I Need a Doctor (The Nields)

Everything's fine (as far as I know).  Just an update that I went in for a *routine* check-up this past Wednesday, October 14.

After our lovely beach getaway, Sarah ("chocolate and rainboots" indeed... 💖) said that the best birthday present I could give her would be a doctor's appointment, and she actually made one for me (guess she figured if it worked for the chiropractor, she could do it for my GP!).  Shamefacedly, I admit that my last time going in was October 2017 (three years ago).  

I have no reason to believe my health is anything other than stellar (being vegan helps, right?), but there was bloodwork and an EKG and urine specimens (oh my!), therefore fasting.  Same old, same old, you know?  Also had a flu shot while I was there.

She and I talked a lot about self-care during the pandemic, emotional as well as physical.  My blood pressure skewed high the first few times (I have "white coat syndrome", not to mention the fact I was out in public, as I rarely leave the condo complex), then came down a bit the third and fourth tries.  I told her that I *really* didn't want to start on any medication, and asked her if I could have another month to lower it through diet and exercise, and she agreed.  (Aside:  my walking streak is in the double digits:  Day 11!!!)

She also wrote "prescriptions" for a bone density test, a mammogram, and a colonoscopy (can't wait to be x-rayed, smushed, and rectally-violated... 😃 )

Wednesday of next week, she and I will have a tele-visit to discuss test results, as well as my one-month follow-up visit.  I feel good about being back on track with my health, and taking even *better* care of myself... 💓

P.S.  Not as many check-ins with friends as last week, but always a treat:  Monday pool day with Nancy, weekly Tuesday Zoom call with Nancy and Judi, visit with Eileen yesterday afternoon, and phone chat with RobbyG starting in a few minutes!

NR:  A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold

SONG:  I Need a Doctor by The Nields

BOOK:  I Wrote This for You by Iain S. Thomas

POEM(S):  The Metronome Tree by Iain S. Thomas

Forget about your lists, and do what you can because that's all you can do. 

Phone up the people you miss and tell them you love them. 

Hug those close to you as hard as you can. 

Because you are always only a drunk driver's stupidity, a nervous shopkeeper's mistake, a doctor's best attempts, and an old age away from forever.

“B” (If I Should Have a Daughter) by Sarah Kay

If I should have a daughter, instead of mom, she’s going to call me Point B,

because that way she knows that no matter what happens,

at least she can always find her way to me.

And I am going to paint the Solar Systems on the backs of her hands,

so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say ‘Oh, I know that like the back of my hand’

And she’s going to learn that this life will hit you,

hard,

in the face,

wait for you to get back up, just so it can kick you in the stomach

but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

There is hurt, fear that cannot be fixed by band aids or poetry

so the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn’t coming

I’ll make sure she knows she does not have to wear the cape all by herself

because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers,

your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal.

Believe me, I’ve tried

And baby, I’ll tell her, don’t keep your nose up in the air like that

I know that trick, I’ve done it a million times

You’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail

back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire

to see if you can save him.

Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him

But I know she will anyway, so instead, I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate

and rainboots nearby.

Because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix.

Ok, there’s a few heartbreaks that chocolate can’t fix,

but that’s what the rainboots are for because rain will

wash away everything if you let it.

I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass bottomed boat

To look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a human mind

Because that’s the way my mom taught me.

That there’ll be days like this

that there’s be days like this my mama said

When you open your hands to catch, and wind up with only blisters and bruises.

When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly

And the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape

When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment

and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you

because there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop

kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it is sent away.

You will put the win in winsome … lose some

You will put the star in starting over and over.

And no matter how many landmines erupt in a minute

be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale from one to overtrusting, I am pretty damn naive.

But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar.

It can crumble so easily.

But don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

Baby, I’ll tell her, remember your mama is a worrier

and your papa is a warrior.

And you’re the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.

Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and

always apologize when you’ve done something wrong

but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining,

your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing.

And when they finally hand you a heartache,

when they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street corners

of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that

they

really ought to meet your mother.

QUOTE:  "The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman." ~ Jonathan Swift

May Day Cafe (The Nields)

Today's blogpost is brought to you by the month of May and dedicated to the Letter A (you know who you are!) - wishing much love and light on the journey from surviving to thriving... :-)

The name for the month of May has been believed to derive from Maia, who was revered as the Roman Goddess of Springtime, Growth and Increase, and the mother of Mercury, the winged messenger of the Gods. Yet this is disputed as before these deities featured in mythology the name Maius or Magius, taken from the root Mag, meaning the growing month or shooting month was used. - May, Mystical World Wide Web

SONG: May Day Cafe by The Nields

BOOK: On The Morn Of Mayfest by Erica Silverman, Marla Frazee (Illustrator)

POEM: May Day by Phillis Levin

I've decided to waste my life again,

Like I used to: get drunk on

The light in the leaves, find a wall

Against which something can happen,

Whatever may have happened

Long ago—let a bullet hole echoing

The will of an executioner, a crevice

In which a love note was hidden,

Be a cell where a struggling tendril

Utters a few spare syllables at dawn.

