Amendment (Ani DiFranco)

Yeah, the leaked Supreme Court decision is bullsh*t, an insane power and control move, and they should all be ashamed of themselves.  I have faith that Roe v. Wade (a Constitutional right we've had for 50 years) will not be overturned.  I'm just Pollyanna-ish enough to think that, if 70% of the population believes in the right to choose, it can not, and will not, be taken away from us.  I refuse to imagine a world resembling The Handmaid's Tale.

In the meantime, I'm remembering reading an article decades ago (late-60s/early-70s) about The Jane Collective, and fearing yet feeling we may need to be prepared to resurrect it nationwide, just in case.  We worked too hard, we won't give up, and we won't go back.

Sunday is Mother's Day, and I am incredibly lucky to be able to say that all three of my children were *chosen*, because I had that luxury.  Every woman deserves a choice as to when, or if, they become mothers.

Backstory: I wrote last Friday about attending a livestream for Anna Quindlen's new book (Write for Your Life) a few weeks ago, and Kelly Corrigan was the moderator. I had never heard of KC, and was instantly captivated by her engaging personality, her fluidity of language, and her insightful questions. She mentioned being an author herself which, of course as soon as the virtual event ended, I had to google. I put all of her books on my reserve list at the library and, when I realized Glitter and Glue was about the mother-daughter relationship, I bought a copy for my daughter for the upcoming Mother's Day... and of course I had to read it first... 💞

It is indeed Feel Good Friday and, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten/enlighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

~ The 29 Best Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gifts:  Sure, it happens every year on the second Sunday in May. And, sure, every Rite Aid in the country has been teeming with cards, warning you about its impending occurrence. But, hey, we get it: Sometimes Mother’s Day sneaks up and finds us unprepared.

~  Otters:  Just a mom and her pup... 💜

~ Transcending: Words on Women and Strength:  Author Kelly Corrigan penned this moving essay about women's remarkable capacity to support each other, to laugh together, and to endure.

~ Anne Lamott:  Here is the annual Mother’s Day post, ONLY for those of you who dread the holiday, dread having strangers, cashiers & waiters exclaim cheerfully, mindlessly, “Happy Mother’s Day!” when it is a day that, for whatever reasons, makes you feel deeply sad.

~ Calm Mom Balm:  A soothing balm for those who nurture, made with flowers!

SONG:  Amendment by Ani DiFranco

BOOK(S):  Glitter and Glue... and Lift, both by Kelly Corrigan

POEM:  Right to Life by Marge Piercy

A woman is not a pear tree

thrusting her fruit into mindless fecundity

into the world. Even pear trees bear

heavily one year and rest and grow the next.

An orchard gone wild drops few warm rotting

fruit in the grass but the trees stretch

high and wiry gifting the birds forty

feet up among inch long thorns

broken atavistically from the smooth wood.

A woman is not a basket you place

your buns in to keep them warm. Not a brood

hen you can slip duck eggs under.

Not the purse holding the coins of

your descendants till you spend them in wars.

Not a bank where your genes collect interest

and interesting mutations in the tainted

rain, anymore than you are.

You plant your corn and harvest

it to eat or sell. You put the lamb

in the pasture to fatten and haul it in

to butcher for chops. You slice

the mountain in two for a road and gouge

the high plains for coal and the waters

run muddy for miles and years.

Fish die but you do not call them yours

unless you wished to eat them.

Now you legislate mineral rights in a woman.

You lay claim to her pastures for grazing,

fields for growing babies like iceburg

lettuce. You value children so dearly

that none ever go hungry, none weep

with no one to tend them when mothers

work, none lack fresh fruit,

none chew lead or cough to death and your

orphanages are empty. Every noon the best

restaurants serve poor children steaks.

At this moment at nine o'clock a partera

is performing a table top abortion on an

unwed mother in Texas who can't get Medicaid

any longer. In five days she will die

of tetanus and her little daughter will cry

and be taken away. Next door a husband

and wife are sticking pins in the son

they did not want. They will explain

for hours how wicked he is,

how he wants discipline.

We are all born of woman, in the rose

of the womb we suckled our mother's blood

and every baby born has a right to love

like a seedling to the sun. Every baby born

unloved, unwanted, is a bill that will come

due in twenty years with interest, an anger

that must find a target, a pain that will

beget pain. A decade downstream a child

screams, a woman falls, a synagogue is torched,

a firing squad summoned, a button

is pushed and the world burns.

I will choose what enters me, what becomes,

flesh of my flesh. Without choice, no politics,

no ethics lives. I am not your cornfield,

not your uranium mine, not your calf

for fattening, not your cow for milking.

You may not use me as your factory.

Priests and legislators do not hold

shares in my womb or my mind.

This is my body. If I give it to you

I want it back. My life

is a non-negotiable demand.

QUOTE(S):  “Raising people is not some lark. It's serious work with serious repercussions. It's air-traffic control. You can't step out for a minute; you can barely pause to scratch your ankle.” ~ Kelly Corrigan

"Yeah, that means all across the country, women in places like South Dakota or Missouri or even Texas will have the exact same abortion rights as women in Afghanistan under the Taliban." ~ Trevor Noah

Rebel Girl (Bikini Kill)

[One-of-a-kind hand-stitched embroidery works by Amy Tingle, with a line of one of Maya Stein's 10-line Tuesday poems touching on motherhood.]

