I Am a Mother (Friction Farm)

This was scheduled to be an entirely different post, but then... another school shooting a few days ago.  I just told a friend that I had ramped up from Angry and Sad to Furious and Bereft.  So many deep and layered feelings but, for right now, I defer to the statement released by The Caring Community (my loving, gardening, helping family of choice), who always know exactly what to say:

"We are deeply saddened today by the news of the latest school shooting, this time at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas.  The Caring Community was founded to serve teachers as a result of the Parkland tragedy, and every teacher and family in South Florida will be feeling the echoes, reliving the pain.  Our hearts are heavy as well as broken to see these things happen over and over. We can only do what we can do to make a difference. Some things are out of our control.

The unimaginable pain of 21 families, the heartbreak and despair of parents and teachers everywhere reverberates loudly in our community. It is hard to see beyond the horror, to imagine a day when school shootings will never happen again. Rage, hopelessness, and fear are some responses we might feel to yet another tragedy in our schools.  We just want to tell our community, and most especially our teachers and school staff, that we love them. We hope you lean on each other, that you reach out to your amazing EAP (Employee Assistance Program) if you are feeling overwhelmed by it all and that you know that, although you've probably never met any of us, we deeply honor the service you give to our children and our community. We hold onto the hope that this must be the very last time that communities suffer violence like this in any school, anywhere.

No child should ever be fearful of going to school nor should any parent or caregiver fear dropping their child off to school. Our teachers everywhere are under a great deal of stress; no one ever thought that teaching children and young adults everyday would be putting their lives on the line. And yet, we still can't get the gun reform we need or the mental health help for those who desperately need it. How many more lives do we have to lose?"

Oh, yeah... and to paraphrase an all-too-often resurfacing meme:  F*ck Thoughts and Prayers; we need Policy and Change... ✊

SONG:  I Am a Mother by Friction Farm

BOOK:  Trigger Points: Inside the Mission to Stop Mass Shootings in America by Mark Follman

POEM(S):  Hymn for the Hurting by Amanda Gorman 

Everything hurts,
Our hearts shadowed and strange,
Minds made muddied and mute.
We carry tragedy, terrifying and true.
And yet none of it is new;
We knew it as home,
As horror,
As heritage.
Even our children
Cannot be children,
Cannot be.

Everything hurts.
It’s a hard time to be alive,
And even harder to stay that way.
We’re burdened to live out these days,
While at the same time, blessed to outlive them.

This alarm is how we know
We must be altered —
That we must differ or die,
That we must triumph or try.
Thus while hate cannot be terminated,
It can be transformed
Into a love that lets us live.

May we not just grieve, but give:
May we not just ache, but act;
May our signed right to bear arms
Never blind our sight from shared harm;
May we choose our children over chaos.
May another innocent never be lost.

Maybe everything hurts,
Our hearts shadowed & strange.
But only when everything hurts
May everything change.

America Is a Gun by Brian Bilston

England is a cup of tea.

France, a wheel of ripened brie.

Greece, a short, squat olive tree.

America is a gun.

Brazil is a football on the sand.

Argentina, Maradona’s hand.

Germany, an oompah band.

America is a gun.

Holland is a wooden shoe.

Hungary, a goulash stew.

Australia, a kangaroo.

America is a gun.

Japan is a thermal spring.

Scotland is a highland fling.

Oh, better to be anything

than America as a gun.

Sorrow by Tim Seibles 

It's not the same

as sadness, though sorrow

has sadness in it---the way {lost}

holds losing: you can see it

in women's eyes when they laugh

and in the way men lean

over their food: after awhile,

we know nearly every love

won't go as it should,

and we know that knowing

cannot make us glad: {knowledge}

stairway to nowhere---we want

the world we cannot have,

and every day the feeling moves

between us, but we try

not to complain and almost

never fall down and cry.

QUOTE(S):  “The time for us to stop mass shootings in this country is right now, right here, today." ~ Beto O'Rourke

“The only thing that can stop a bad politician with a vote is a good citizen with a vote.” ~ Jocelyn Benson, Michigan Secretary of State

Amendment (Ani DiFranco)

Yeah, the leaked Supreme Court decision is bullsh*t, an insane power and control move, and they should all be ashamed of themselves.  I have faith that Roe v. Wade (a Constitutional right we've had for 50 years) will not be overturned.  I'm just Pollyanna-ish enough to think that, if 70% of the population believes in the right to choose, it can not, and will not, be taken away from us.  I refuse to imagine a world resembling The Handmaid's Tale.

