[Don't] Stand By Me (a parody by The Rock Bottom Remainders)

[Leave it to Melanie to send me the perfect meme for today's post.  Thanks and love, MH!]


From the New York Times article, A Viral Epidemic Splintering into Deadly Pieces by Donald McNeil:  "Overall, the scientists conveyed a pervasive sense of sadness and exhaustion. Where once there was defiance, and then a growing sense of dread, now there seems to be sorrow and frustration, a feeling that so many funerals never had to happen and that nothing is going well. The United States is a wounded giant, while much of Europe, which was hit first, is recovering and reopening — although not to us."

I can certainly relate, as do other friends I've spoken to recently.  Some are upping their mood-stabilizing medication, some are arguing with strangers on the Internet, some are numbing their emotions with alcohol and sleep.  Netflix and Hulu are a double-edged sword.  Retail therapy, whether Amazon Prime or Instacart groceries at the click of a few buttons, is entirely too easy. The first month or two was a challenge, but fun:  Stay upbeat, healthy, and moving... and we all mostly did.  Now it's just same-old same-old, with massive amounts of worry thrown in, as we mainline (or ignore) the news, watch the numbers climb, and try to avoid situations that bring us closer to a premature death.  The routine I had crafted for myself has gone by the proverbial wayside.  Having lost my structure, the days pendulum between interminable and warp speed.  I am reading like a motherf*ker.  Radical self-care and walking, not so much.  My sciatica is still a problem, and I don't seem to care, treating only the symptoms and not the cause.  I need to channel my inner Cher in Moonstruck:  "Snap out of it!".

The song/video below came along at the perfect time!  You would have to be living under a rock to not know who the Rock Bottom Remainders are.  If you didn't already, welcome to the sunshine!  I've been lucky enough to see them twice, both times at the Miami Book Fair.  They are known for self-admitted minimal talent, a love for rock and roll, and maximum hilarity.  You can always count on Wild Thing, G-L-O-R-I-A, and Amy Tan's dominatrix persona in These Boots are Made for Walkin'.   To quote the B-52s, Dance This Mess Around... :-)

NR (Now Reading, a new feature):  Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson (finished it last night.  5 stars!!!)



SONG:  [Don't] Stand By Me by The Rock Bottom Remainders (a parody) (thanks to MaryL for the heads-up!)

BOOK:  Mid-life Confidential: The Rock Bottom Remainders Tour America with Three Chords and an Attitude by Stephen King, Amy Tan, Roy Blount, Ridley Pearson, Dave Barry, Barbara Kingsolver, Al Kooper, Robert Fulghum, Kathi Goldmark, Dave Marsh  (I actually own this book.  Is it really selling for $920.99?!?)

POEM:  Resume Redone (with apologies to Dorothy Parker) by Ellen Meister

TV bores you;
The web is a fright;
Your spouse ignores you;
And hobbies are trite.
Films are offensive;
Gardens weed;
Shopping's expensive;
You might as well read.

QUOTE:  "Scientists have found that one dog year does not equal seven human years.  In fact, the only thing that equals seven human years is 2020." ~ Magnolia Animal Clinic

Cover Me (Robin Batteau)

When last we left our She-ra, a job termination had just gone into effect - cue music for emotions ranging from shock to sorrow to numb... to relief. I allowed myself a good wallow yesterday, we had a family dinner last night (I was feeling too fragile to attend my book club meeting) during which we circled the wagons and I made a wry reference (although the topic is certainly serious) to the fact I'd just read an article that more middle-aged white women were committing suicide these days...

After a good night's sleep... today I had a long-overdue haircut, got the dog to the groomers and am closer to negotiating resolution of our plumbing issues - to quote Dorothy Parker: might as well live :-)

Although it's raining outside, shining prevails - thanks to my dear friends for phone calls, e-mails and blog comments. My support system overfloweth and I am humbled - my husband and I have talked and, at this point, I'll be using November and December to prioritize projects in the house (plus we always take a week around the holidays to visit relatives in Georgia and South Carolina). January I'll begin searching... and I can honestly say I am usually in the right place at the right time - in the meantime, we'll find ways to sacrifice without deprivation.

I also have to share that, in the midst of my stress and worries, I received some perfectly-timed validation... from the Blogosphere, of all places... in the form of an invitation to write a guest post on another blog... music-related (imagine that!) - thanks to Boyhowdy for the opportunity to re-focus my energies for a while, as well as engage in a larger community with similar interests... :-)

SONG: Cover Me by Robin Batteau (I can't find the lyrics but a song sample can be found here - scroll down to Track 7 on Disc 2)

BOOK: Cover to Cover by D.M. Brown

POEM: Resume' by Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp;
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

QUOTE: "God has no power over the past except to cover it with oblivion." ~ Pliny the Elder

To Make a Long Story Short (Willie Nelson)

I first heard of the Six-Word Story when a friend of mine who's on Flickr tagged one of his photos with the term... and it led me to finding out about an entire category of such pictures/descriptions that qualify:

Ernest Hemingway was once prodded to compose a complete story in six words. His answer, personally felt to be his best prose ever, was "For sale: baby shoes, never used." Some people say it was to settle a bar bet. Others say it was a personal challenge directed at other famous authors.