Today was one of the best Mother's Days I've had in quite a while although, truthfully, they're all pretty amazing, especially since my daughter Sarah has become a mom; I get immense pleasure seeing her in action, parenting Colin with such patience as well as joy.  He is so much like her, and she is so much like me, and I am so much like my mom.  The nut definitely does not fall far from the tree.

Both my sons are in the restaurant business so, since it's one of their busiest holidays, they were of course unable to join us (and we will celebrate another time), but we invited Sarah and Colin over for a Pool Day, and I ordered in advance the Mimosa Starter Kit/Mother's Day Brunch Box from Einstein Bagels (no muss, no fuss, no bother), which my husband picked up:

Lest you worry about my dietary/nutritional choices, I had vegan cream cheese, sprinkled with Everything But the Bagel seasoning, topped with vegan smoked salmon (yes, there is such a thing!), and felt completely satisfied!

Long-story-short is that Colin is obsessed with wild animals, and I gave him a wildebeest figurine this morning, and he had more fun teasing us all:  "Is it a warthog?  Noooooo, it's a wildebeest!" he said, multiple times, with a twinkle in his eye.  Hilarious!

I gave Sarah a few items related to Schitt's Creek (which she and Rob got me watching a few months ago):  a Fold In the Cheese dishtowel, a sideways S necklace (like Alexis' A), and an Ew David tank top, which was running late and naturally arrived after they'd left.

Her present to me was promise of brunch/lunch at a new local farmer's market, with lots of vegan options, maybe even this next weekend.  My husband gave me a giftcard to Chico's (one of my favorite clothing stores, which I haven't stepped foot in in over a year), and will enjoy redeeming.

Yesterday afternoon I decided to watch Moxie on Netflix and, halfway through, texted everybody I know to encourage them to view it as well.  Excellent film, which reminded me of my younger protesting days (as opposed to my older protesting days, ha!), and also my friend M's daughter K (my son Rob's age), who used to publish a 'zine in high school, to which I subscribed.  Today's blog post song came from the movie, which reminded me that, although I've certainly made my share of mistakes in life, if there's one thing I can say with absolutely certainty, it's that I have always been and continue to be a good mom.  I take great pride in knowing that I have instilled in my children all the important values:  thoughtfulness, compassion, generosity, kindness, integrity, the importance of equality and social justice (and working toward it), passion, a love of music and language/books, creativity, and a great sense of humor.  [S]he who laughs, lasts... 😄

SONG:  Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill ("That girl, she holds her head up so high, I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah")

BOOK:  Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself by Lisa Marchiano

POEM(S):  What Children Say by Kate Baer

I can’t reach my cup, my water bottle,

the snack up on the shelf. I can’t do

it. I won’t do it. I would never do it

in a million years. You need to help

me. Help me faster. Do it the way

I asked you to. I don’t like pizza or

watermelon. I don’t like anything I

liked before. I do not want it. I do

not need it. I will never move up off

this floor. Do not help me. Do not

hold me. Do not sit down beside my

bed. I’m not sleeping. I’m not tired.

I’m too scared to fall asleep. You must

hold me. You must rock me. Do not

leave me all alone. I am thirsty. I am

hungry. I am too tired to put my toys

away. Do not be angry. Do not start

singing. Where is the butterfly I drew?

I’m still hungry. I’m still playing. Will

you leave me? Will you stay?

What Mothers Say by Kate Baer

I am tired. I am sleeping. I am heading

up to bed. Is it Tuesday? What’s tomorrow?

When’s the last I slept alone?

I am thinking. I am talking. Do you see

I’m on the phone? Bring the dishes, find

your blanket, put that book back on the

shelf. It is bedtime. It is rest time. You

need to go and brush again. I am working.

I am eating. This is why we bought you

toys. Go and play now, find your brother,

find elsewhere to make your ship. I am

angry, you’re not listening. Please stop

crying on the floor. It’s a school night.

Do your homework. Let me come and

scratch your back. I am listening. I can

hear you. Thanks for telling me the

truth. Let me closer, let me help you.

I am here now. Let me stay.

Stronger That You Know by Kate Baer

My friend’s young daughter tells her mother:

you’re stronger that you know.

We repeat this, even though it doesn’t make

sense. We say it to cheer each other up. We

say it, knowing how much harder it is: that vs.

than. One suggests it was always inside you.

The other suggests it’s better you’ve learned

the coin can flip either way.

We tell our daughters they can be anything.

We call them warrior, fierce, and brave

as if they arrive in war paint and heels

to fight off our old demons.

And when they suffer, which they do

we offer our consolations:

This is a part of it.

Take a deep breath.

Look at you kicking your legs.

Moon Song by Kate Baer

You are not an evergreen unchanged 

by the pitiless snow. You are not a photo, 

a brand, a character written for sex or 

house or show. You do not have to choose 

one or the other: a dream or a dreamer, the 

bird or the birder. You may be a woman of 

commotion and quiet. Magic and brain.

You can be a mother and a poet. A wife and 

a lover. You can dance on the graves you dug 

on Tuesday, pulling out the bones of yourself 

you began to miss. You can be the sun and the 

moon, the dance a victory song.

QUOTE:  "When a mother somewhere forgives herself for being human, earth exhales a little." ~ Breeze

In My Daughter's Eyes (Martina McBride)

Despite this crazy coronavirus, it was a lovely Mother's Day weekend, starting off Friday afternoon with a meet-up at the park in our old neighborhood, where we mostly watched Colin run around.  No wonder Sarah is so thin...  ;-)

The boys presented me with cards and flowers; Sarah brought a card, Parlour Vegan pastries, and a painted rock from Colin; and I gave her a bag o' goodies from Natural Life (dish towel and wine tumbler), in a Strong as a Mother tote.  We hung out for a few hours, and then all headed home.

Saturday was a lovely day by the pool, as I knew we were in for seven straight days of rain, and yesterday delivered on that promise.  I spent many hours on the balcony, enjoying the much-needed precipitation and the peace it brought, drinking coffee, reading, and eating cinnamon rolls Sarah and Colin dropped off (in a surprise hit-and-run).  I thought about taking a nap but never did, Chico ordered delivery from the Hollybrook restaurant, and we watched Bad Moms later in the evening (totally inappropriate and hilarious!).  Before that, though, at 5 p.m., I tuned into the wonderful online concert described below:

Inspired by Billy Bragg's recent Mother's Day video release for his song "Can't Be There Today," City Winery and Bragg are co-producing a special multi-artist Mother’s Day concert that will be broadcast on YouTube on May 10th, 2020 beginning at 5PM Eastern Time. 

100% of net ticket proceeds will be donated to the The United Nations Foundation fund addressing sexual and reproductive health and rights during the COVID-19 pandemic.

We've invited artists from the extended City Winery family to perform with Billy, Rosanne Cash, Mary Chapin Carpenter,Steve Earle, Shovels & Rope, Rufus Wainwright, Richard Thompson, The Indigo Girls, Jorma Kaukonen, Todd Snider,  KT Tunstall,  Loudon Wainwright, Amy Helm, Jospeh Arthur, Stella Donnelly, Andrew Bird, Fink, Joan Osborne, Hamilton Leithauser, Valerie June, The Mountain Goats.  With More to be Announced... WFUV's Rita Houston will host the event. Families around the world will be able to connect virtually through this shared experience, celebrating all mothers everywhere through music while supporting those in need.  

"The coronavirus pandemic is going to affect our lives in ways we've yet to grasp," says Bragg. "In the coming months, most of us will be forced to miss family gatherings, including Mother's Day which in the UK fell on the first weekend of isolation. My new song touches on the emotional cost of this crisis."

Click on this link to watch archived replay, and maybe donate something as well.  The music starts at the 3:50 mark.


All this to say, I feel very lucky and loved...  💖



SONG:  In My Daughter's Eyes by Martina McBride

BOOK:  What My Mother Gave Me: Thirty-one Women on the Gifts That Mattered Most by Elizabeth Benedict

POEM:  My Eighteen-Month-Old Daughter Talks to the Rain as the Amazon Burns by Dante Di Stefano

Lark of my house,
keep laughing.
—Miguel Hernández

this little lark says hi
to the rain—she calls
river as she slaps
the air with both wings—
she doesn’t know pine
from ash or cedar
from linden—she greets
drizzle & downpour
alike—she doesn’t
know iceberg from melt—
can’t say sea level
rise—glacial retreat—
doesn’t know wildfire—
greenhouse gas—carbon
tax or emission—
does not legislate
a fear she can’t yet
feel—only knows cats
& birds & small dogs
& the sway of some
tall trees make her squeal
with delight—it shakes
her tiny body—
this thrill of the live
electric sudden—
the taste of wild blue-
berries on her tongue—
the ache of thorn-prick
from blackberry bush—
oh dear girl—look here—
there’s so much to save—
moments—lady bugs—
laughter—trillium—
blue jays—arias—
horizon’s pink hue—
we gather lifetimes
on one small petal—
the river’s our friend—
the world: an atom—
daughter: another
name for: hope—rain—change
begins when you hail
the sky sun & wind
the verdure inside
your heart’s four chambers
even garter snakes
and unnamed insects
in the underbrush
as you would a love
that rivers: hi—hi

QUOTE:  "I do want to try to explain my evolving definition of the word Mother. I am starting to understand that the word works better for me as a verb than a noun. Mothering is a choice we make, like loving is a choice. We do not need to have given birth or to have signed adoption papers to Mother. To Mother, to me, means to nurture. To heal, to help grow, to give. And so anyone and everyone who is involved in the healing of the world is a Mother. Anyone who tends to a child, or friend, or stranger, or animal or garden is a Mother. Anyone who tends to Life is a Mother. Tomorrow is a celebration of all the healers and hopers and lovers and givers and tend-ers." ~ Glennon Doyle