In the meantime, I'm remembering reading an article decades ago (late-60s/early-70s) about The Jane Collective, and fearing yet feeling we may need to be prepared to resurrect it nationwide, just in case.  We worked too hard, we won't give up, and we won't go back.

Sunday is Mother's Day, and I am incredibly lucky to be able to say that all three of my children were *chosen*, because I had that luxury.  Every woman deserves a choice as to when, or if, they become mothers.

Backstory: I wrote last Friday about attending a livestream for Anna Quindlen's new book (Write for Your Life) a few weeks ago, and Kelly Corrigan was the moderator. I had never heard of KC, and was instantly captivated by her engaging personality, her fluidity of language, and her insightful questions. She mentioned being an author herself which, of course as soon as the virtual event ended, I had to google. I put all of her books on my reserve list at the library and, when I realized Glitter and Glue was about the mother-daughter relationship, I bought a copy for my daughter for the upcoming Mother's Day... and of course I had to read it first... 💞

It is indeed Feel Good Friday and, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten/enlighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

~ The 29 Best Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gifts:  Sure, it happens every year on the second Sunday in May. And, sure, every Rite Aid in the country has been teeming with cards, warning you about its impending occurrence. But, hey, we get it: Sometimes Mother’s Day sneaks up and finds us unprepared.

~  Otters:  Just a mom and her pup... 💜

~ Transcending: Words on Women and Strength:  Author Kelly Corrigan penned this moving essay about women's remarkable capacity to support each other, to laugh together, and to endure.

~ Anne Lamott:  Here is the annual Mother’s Day post, ONLY for those of you who dread the holiday, dread having strangers, cashiers & waiters exclaim cheerfully, mindlessly, “Happy Mother’s Day!” when it is a day that, for whatever reasons, makes you feel deeply sad.

~ Calm Mom Balm:  A soothing balm for those who nurture, made with flowers!

SONG:  Amendment by Ani DiFranco

BOOK(S):  Glitter and Glue... and Lift, both by Kelly Corrigan

POEM:  Right to Life by Marge Piercy

A woman is not a pear tree

thrusting her fruit into mindless fecundity

into the world. Even pear trees bear

heavily one year and rest and grow the next.

An orchard gone wild drops few warm rotting

fruit in the grass but the trees stretch

high and wiry gifting the birds forty

feet up among inch long thorns

broken atavistically from the smooth wood.

A woman is not a basket you place

your buns in to keep them warm. Not a brood

hen you can slip duck eggs under.

Not the purse holding the coins of

your descendants till you spend them in wars.

Not a bank where your genes collect interest

and interesting mutations in the tainted

rain, anymore than you are.

You plant your corn and harvest

it to eat or sell. You put the lamb

in the pasture to fatten and haul it in

to butcher for chops. You slice

the mountain in two for a road and gouge

the high plains for coal and the waters

run muddy for miles and years.

Fish die but you do not call them yours

unless you wished to eat them.

Now you legislate mineral rights in a woman.

You lay claim to her pastures for grazing,

fields for growing babies like iceburg

lettuce. You value children so dearly

that none ever go hungry, none weep

with no one to tend them when mothers

work, none lack fresh fruit,

none chew lead or cough to death and your

orphanages are empty. Every noon the best

restaurants serve poor children steaks.

At this moment at nine o'clock a partera

is performing a table top abortion on an

unwed mother in Texas who can't get Medicaid

any longer. In five days she will die

of tetanus and her little daughter will cry

and be taken away. Next door a husband

and wife are sticking pins in the son

they did not want. They will explain

for hours how wicked he is,

how he wants discipline.

We are all born of woman, in the rose

of the womb we suckled our mother's blood

and every baby born has a right to love

like a seedling to the sun. Every baby born

unloved, unwanted, is a bill that will come

due in twenty years with interest, an anger

that must find a target, a pain that will

beget pain. A decade downstream a child

screams, a woman falls, a synagogue is torched,

a firing squad summoned, a button

is pushed and the world burns.

I will choose what enters me, what becomes,

flesh of my flesh. Without choice, no politics,

no ethics lives. I am not your cornfield,

not your uranium mine, not your calf

for fattening, not your cow for milking.

You may not use me as your factory.

Priests and legislators do not hold

shares in my womb or my mind.

This is my body. If I give it to you

I want it back. My life

is a non-negotiable demand.

QUOTE(S):  “Raising people is not some lark. It's serious work with serious repercussions. It's air-traffic control. You can't step out for a minute; you can barely pause to scratch your ankle.” ~ Kelly Corrigan

"Yeah, that means all across the country, women in places like South Dakota or Missouri or even Texas will have the exact same abortion rights as women in Afghanistan under the Taliban." ~ Trevor Noah

Hallelujah (HAIM)

Okay, raise your hand if you're tired of me saying:  "It's been one month... six weeks... three months... [fill in unit of time measurement here] since my last confession... um... blog post".  I've been busy but I've also been cocooning, if that makes a bit of sense.  RHG and I were talking the other night, reminiscing about the years I suffered from Full Plate Syndrome, and I worked hard to eventually scrape many things off my dish.  I laughed that now, when I add something, it's not a heaping helping of mashed potatoes, but more along the lines of one... pea... at... a... time.  And I'm good with that... 😍

I recently attended a livestream with Anna Quindlen, moderated by Kelly Corrigan (more about her in an upcoming Mother's Day post).  I have been following AQ's writing since first reading her Life in the 30's column when we lived in Puerto Rico (1985-1989), followed by her novels as well as non-fiction works.  There's just something about her "voice" that is simple yet beautiful; her new book (non-fiction) is called Write for Your Life (see link below), and is geared to those who love to write but don't do it professionally.  I related to so many things she said, especially:  "I don't send you a letter to *tell* you something; I send you a letter to *give* you something."  Whoa.  Wow.  Goosebumps.

If you are a friend, or a follower of my blog, or both... you are long familiar with my can't-do-anything-in-25-words-or-less philosophy.  I mean... I can, but I don't want to... not when there's a whole language and vocabulary out there just waiting to be used and highlighted.  This is where I shine; I have missed writing... and her livestream fueled my desire to get back to blogging too, even if only once a week.  

So, here I am.  Rather than recap from where I left off (mid-February... really?!?), I will Begin Again... in the Now... possibly sharing tidbits of that Bermuda Triangle of lost time... or maybe not.  Life is pretty d*mn lovely.  I still read, walk, garden, hug my Colin, sip my hot tea, count my blessings.  Hope there is joy in your days as well, whether bestowed-by-The-Universe magical or earned-tooth-and-nail (equally valued).

It is indeed Feel Good Friday and, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten/enlighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

~ MacKenzie Scott Has Pledged to Donate Half Her Net Worth to Charity:  It's a pledge her ex-husband, Jeff Bezos, has yet to make.

~ Love the Hit Game Wordle? Try BRDL, a Bird-Inspired Spinoff:  The daily word quiz that has taken the internet by storm now has a version for birders. Just make sure you know your banding codes.

~ Break a Leg but Never Whistle: How Stage Superstitions Live On:  The return of the Scottish play (that’s “Macbeth” to the rest of you) is a reminder of the idiosyncratic rituals and routines that bring actors comfort.

~ The Best Teas, According to Wirecutter’s Obsessive Staff:  A great cup of tea can make everything better. Even though tea is not as popular as coffee in the US, we think it deserves its place as the second-most widely consumed beverage in the world (water being the first). 

~ 70+ Perennial Vegetables to Plant Once and Harvest for Years:  Edible perennial gardening is a way to grow delicious crops while saving time, money, and effort. 

NR:  One Two Three by Laurie Frankel

SONG:  Hallelujah by HAIM

BOOK:  Write for Your Life by Anna Quindlen 

POEM:  What You Missed That Day You Were Absent From Fourth Grade by Brad Aaron Modlin

Mrs. Nelson explained how to stand still and listen

to the wind, how to find meaning in pumping gas,

how peeling potatoes can be a form of prayer. She took

questions on how not to feel lost in the dark

After lunch she distributed worksheets

that covered ways to remember your grandfather’s

voice. Then the class discussed falling asleep

without feeling you had forgotten to do something else—

something important—and how to believe

the house you wake in is your home. This prompted

Mrs. Nelson to draw a chalkboard diagram detailing

how to chant the Psalms during cigarette breaks,

and how not to squirm for sound when your own thoughts

are all you hear; also, that you have enough.

The English lesson was that I am

is a complete sentence.

And just before the afternoon bell, she made the math equation

look easy. The one that proves that hundreds of questions,

and feeling cold, and all those nights spent looking

for whatever it was you lost, and one person

add up to something.

QUOTE(S):  "When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life." ~ Jean Shinoda Bolen

“We have a tendency to think in terms of doing and not in terms of being. We think that when we are not doing anything, we are wasting our time. But that is not true. Our time is first of all for us to be. To be what? To be alive, to be peaceful, to be joyful, to be loving. And that is what the world needs most.”

Thich Nhat Hanh 

“Doing those deeply unfashionable things—slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting—is a radical act now, but it is essential. This is a crossroads we all know, a moment when you need to shed a skin. If you do, you’ll expose all those painful nerve endings and feel so raw that you’ll need to take care of yourself for a while. If you don’t, then that skin will harden around you.” ~ Katherine May

One More Circle (Peter Mayer)

Seriously, it's been six weeks since I last posted?  And the crazy thing is that I've had this one, completed, in the queue for all that time.  WTF?!?

Throwing it out into the blogiverse now, in hopes of getting myself back on track.  It's not even that I've been a sloth; the opposite, actually.  I am super-immersed in my gardening community, my family (especially my grandson Colin!), my friends, my Want to Read List/Pile, my walking/yoga/pool stretching, my Brain Games (NYT mini-crossword and Spelling Bee and now Wordle), my kitchen witchery (more about that later).  But I very much miss blogging, no matter if anyone's reading or not (but let me know if you are... 😍)

We wished each other Happy New Year, right?  Hope your 2022 is off to a great start on so many levels... 💖

NR:  By the Sea by Abdulrazak Gurnah (awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 2021 "for his uncompromising and compassionate penetration of the effects of colonialism and the fate of the refugee in the gulf between cultures and continents")

SONG:  One More Circle by Peter Mayer

BOOK:  Seeking Wisdom: A Spiritual Path to Creative Connection (A Six-Week Artist's Way Program) by Julia Cameron

POEM(S):  New Day's Lyric by Amanda Gorman

May this be the day
We come together.

Mourning, we come to mend,
Withered, we come to weather,
Torn, we come to tend,
Battered, we come to better.

Tethered by this year of yearning,
We are learning
That though we weren’t ready for this,
We have been readied by it.
We steadily vow that no matter
How we are weighed down,
We must always pave a way forward.
This hope is our door, our portal.
Even if we never get back to normal,
Someday we can venture beyond it,
To leave the known and take the first steps.

So let us not return to what was normal,
But reach toward what is next.
What was cursed, we will cure.
What was plagued, we will prove pure.
Where we tend to argue, we will try to agree,
Those fortunes we forswore, now the future we foresee,
Where we weren’t aware, we’re now awake;
Those moments we missed
Are now these moments we make,
The moments we meet,
And our hearts, once all together beaten,
Now all together beat.

Come, look up with kindness yet,
For even solace can be sourced from sorrow.
We remember, not just for the sake of yesterday,
But to take on tomorrow.

We heed this old spirit,
In a new day’s lyric,
In our hearts, we hear it:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
Be bold, sang Time this year,
Be bold, sang Time,
For when you honor yesterday,
Tomorrow ye will find.
Know what we’ve fought
Need not be forgot nor for none.
It defines us, binds us as one,
Come over, join this day just begun.
For wherever we come together,
We will forever overcome.

QUOTE(S): “Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between.” ~ Maya Angelou

"We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure, but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of the world." ~ Jack Gilbert

Bend and Stretch (Romper Room)

Synchronicity strikes again!

Even before my friend Eileen shared the 30-day Yoga Challenge with Adriene (which I signed up for immediately, and began today), I was thinking of choosing Move as my Word of the Year... but I then decided to fine-tune it even more to Stretch; the second half of 2021 found me strettttcccchhhhing myself in various ways on many levels, as evidenced by the multiple definitions below:

Stretch

~ (of something soft or elastic) be made or be capable of being made longer or wider without tearing or breaking.

~ cause (something) to become longer or wider by pulling it.