Then I heard about the new book (below) dedicated to the phenomenon - "I was hooked. Gotta love Google!".

Chuck Klosterman: "Nobody cared, then they did. Why?"

Adam Schlesinger: "We still don't hear a single."

Keith Knight: "I was a Michael Jackson impersonator."

Hannah Davies: "Cursed with cancer. Blessed by friends."

Zak Nelson: "I still make coffee for two."

Scott Birch: "Most successful accomplishments based on spite."

Rip Riley: "No wife. No kids. No problems."

Amy Sedaris: "Mushrooms. Clowns. Wands. Five. Wig. Thatched."

Me: "Who knew? so many? so creative?"

And even more here...

SONG: To Make a Long Story Short by Willie Nelson

BOOK: Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure by Larry Smith, Rachel Fershleiser (Editors)

POEM: Curriculum Vitae by Lisel Mueller

1) I was born in a Free City, near the North Sea.

2) In the year of my birth, money was shredded into
confetti. A loaf of bread cost a million marks. Of
course I do not remember this.

3) Parents and grandparents hovered around me. The
world I lived in had a soft voice and no claws.

4) A cornucopia filled with treats took me into a building
with bells. A wide-bosomed teacher took me in.

5) At home the bookshelves connected heaven and earth.

6) On Sundays the city child waded through pinecones
and primrose marshes, a short train ride away.

7) My country was struck by history more deadly than
earthquakes or hurricanes.

8) My father was busy eluding the monsters. My mother
told me the walls had ears. I learned the burden of secrets.

9) I moved into the too bright days, the too dark nights
of adolescence.

10) Two parents, two daughters, we followed the sun
and the moon across the ocean. My grandparents stayed
behind in darkness.

11) In the new language everyone spoke too fast. Eventually
I caught up with them.

12) When I met you, the new language became the language
of love.

13) The death of the mother hurt the daughter into poetry.
The daughter became a mother of daughters.

14) Ordinary life: the plenty and thick of it. Knots tying
threads to everywhere. The past pushed away, the future left
unimagined for the sake of the glorious, difficult, passionate
present.

15) Years and years of this.

16) The children no longer children. An old man's pain, an
old man's loneliness.

17) And then my father too disappeared.

18) I tried to go home again. I stood at the door to my
childhood, but it was closed to the public.

19) One day, on a crowded elevator, everyone's face was younger
than mine.

20) So far, so good. The brilliant days and nights are
breathless in their hurry. We follow, you and I.

QUOTE: "Brevity is the soul of lingerie." ~ Dorothy Parker

The Christmas Song (Dave Matthews)

SONG: The Christmas Song by Dave Matthews

BOOK: Meet Him at the Manger: Discovering the Heart of Christmas by D. Stuart Briscoe, Jill Briscoe

POEM: The Maid-Servant at the Inn by Dorothy Parker

"It's queer," she said; "I see the light

As plain as I beheld it then,

All silver-like and calm and bright ---

We've not had stars like that again!

"And she was such a gentle thing

To birth a baby in the cold.

The barn was dark and frightening ---

This new one's better than the old.

"I mind my eyes were full of tears,

For I was young, and quick distressed

But she was less than me in years

That held a son against her breast.

"I never saw a sweeter child ---

The little one, the darling one! ---

I mind I told her, when he smiled

You'd know he was his mother's son.

"It's queer that I should see them so ---

The time they came to Bethlehem

Was more than thirty years ago;

I've prayed that all is well with them."

QUOTE: "Fail not to call to mind, in the course of the twenty-fifth of this month, that the Divinest Heart that ever walked the earth was born on that day; and then smile and enjoy yourselves for the rest of it; for mirth is also of Heaven's making." ~ Leigh Hunt

August (Edie Carey)

In Brazil, folk superstition associates bad luck to August, with the proverb "Agosto, o mês do desgosto" or "mês do cachorro louco" ("August, the month of misfortune" or "month of the crazy dog") being often heard - good thing it's come to an end, eh?...