I've decided to waste my life

In a new way, to forget whoever

Touched a hair on my head, because

It doesn't matter what came to pass,

Only that it passed, because we repeat

Ourselves, we repeat ourselves.

I've decided to walk a long way

Out of the way, to allow something

Dreaded to waken for no good reason,

Let it go without saying,

Let it go as it will to the place

It will go without saying: a wall

Against which a body was pressed

For no good reason, other than this.

QUOTE: "The world's favorite season is the spring. All things seem possible in May." ~ Edwin Way Teale

One Hundred Names (The Nields)

The following is for Patty, whose infant granddaughter is hospitalized with a serious illness - through M's blog, she posted a few comments on my musings and I was compelled to investigate her Morning Ramble/ Daily Wanderer, finding a fascinating, inspiring, spiritual woman who's a wonderful writer and a freethinker. I'm convinced it's more about the questions than the answers - Patty honors the fact there is more than one path, literally and metaphorically, on the journey, and she seems to be traveling hers with great intent...

I am burning my purple candles, sending skyward thoughts and holding the vision for Mei-Ling's swift and full recovery - amen and blessed be... <3

Re: Prayer Flags, from the Daily Om:

"For centuries, humans from a diverse range of cultures have inscribed the whisperings of their souls onto pieces of cloth that served as mediators between the heart and the heavens. These prayer flags shared their messages of peace, wisdom, healing and love with the wind, which then carried their energy and their intent across the world. The flags are designed to inspire reflection, promote focused thought and spread a message of wellness amongst all beings. Displayed indoors, these flags act as a beacon of calm. When hung outdoors, they provide a means of sharing prayers with the world. If you choose to place your flags outside, as time passes the breath of Mother Nature will send a unique message to all beings while weathering the physical substance of the flags themselves. Tibetan Buddhists regard prayer flags as a tool that allows people to carry their compassion to the four directions. Even if you may be the only one to bask in the beauty of your flags, their meaning will travel outward, bringing blessings to the world."

SONG: One Hundred Names by The Nields

BOOK: One Mountain, Many Paths: Common Sense for the Spiritual Traveler by Dr. Patrick Swift

POEM: Psalm by Jonah Winter

Emptying the trash,
going to sleep at night,
just daring to speak
in any language to anyone:
Our prayers are answered,
even if the words we say
are just dreamt-of
admissions of love to strangers,
unsent letters
shoved away, forgotten, at dawn,
like street lights turned off
as the sky begins to gray
above the black fields--
all of this is being written down somewhere.
See. Even that ladder leaning up against the barn
wants to make you feel better.
See how easily the dew collects on its white slats,
the way the morning hardly breathes?
See that man who drinks himself to sleep,
how his face is pressed against the kitchen table--
see how the light from his kitchen shines through the window
of the old farmhouse?
Somebody sees that light.

QUOTE: "May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness. May all beings be free from sorrow and the causes of sorrow. May all never be separated from the sacred happiness which is sorrowless. May all live in equanimity, without attachment or aversion, believing in the equality of all that lives." ~ Buddhist "all-purpose" prayer

The Losing Game (Cosy Sheridan)

I shared the following with a friend yesterday:

We all know weight loss is no big secret: eat less, exercise more, voi-f*cking-la! - however, I have had no success with my efforts of the last few years, which has me even more frustrated. I keep saying I want my body back... but I'm not being pro-active enough to make it happen - I must finally take responsibility for the fact I'm an emotional eater... whether things are good or bad, I tend to celebrate my victories or drown my sorrows with food and drink.

It's all so interconnected I can't figure out how to unravel one without pulling the thread of another - then again, maybe that's the trick/key. So... I'm just going to try to concentrate on the word HEALTHY in *all* my life choices (be they meals, lifestyle habits or interpersonal relationships) - if it's not good for me, it doesn't belong in my mouth... :-)

Processed, no - natural, yes. Sedentary, no - active, yes. Hurtful words, no - positive actions, yes. Burning the candle at both ends, no - finding moderation/balance, yes. I will make a point to *ask* myself, with intention, if what I'm about to eat/do/say will delay or further my goal of health - I've already designated a signal to myself to associate with feelings of hunger/emptiness/restlessness... so I can realign my focus and keep on track.

It's *okay* to be hungry, in all senses of the word - what an epiphany...

SONG: The Losing Game by Cosy Sheridan

BOOK: Appetites: On the Search for True Nourishment by Geneen Roth

POEM: Barbie Poem by Nerissa Nields

I think that I shall never see
A woman as lovely as Barbie
Barbie, with her ski jump nose
Standing tall on tiny toes
Impossible boobs that will not droop
To conquer Ken, she need not stoop
If she were mortal, she would be
Six foot five and a hundred and three
She's so tall, I could not feel shorter
Small wonder I have an eating disorder
She sleeps in her camper next to my bed
With visions of traveling filling her head
She wishes she could sing like me
But she can't
Her mouth is painted on
And her eyes won't shut
And she never bleeds
And she never cuts
And she cannot read or count or cry
And she'll never age
And she'll never die
And I think that I don't want to be
Staring straight ahead for all eternity

QUOTE: "Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours." ~ Swedish Proverb