~ straighten or extend one's body or a part of one's body to its full length, typically so as to tighten one's muscles or in order to reach something.

~ extend or spread over an area or period of time.

~ last or cause to last longer than expected.

~ make great demands on the capacity or resources of.

~ cause (someone) to make maximum use of their talents or abilities.

~ adapt or extend the scope of (something) in a way that exceeds a reasonable or acceptable limit.

~ a difficult or demanding task.

~ a continuous period of time.

It was beyond amazing, and I want to continue the good feeling and stretch myself even further... past my boundaries, limits, comfort zone... emotionally, physically, spiritually.  I have (oh so) High Hopes for 2022!

Bend and stretch,

Reach for the stars.

There goes Jupiter,

Here comes Mars.

Bend and stretch,

Reach for the sky.

Stand on tip-e-toes,

Oh so high!

SONG:  Bend and Stretch (Romper Room)

BOOK:  The Big Stretch: 90 Days to Expand Your Dreams, Crush Your Goals, and Create Your Own Success by Teneshia Jackson Warner

POEM(S):  Becoming Her by April Green

When I started showing up

as the woman I wanted to be,

the world began responding to me;

showing me all the different ways I needed to keep moving,

and healing and growing

and stretching beyond myself,

beyond anything, I had ever reached before.

When I started showing up

as the woman I wanted to be,

the world led me to a place where

I could finally say:

‘I am her.’

Song by Adrienne Rich

You’re wondering if I’m lonely:

OK then, yes, I’m lonely

as a plane rides lonely and level

on its radio beam, aiming

across the Rockies

for the blue-strung aisles

of an airfield on the ocean.

.

You want to ask, am I lonely?

Well, of course, lonely

as a woman driving across country

day after day, leaving behind

mile after mile

little towns she might have stopped

and lived and died in, lonely

.

If I’m lonely

it must be the loneliness

of waking first, of breathing

dawn’s first cold breath on the city

of being the one awake

in a house wrapped in sleep

.

If I’m lonely

it’s with the rowboat ice-fast on the shore

in the last red light of the year

that knows what it is, that knows it’s neither

ice nor mud nor winter light

but wood, with a gift for burning.

.

QUOTE(S):  "Yesterday I met a whole person. It is a rare experience, but always an illuminating and ennobling one. It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment and the courage to pay the price… One has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover, and yet demand no easy return on love. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, yet open always to the total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying." ~ Morris West 

"Whatever wishes to grow within you—a curiosity, a talent, an interest—is life seeking its expression through you.  Our old desire for comfort, even happiness, may prove an impediment.   We are here a very short time. Let us make it as luminous and as meaningful as we can.  Time to stop being afraid, and time to show up as yourself." ~ James Hollis

"I was in darkness, but I took three steps and found myself in paradise. The first step was a good thought, the second, a good word; and the third, a good deed." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

What a Wonderful Way to End a Crazy Year (David Archuleta)

Had you given up on me?!?  Crazy to think it's been two months since I last posted on my blog.  Attempting to get back to at least a once-a-week schedule!

Rather than backtrack in detail, I will encapsulate to say that we resurrected our Thanksgiving tradition and hosted The Usual Suspects, which was joyful and much-needed.  Then... dum dum dum dum dum... the Omicron variant (of COVID) hit, and we've all gone back to cautious mode.

I continue to call and text with long-distance family and friends, and I'm still reading like a motherf*cker but, honestly, my main coping mechanism these days is The Caring Community, which I've mentioned previously.  We moved Garden Day from Thursdays to Fridays, and there has been so much progress in the few short months I've been involved; in August we were cover-cropping and everything was dormant... then Fall planting the first week of November, and now we are harvesting four or five grocery bags of greens and herbs *weekly*, not to mention papayas, bananas, and black sapotes.  Our HOPE Outreach Food Bank Garden even received a Sustainability Award from the Town of Davie a few weeks ago!

And then... the holidays arrived in full force, which have kept me insanely busy (in the best possible way); the house looks so festive with decorations, as opposed to last year, when I, sadly, only displayed my front-door wreath and my doormat... 🎄 

It was nice to go off the grid the last two days, joyfully penduluming from peace to chaos and back again:  cooking/baking strada and Mexican wedding cookies (other yummies, too!)... fun as well as meaningful text and phone conversations... attending a friend's Christmas Eve party... Christmas Day with the MossFam6... elderflower champagne cocktails... giving and receiving thoughtful presents (and presence)... much laughter... my Spotify playlist (see below) which continues to entertain and inspire... 😍

Hoping you and yours enjoyed many special moments throughout the holidays, connecting with family and friends, and appreciating moments of quiet too.  Much love from our tribe to yours... 💖

P.S.  Mixtapes are my SuperPower and, having segued from cassettes to CDs over the decades, I am here to say that Spotify playlists rock (thanks for the encouragement, MW!). The Crazy continues but, as long as we have fab music and great friends and books and nature and walking, we can do this; it's 90 minutes because I have a 45-minute walking route in my condo complex; this way, I get two exercise outings for the price of one!

P.P.S.  Full Disclosure:  I gleaned some of the songs from the cool holiday movies I watched this year:  Dash & Lily, LoveHard, Single All the Way... NOT Hallmark, I swear (ha ha ha ha ha!).

SONG:  What a Wonderful Way to End a Crazy Year by David Archuleta

BOOK:  The Twelve Days of Dash & Lily by Rachel Cohn, David Levithan

POEM:  Mistletoe by Walter de la Mare

Sitting under the mistletoe

(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),

One last candle burning low,

All the sleepy dancers gone,

Just one candle burning on,

Shadows lurking everywhere:

Some one came, and kissed me there.

Tired I was; my head would go

Nodding under the mistletoe

(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),

No footsteps came, no voice, but only,

Just as I sat there, sleepy, lonely,

Stooped in the still and shadowy air

Lips unseen—and kissed me there.

QUOTE:  "If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever-­more wonders." ~ Andrew Harvey

Holly Tree (Dar Williams)

In honor of Halloween this Sunday (October 31, as usual!).

"Calling yourself a witch at this moment in history is a BIG deal. Our way of being as women has been persecuted for millennia. The word ‘witch’ has been vilified and slung around as an insult. So it’s no wonder that we, as women, hold back our power, hush our voices, and stay small because we’ve been told that being powerful is unsafe. 

Our work, the work of the witch, is to make it safe to be powerful again. 

Being powerful in the face of thousands of years of patriarchal expectations and conditioning means going against so many of the things you’ve been taught, right?  And yet… the power to shape events, to change things up and make things happen flows naturally through you. Your biology is honed and optimized to wield that power and use it for good. 

It’s your birthright as a woman.

This is witch work.

The thing is, so many of us have grown really good at playing the roles we’ve been offered up as women in the world...

The problem? I don’t know about you, but when I’ve played these roles (and I’ve played many of them in the past), I’ve always found myself feeling a combination of unfulfilled/hungry/displeased/restless. 

And if you feel that restlessness too? That’s the unexpressed part of you. 

Over time, that part of you starts to scream inside. The scream becomes deafening. All-consuming. 

For some it shows up as pain and dis-ease in the body. For others it’ll be depression and/or anxiety. 

You may use food/drink/shopping/drugs to numb it. 

At first, you’ll probably push it down. 

And in pushing down the scream, you’ll go one of two ways. You’ll either become despondent and submissive to life, or you’ll become aggressive and/or hardened – taking on predominantly masculine traits to survive....

I totally disconnected from my female body. I lived my life from the neck up, operating and making decisions decisions from my head.I lived life like a dude because that option seemed much easier than having to deal with being a woman who was never seen or heard...

Pushing down the scream is what we’re dealing with here... it’s a basic reality for so many women in the western world. Recognize it in your body. 

Recognize it in your being, because it’s time to stop pushing it down. It’s time to start letting it all be seen and felt. FULLY. 

This is witch work.

How do we dare to express our fullness? 

We must bring it ALL. 

Rage AND laughter. 

Beauty AND strength. 

Fierceness AND grace. 

Vulnerability AND force. 

Compassion AND passion."

~ Lisa Lister, Witch: Unleashed. Untamed. Unapologetic.

It is indeed Feel Good Friday and, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten/enlighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

~ Six Kinds of Vegan Witches To Know:  Witches are known for being anti-establishment, resourceful, independent and deeply connected to the natural world, so is it any surprise that vegans have a natural affinity for witchery?

~ A Scaredy-Cat’s Investigation Into Why People Enjoy Fear:  Halloween is here again. That means your co-workers have planted surprise spiders around the office. You’ve been invited to a haunted hayride. Your neighbor’s yard has a full cemetery, rigged with motion detectors and pop-up zombies.

~ Monster Burgers Are Here This Weekend (Saturday, October 30 and Sunday, October 31):  Parlour Vegan's Halloween menu! (make sure to click over to page 2 as well... 👻 )

~ When ‘Boo!’ Is Only the Beginning:  What does it take to scare the candy corn out of someone? Performers at two of New York’s hallowed haunted attractions explain the secrets behind the shocks.

~ The Rumpus Advice Column #98: Monsters and Ghosts:  Dear Sugar, my mother left my father the month I was born. She remarried and had my brother two years later. My stepfather (the only father I knew) committed suicide when I was five years old. My mother became a raging alcoholic following his death. (continued at link)

~ BONUS, although not Halloween-related:  Dar Williams livestream: I'll Meet You Here, Live From the Road, tonight at 9:45 p.m. EDT!  Join Dar Williams, cellist/guitarist/vocalist Ward Williams, and keyboardist/vocalist Bryn Roberts to experience the I’ll Meet You Here tour from the comfort of your home. If you are immunocompromised, or caring for someone who is, you might not be able to come out to a live venue for the shows. We’ve read your emails and social media comments requesting an option to join Dar virtually. This show is for YOU. The show is free, but tips are always welcome and appreciated to help cover the costs of bringing this livestream to your home. Dar very much appreciates your enthusiasm and support!

SONG:  Holly Tree by Dar Williams

BOOK:  Magic Lessons: Book #1 of the Practical Magic Series by Alice Hoffman

POEM:  Macbeth, Act IV, Scene I [Round about the cauldron go] by William Shakespeare

The three witches, casting a spell

Round about the cauldron go;   

In the poison’d entrails throw.   

Toad, that under cold stone    

Days and nights hast thirty one   

Swelter’d venom sleeping got,   

Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.   

     Double, double toil and trouble; 

     Fire burn and cauldron bubble.   

Fillet of a fenny snake,   

In the cauldron boil and bake;   

Eye of newt, and toe of frog,   

Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,   

Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,   

Lizard’s leg, and howlet’s wing,   

For a charm of powerful trouble, 

Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.   

     Double, double toil and trouble;   

     Fire burn and cauldron bubble.  

Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,      

Witches’ mummy, maw and gulf     

Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark,     

Root of hemlock digg’d i’ the dark,     

Liver of blaspheming Jew,      

Gall of goat, and slips of yew     

Sliver’d in the moon’s eclipse,     

Nose of Turk, and Tartar’s lips,     

Finger of birth-strangled babe      

Ditch-deliver’d by a drab,     

Make the gruel thick and slab:     

Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron,     

For the ingredients of our cauldron.

     Double, double toil and trouble;   

     Fire burn and cauldron bubble.  

QUOTE(S):  “The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”  ~ W.B. Yeats

Where your fear is, there is your task. ~ C.G. Jung

“I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” ~ Georgia O’Keeffe 

I Swear (All-4-One)

Despite what the above memes might make you believe, it's been a good week.  It's just that I really like to swear, the f-word being my favorite, which I sprinkle liberally into conversation.  However, I am slowly getting to know people in my new gardening community, and don't want to offend anyone... so I'm trying to become more selective about the words as well as situations in which I curse.  A worthy challenge or an exercise in futility?  We shall see... 😁

This week saw a lovely phone chat with Melanie, picking up Colin, Zoom with Nancy and Judi, my monthly massage, a Caring Community leadership Zoom meeting, and two garden events... one our regular Friday gathering and this morning a planting/tutorial on herbs.  We volunteers were given cut branches with dried lippia leaves, and I do believe it is now my favorite tea.  Yum!

Apparently Feel Good Friday has morphed into Feel Good Saturday (whoops!) and, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten/enlighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

~ Remembering Gary Paulsen, author of 'Dogsled' and 'Hatchet':  The Newbery award-winning author, who died Oct. 13, wrote over 200 books, many of which were tales of adventure aimed at young adults. In 1994, Paulsen talked about Alaska's Iditarod dog sled race.

~ The Paradox of Less is More (And How It Will Improve Your Life):  “Don’t use a lot where a little will do.”