Actually, it's been a lovely 31 days, and not just because it's my birth month - a few goodbyes, some hellos, anniversaries of tragedies, celebrations of life, rain, drought, clouds, stars, heartbreak, heartfull - in other words, all the wonderful dichotomies/paradoxes we are meant to experience in our time on this planet. As summer winds down, fall awaits - of course, here in South Florida, changes of season are mostly metaphorical anyway... :-)

SONG: August by Edie Carey

BOOK: August by Judith Rossner

POEM: August by Dorothy Parker

When my eyes are weeds,
And my lips are petals, spinning
Down the wind that has beginning
Where the crumpled beeches start
In a fringe of salty reeds;
When my arms are elder-bushes,
And the rangy lilac pushes
Upward, upward through my heart;

Summer, do your worst!
Light your tinsel moon, and call on
Your performing stars to fall on
Headlong through your paper sky;
Nevermore shall I be cursed
By a flushed and amorous slattern,
With her dusty laces' pattern
Trailing, as she straggles by.

QUOTE: "Whilst August yet wears her golden crown, ripening fields lush-bright with promise; summer waxes long, then wanes, quietly passing her fading green glory on to riotous Autumn." ~ Michelle L. Thieme

Long Year (Todd Snider)

J's death (indirectly caused by long-term issues of excess and neglect) has me re-examining the history of alcoholism in my family - my father "inherited" it from his father and, for years, I worried it would trickle down to me. In January 2003 I made the conscious decision to quit drinking - I didn't set a time frame, but figured I'd just take it, to use the AA vernacular, one day at a time. I kept expecting it to be more of a sacrifice, but it wasn't - I found I was still fun to be around, and could continue to have a good time, without artificial stimulants. When a year had gone by, I realized I was in no danger of addiction and began drinking again - you can't imagine what a relief it was to know I had power and control over the substance.

[ From The Writer's Almanac: June 10 was the anniversary of the establishment of Alcoholics Anonymous (1935), in Akron, Ohio. It was founded by a stockbroker named Bill Wilson and a surgeon, Bob Smith, who found that the best way to keep from drinking was to spend time with other people who were trying to keep from drinking. Between the two of them, they developed the main traditions of AA: anonymity, confession and mutual support. Alcoholics Anonymous grew rapidly in the '40s and '50s, but Bill Wilson refused to appear on the cover of Time and wouldn't accept an honorary degree from Yale because he believed in anonymity... and he stuck with it to the end. ]

P.S. We just heard from J's partner, A - there is to be a memorial celebration at 6:00 p.m. this evening... a bit last-minute, but I intend to be there...

SONG: Long Year by Todd Snider

BOOK: First Year Sobriety: When All That Changes Is Everything by Guy Kettelhack

POEM: Gray's First Sober Year by William Notter

This new life is better
than a dozen beer-joint romances
or a hundred drunks at fishing camp.
My habit now is not drinking,
and waking up where I belong.
I can see colors again,
and I don't feel like a turd in the punchbowl
whenever I go around people.

I'll mow the weeds for Sharon
and almost enjoy it. She's even given up
checking my breath whenever I come home.
I went shopping for our anniversary
and wound up crying in the store,
but not the kind of tears you cry
when your wife catches you lying in the shed
with your pistol jabbed up in your mouth
and vodka running out your nose.

The only thing she could think to do
was check me into another detox,
and this time it finally took.
This year has made me different—
vodka could never do that for long.
Some days when I wake up early
and listen to Sharon lying there breathing,
it feels like somebody snuck in while we slept
and changed our sheets.

QUOTE: "I love to drink a martini, two at the very most, three I'm under the table, four I'm under the host." ~ Dorothy Parker

Tattoo (Sons of the Never Wrong)

I got a tattoo for my 40th birthday (soon to be 13 years ago) - it's of two beautiful hibiscus blossoms, one pink and the other purple, with green leaves, yellow centers and pistils and two black curliques swirling lengthwise under and over the flowers (to represent our then-recent move to Florida). It's about three inches long, top to bottom, just barely above my left ankle bone, very pretty and tastefully done - it was something I always said I'd do before I turned 40, and I haven't regretted it yet...

I swore I'd never have more than one but, it is said tattoos are an addiction, and four years ago I got another... a heart composed of a bass clef and a treble clef (representing my love of music) - the location: over my heart... <3

When people asked what I would do if my children ever wanted one, implying that I was setting a bad example, my standard reply was, "I'll tell them to do what I did and wait until they're 40!" - I'm now planning a third inking when the time is right... :-)

[ Added 6/22/07 - I love Mark Morford! ]

SONG: Tattoo by Sons of the Never Wrong

BOOK: Dorothy Parker's Elbow: Tattoos on Writers, Writers on Tattoos by Kim Addonizio and Cheryl Dumesnil

POEM: To the Engraver of My Skin by Mark Doty

I understand the pact is mortal,
agree to bear this permanence.

I contract with limitation; I say no
and no then yes to you, and sign

--here, on the dotted line--
for whatever comes, I do: our time,

our outline, the filling-in of our details
(it's density that hurts, always,

not the original scheme). I'm here
for revision, discoloration; here to fade

and last, ineradicable, blue. Write me!
This ink lasts longer than I do.

QUOTE: "When the designs are chosen with care, tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul." ~ Michelle Delio