diner (a post-concert tradition) for food and chat, Danny and I getting home very late, only to have to rise early the next morning, Danny to drive to Tampa for a house concert and me to head to church to facilitate a service - before he left, I asked him to sign a CD for a friend and a poster for me... and I gave him a present to pass on to his sweetie who had inspired the song: a small bowl from my wedding china, with a border of daisies (thanks, CE... :-)

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am a very blessed and lucky woman...

P.S. SMM here, here, here, here and here...

SONG: Better Off Broke by Danny Schmidt

BOOK: Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness by Esther Hicks, Jerry Hicks

POEM: The Moment by Margaret Atwood

The moment when, after many years

of hard work and a long voyage

you stand in the centre of your room,

house, half-acre, square mile, island, country,

knowing at last how you got there,

and say, I own this,

is the same moment when the trees unloose

their soft arms from around you,

the birds take back their language,

the cliffs fissure and collapse,

the air moves back from you like a wave

and you can't breathe.

No, they whisper. You own nothing.

You were a visitor, time after time

climbing the hill, planting the flag, proclaiming.

We never belonged to you.

You never found us.

It was always the other way round.

QUOTE: "Money and time are the heaviest burdens of life and... the unhappiest of all mortals are those who have more of either than they know how to use." ~ Samuel Johnson

Let's Start the New Year Right (Bing Crosby)

For 2009, A Happiness Action Plan
Dr. Sandra R. Scantling
December 28, 2008

Every New Year's Eve, as the clock ticks its remaining few seconds and the ball in Times Square begins its descent, I feel excitement and trepidation. It doesn't seem to matter where I happen to be celebrating. Be it a big party or quietly at home with my husband (and Dick Clark, of course), my reactions are the same.

Like so many others, when the final countdown begins, I want to "be there" to witness the birth of the New Year. At that instant, at the juxtaposition of old and new, I feel compelled to hold on, to pay special attention, as a voice inside whispers: "This is it ... this is all there will be in 2008. The record is sealed."

Amid the joy and celebration, there is a solemnity as I reflect on my personal responsibilities and wonder, "What will the coming year bring? What is my role in making it a happy year?"

Aristotle said: "Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence." It is one of the most often wished for, most frequently written about and most poorly understood experience. There are thousands of texts on the subject, from the wise to the mundane, from spiritual guidance to self-help — but happiness still often eludes us.

Although I'm a sex therapist, most couples come to see me because they'd like to be happier. They know this can't be all there is in life. Arguing and work. Where's the joy? Where's the passion? they ask.

As they look across my office at their partner and make blaming statements, like "you never tell me you love me any more" or "you always wait for me to initiate sex," they ignore the hurt looks that result. Each party feels slighted and often defensive. Even if they sound like they're taking responsibility — "Yes, I admit it, I'm not a very expressive person, but I've always been this way ... " — it sometimes comes out as justification for their behavior. And, in case you haven't noticed, nagging, complaining or finger pointing only builds resentment and hostility. I've never heard a patient say, "I finally decided to change because my partner yelled at me in a convincing enough way."

So I can hear you asking, "What am I supposed to do? I deserve to be happy."

Yes you do. So why aren't you? Who is responsible for your happiness?

Perhaps you are the person stopping yourself from being happy. How do you feel when you think about acting differently to achieve happiness? Maybe you're annoyed at the suggestion of changing, a case of "Here we go again; I have to do it all. If only he wasn't so cold, selfish, controlling (fill in the adjectives), things would be fine." I can guarantee he's thinking the same thing.

This is a fruitless struggle that leaves both partners exhausted. No wonder you're tired and don't have any energy left to make love.

The New Year is the perfect time to experiment — when the calendar resets, we're given a chance for a "do-over." Instead of making the usual resolutions, create a happiness action plan. Then follow through. Find where happiness is present in your lives, and do more of it. Remember something you're grateful for in your partner that you haven't acknowledged. Then tell them. Laugh and smile more often.

As this challenging year comes to a close, and we make our personal wishes for health, peace, prosperity and happiness, it's comforting to know that people all over the globe are wishing for the same things. As Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."

Happy New Year!

My husband and I are keeping it fairly low-key tonight - although we've had at least three invitations to various get-togethers, we're probably going to a movie and then home to drink champagne in the jacuzzi. Can't help but feel somber about my mom and Vic, two people who have lived their lives fully but are now struggling - I know they'd advocate Carpe Diem (and I'll do that tomorrow, I promise), but tonight solitude and close companionship seems more appropriate...

P.S. Over at Star Maker Machine, we're paying tribute to musicians who have passed on in 2008 (my contribution can be found here) - condolences and blessings to all who left us throughout the year...

SONG: Let's Start the New Year Right as sung by Bing Crosby (written by Irving Berlin for the movie Holiday Inn)

BOOK: The New Year by Pearl S. Buck

POEM: If I Had My Life to Live Over by Nadine Stair (85 years old)

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live
sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I'd have more of them.
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

QUOTE: “The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” ~ Samuel Johnson