Showing posts with label Arthur Schopenhauer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arthur Schopenhauer. Show all posts

Friday, January 25, 2008

Sleep (Melissa Etheridge)

After months of festival preparation, hosting a house concert, the South Florida Folk Festival weekend, out-of-town company, back-to-back jaunts to the Luna Star Cafe (in addition to my regular life of a full-time job, running a concert series and various UU church commitments), I was finally able to get a good night's sleep - I got in the bed last night at 8 p.m. and woke up at 8 a.m. (a full twelve hours!).

My normal sleep cycle is 4 - 6 hours... and I feel so rested that it's actually disorienting - my weekend is laidback such that I'll go to a movie with my husband this evening (a date night long overdue), work on the BFC newsletter (as well as my laundry and housekeeping) Saturday and make it to Brian and Ellen's festival decompression party Sunday.


That's all... that's enough - gotta love January in South Florida (music overload!)... but I'm ready to segue back into normality (at least my version of it, which is still too frenetic for most... :-)

SONG: Sleep by Melissa Etheridge


BOOK: I'll Sleep When I'm Dead: The Dirty Life and Times of Warren Zevon by Crystal Zevon

POEM: City That Does Not Sleep by Federico GarcĂ­a Lorca (translated by Robert Bly)

In the sky there is nobody asleep. Nobody, nobody.
Nobody is asleep.
The creatures of the moon sniff and prowl about their cabins.
The living iguanas will come and bite the men who do not dream,
and the man who rushes out with his spirit broken will meet on the
street corner
the unbelievable alligator quiet beneath the tender protest of the
stars.

Nobody is asleep on earth. Nobody, nobody.
Nobody is asleep.
In a graveyard far off there is a corpse
who has moaned for three years
because of a dry countryside on his knee;
and that boy they buried this morning cried so much
it was necessary to call out the dogs to keep him quiet.

Life is not a dream. Careful! Careful! Careful!
We fall down the stairs in order to eat the moist earth
or we climb to the knife edge of the snow with the voices of the dead
dahlias.
But forgetfulness does not exist, dreams do not exist;
flesh exists. Kisses tie our mouths
in a thicket of new veins,
and whoever his pain pains will feel that pain forever
and whoever is afraid of death will carry it on his shoulders.

One day
the horses will live in the saloons
and the enraged ants
will throw themselves on the yellow skies that take refuge in the
eyes of cows.

Another day
we will watch the preserved butterflies rise from the dead
and still walking through a country of gray sponges and silent boats
we will watch our ring flash and roses spring from our tongue.
Careful! Be careful! Be careful!
The men who still have marks of the claw and the thunderstorm,
and that boy who cries because he has never heard of the invention
of the bridge,
or that dead man who possesses now only his head and a shoe,
we must carry them to the wall where the iguanas and the snakes
are waiting,
where the bear's teeth are waiting,
where the mummified hand of the boy is waiting,
and the hair of the camel stands on end with a violent blue shudder.

Nobody is sleeping in the sky. Nobody, nobody.
Nobody is sleeping.
If someone does close his eyes,
a whip, boys, a whip!
Let there be a landscape of open eyes
and bitter wounds on fire.

No one is sleeping in this world. No one, no one.
I have said it before.
No one is sleeping.
But if someone grows too much moss on his temples during the
night,
open the stage trapdoors so he can see in the moonlight
the lying goblets, and the poison, and the skull of the theaters.

QUOTE: "Sleep is the interest we have to pay on the capital which is called in at death; and the higher the rate of interest and the more regularly it is paid, the further the date of redemption is postponed." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Father and Son (Cat Stevens)

My father-in-law died this morning, after an extended illness and a sharp decline in the last few weeks - my husband's sister called at 6 this morning to give us the news. Despite our daily expectation of the sad tidings, it's been a most difficult 18 hours - we are walking the fine line between grief and organization as we attempt to corral our family of five into a minivan, leaving South Florida early Saturday morning, stopping in Orlando to pick up Eric and then heading to South Carolina.


The funeral is Sunday at 2:00 p.m. - we will arrive very late Saturday night and depart Monday morning to return to Florida. There was no thought but that all of us would go - that's what family does. We won't get there in time for the Saturday afternoon 3:00 - 5:00 p.m. viewing - I've ordered a wreath, "the traditional symbol for endurance and continuity, constructed from laurel (a symbol of honor) and rosemary (a symbol of remembrance) and larkspur" to arrive in our stead...

Through our tears it will be wonderful to see R's sister and brother-in-law and their three children... his brother... his father's second wife - my mom, brother, sister and niece will make the 3 1/2 hour trip from Atlanta to pay their respects. We will mourn the loss of a loved one while at the same time honoring the sad occasion that brings us together - we will cry and laugh and tell stories and hug each other, tightly and often. We will know that the next time we get together, it will probably be for the passing of another of us - life is random, which makes it all the more cherished...

I loved Bob - he was strong-willed yet gentle, opinionated yet quiet, unassuming yet generous. He made me feel welcome into their family from the first time R brought me home to meet his parents - he patiently allowed me to bloom in their environment. Bob was born in Brazil, 85 years ago this December, and took pride in his heritage, even when it worked to his disadvantage - when my husband's family moved to the States when he was 13 years old, his father, a former Air Brazil pilot, had a hard time finding work...

Bob adored all our children, sending them periodic checks to supplement their college scholarships (they called him Vovo, which is Portuguese for grandfather) - he mailed me a check for $100 for my birthday each August, urging me to spend it on something frivolous (my purple Birkenstocks are a prime example... :-) Despite the geographic distance, he also gave of his time and energy - every Christmas I'd gift him with a bottle of scotch, some good cigars and a large-print book (the former two of which he had to give up a few years ago).

My husband relied on his father for active/political discussion and calmly-shared advice - Bob's life philosophy was that we are all boats on the ocean, and our job is to trust the current and make as few waves as possible. My husband worries too much - my father-in-law was a sounding board and a grounding wire throughout R's childhood and beyond...

R hasn't really processed this yet, remaining in business mode (because it's been an effective coping mechanism all his life) - however, his sister has asked him to do the eulogy, the preparation of which is bound to be painful yet cathartic. I suggested we brainstorm ideas in the car on the way up... a collaborative effort of son and grandchildren and daughter-in-law - he meant much, differently, to all of us... and he will be missed... immeasurably and (as the quote below states) irretrievably...



POEM: Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

QUOTE: "The deep pain that is felt at the death of every friendly soul arises from the feeling that there is in every individual something which is inexpressible, peculiar to him alone, and is, therefore, absolutely and irretrievably lost." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer