Everybody Hurts (R.E.M.)

From Rob Brezsny's Astrology Newsletter
January 8, 2020:

"Play the game called "Tell me the story of your scars." It's best to do it with a skilled empath who is curious about your fate's riddles and skilled at helping you find redemption in your wounds.

"How did you get that blotch on your knee?" he or she might begin, and you describe the time in childhood when you fell on the sidewalk. Then maybe he or she would say, "Why do you always look so sad when you hear that song?"

And you'd narrate the tale of how it was playing when an old lover broke your heart. The questions and answers continue until you unveil the history of your hurts, both physical and psychic. Treat yourself to this game soon."


When I read this, I immediately thought of the scene in Jaws, as they regale each other, in a one-upmanship style, with show-and-tells of their scars.

Blogs are created safe spaces to share our pain, internal and external, as well as our pleasures.  All this to say that my sciatica has come back (two years after its first appearance in December 2017), and it is entirely my fault.  Not enough activity, too much sitting, lots of picking up of my 25-pound, 18-month-old grandson.  Retirement has its perks and drawbacks.

The last few weeks have found me in agony.  Mornings are always the worst, and I've been trying to focus on stretching before I get too far out of bed.  Shooting pains (electric shocks?) down the back of my legs are almost unbearable, but I know I can turn this around.  Had a massage last week with Karen, who should be canonized for her healing touch.  More stretching, more walking, a return to yoga, maybe even a few visits to the chiropractor (tomorrow?).

Knock on wood, I have been very lucky to have no/limited health problems, when I am surrounded by so many who have debilitating issues or illnesses. Tonight I will pop an Aleve, descend into a coma-like sleep, and awake tomorrow with a renewed desire to beat this, and come back stronger than before.


SONG:  Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.

BOOK:  Why We Hurt: The Natural History of Pain Hardcover by Frank T. Vertosick Jr.

POEM:  Praise the Rain by Joy Harjo

Praise the rain; the seagull dive
The curl of plant, the raven talk—
Praise the hurt, the house slack
The stand of trees, the dignity—
Praise the dark, the moon cradle
The sky fall, the bear sleep—
Praise the mist, the warrior name
The earth eclipse, the fired leap—
Praise the backwards, upward sky
The baby cry, the spirit food—
Praise canoe, the fish rush
The hole for frog, the upside-down—
Praise the day, the cloud cup
The mind flat, forget it all—

Praise crazy. Praise sad.
Praise the path on which we're led.
Praise the roads on earth and water.
Praise the eater and the eaten.
Praise beginnings; praise the end.
Praise the song and praise the singer.

Praise the rain; it brings more rain.
Praise the rain; it brings more rain.

QUOTE:  "Strength doesn't mean an absence of pain." ~ Aja Naomi King

Shiny Happy People (R.E.M.)

From Thursday's TUT (Totally Unique Thoughts):

Simply imagine happiness, Susan, your own happiness. Feel the smile stretching across your face, notice the lightness in your step, hear the sparkle in your voice, and all things, material and spiritual, will dance to the beat of your drums.

Happy Thursday! The Universe

You smiled didn't you, Susan? Just be careful with those sparkles so close to the drums.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've been working on this blog entry for days, but keep getting distracted (look, something shiny!) - I'm still in "full plate" mode, feeling as if I'm doing lots of things poorly.

However, one thing I *do* excel at is The Power of Positive Thinking - when a friend sent me the above video, I knew it was the jumping-off place for a future post (and here we are) - wish I had the time/energy to add more of my own words... but I'll just ask you to read between the lines... :-)

P.S. SMM here, here, here, here and here...

SONG: Shiny Happy People by R.E.M.

BOOK: Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out by Marci Shimoff

POEM: The Guest House by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

QUOTE(S): " A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." ~ Hugh Downs

"I have found that if you love life, life will love you back." ~ Arthur Rubinstein

"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "So it is." "And freezing." "Is it?" "Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately." ~ A.A. Milne

You Are the Everything (R.E.M.)

It's been a very strange last five days, all of which left me with there-but-for-the-grace-of-god syndrome - despite my recent job loss, I feel pretty lucky right about now...

The father of one of my daughter's best friends lost his two-year battle with cancer last week... and the wake/service was Thursday night - I could not begin to imagine their grief... and their attempt to return to normalcy. I sobbed through it all, my daughter and I holding hands as our hearts broke with each mention of his name, each glance at the family, each memory unfolding from friends' stories - the sweet spot: he lived to see his "little girl" get married a month ago, and we are all convinced he allowed himself to let go soon afterwards...

An acquaintance from church was hit by a car Friday night... and I ended up being the one the paramedics called as they were transporting her to the hospital - I phoned our minister and another friend, who met her there, and they stayed with her overnight until she was released the next morning. I visited the next day, bringing a vat of homemade chicken soup (among other food items)... and doing a bit of cleaning and organizing (more on this in my next post) in her apartment Sunday so she could navigate through the rooms/hallways with her crutches - I also took her to the doctor yesterday, who recommended surgery (which will happen Friday) on her fractured tibia. Long-story-short (too late!, as Nance would say) is that I'm exhausted from caregiving...

On the brighter side, I walked 4 days last week, skipped Friday through Monday (due to the above-mentioned circumstances), and was back out today - I'm addicted again (just hit a vein, baby!). My trek was made even more delightful by the cooler temps (by South Florida standards) - add to that the ssstttrrreeetttccchhhing I've been doing... plus walking the dog (Rocky Raccoon) afterwards... and I'm feeling very proud of my "feed the soul" regimen...

I've also received compliments on my body changes, making me extra-careful not to fall into my typical self-sabotage MO ("oh, people are telling me I look great, therefore I can stop") - rather, I'm just setting incremental goals, knowing that mid-March will be a year since I rededicated to taking better care of myself (with many blips/traps/stumbles along the way... :-)

P.S. Two more SMM posts over the weekend can be found here... and here...

SONG: You Are the Everything by R.E.M.

BOOK: Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons

POEM: Sometimes by David Budbill

Sometimes when day after day we have cloudless blue skies,

warm temperatures, colorful trees and brilliant sun, when

it seems like all this will go on forever,

when I harvest vegetables from the garden all day,

then drink tea and doze in the late afternoon sun,

and in the evening one night make pickled beets

and green tomato chutney, the next red tomato chutney,

and the day after that pick the fruits of my arbor

and make grape jam,

when we walk in the woods every evening over fallen leaves,

through yellow light, when nights are cool, and days warm,

when I am so happy I am afraid I might explode or disappear

or somehow be taken away from all this,

at those times when I feel so happy, so good, so alive, so in love

with the world, with my own sensuous, beautiful life, suddenly

I think about all the suffering and pain in the world, the agony

and dying. I think about all those people being tortured, right

now,

in my name. But I still feel happy and good, alive and in love with

the world and with my lucky, guilty, sensuous, beautiful life

because,

I know in the next minute or tomorrow all this may be

taken from me, and therefore I've got to say, right now,

what I feel and know and see, I've got to say, right now,

how beautiful and sweet this world can be.

QUOTE: "The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." ~ Allan K. Chalmers

Nightswimming (R.E.M.)

SONG: Nightswimming by R.E.M.

BOOK: Our Town: A Play in Three Acts by Thornton Wilder

POEM: The Dreams of the Old by Timothy J. Nolan

So they are around our table—my mother,

my father, an uncle—and we begin to talk

about our dreams—with some urgency—

as if our dreams could pinpoint our psychic

dangers—our unrealized goals—our

ordinary fear of death and the future.

My mother talks about her dreams of flying

over the little town where she grew up—

over the old Opera House—down Main Street—

with all the people she knew below her—

then towards the gently flowing river—

that seemed to flow into the sunset—

toward which she soared—she lingered

with us on that image—as if she had said

enough—then—my uncle talked about

his recurring dream—he's going to be

in a play—but no one's bothered

to rehearse the scenes—he's standing

in the wings waiting to go on—he doesn't

know what he will say—all through this

my father is silent—he is closest to death—

we all know this—we forgive him his silence—

his silence—has his presence—as in a dream.

QUOTE: "Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." ~ Carl Jung