~ Miami Book Fair is back with a street fair, in-person events — and new COVID rules:  This year the fair, which runs Nov. 14-21, is a hybrid, a blend of in-person and online events that brings the fair closer to what it was before our story took an unfortunate turn in 2020.

~ Mentor to Make a Difference:  Did you know that 43% of Florida students cannot read at a minimally proficient level by the end of third grade? ReadingPals, a statewide volunteer-based literacy initiative provides mentors for students from Pre-K through 3rd grade for one hour a week for 25 weeks to read to a child. 

~ Little Love Jar:  A jar stuffed with love, praise, friendship, and memories, gathered from the people who matter most. The recipient will be celebrated like never before with this personalized gift filled to the brim with joy, inspiration, humor and LOVE. Each Little Love Jar is filled with up to 175 messages, collected from friends and family worldwide. ($85.  Hmmm.  Is it awful that I'm going to "borrow" this *very* cool idea, and do it for my own family and friends this holiday season?)

SONG:  I Swear by All-4-One

BOOK:  How to Swear: An Illustrated Guide by Stephen Wildish

POEM:  Swear by Psalmist

A day can suck.
A day can blow.
It can go to hell
or go to shit.
You can screw it
— you can fuck it.
It can be damned like a soul.
It may kiss your ass, if you give it permission.
Or fuck you in the same ass once it’s been presented.
It can shit on you,
piss on you;
a day can be a bitch.
When you think about it, a day can be all kinds of expletives.
A day can be pretty damn insensitive,
perverse, uncouth, reprehensible,
lascivious, immoral, without principal,
improper, indiscreet, a libertine,
vulgar, crude, ribald, lewd, deranged.
A day can be all of these things.
But just you wait, because tomorrow,
I swear,
it could be inexplicably chaste.

QUOTE:  "Contrary to the negative stereotype that folks who swear have poor vocabularies, a fluency in taboo language correlates with overall verbal fluency. The more words you know, the more you know... and the more colorfully you can express yourself, with nuance, metaphor, and emotion." ~ Faith Salie

Joy (Carlos Santana and Chris Stapleton)

Full, satisfying, lovely week!  Zoom with Nancy and Judi... a fasting/bloodwork appointment with a follow-up doctor visit in a few weeks (on the surface, all looked good)... two library pick-ups... a sweet phone chat with my sister Mari... Zoom book club with my OverReaders Anonymous group (since September 2001 and counting!)... picked up Colin from preschool... a Dollar Tree shopping spree ($24 and so much great stuff!)... and this morning our regular Community Garden get-together (today we installed netting over some hooped beds, repotted plants into smaller containers to sell at our Pop-Up Market, and even saw some donkeys:  the collective noun is herd but, since there were only four, that doesn't really apply...  Two more garden events this weekend:

Mulching and Pollinator Garden on Saturday:  

https://www.facebook.com/events/224145272915317

Pop-Up Market on Sunday:

https://www.facebook.com/events/857790578206545

...and on the seventh day, she rested (ha ha ha ha ha!)

P.S.  I am also faithfully/obsessively back in my walking routine, for two reasons:  1) the weather is a bit cooler, and the humidity a tad lower... and 2) a dear friend has been converting a series of *mixtapes* I made in 1997/98 to Spotify playlists.  Talk about Memory Lane, literally as well as figuratively!  Thanks and love, MW... 💞 ♭♭♭ 😎

NR:  The Leavers by Lisa Ko

It is indeed Feel Good Friday (cutting it close again!) and, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten/enlighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

~ Scenes from the Life of Roz Chast:  In the past four decades, the cartoonist has created a universe of spidery lines and nervous spaces, turning anxious truth-telling into an authoritative art.

~ 10 Ways To Connect To The Earth and Others:  How do you feeling complete and connected to the Earth and others? It takes effort, but it is worth it. We must bring our focus outside of ourselves to allow us to reach out to people and to the world around us in positive ways.

~ Do You Believe?:  Michael Dean as Cher wows audiences with his uncanny ability to impersonate the one and only Cher.  He is available for corporate

and charitable events, celebrations and other special occasions.

~ Welcome to She’s Full of Lit!:  While book blogs and book reviews abound on the internet, the three of us (Elizabeth, Moira, and Shannon), felt that we had a distinctive voice to bring to the book world.  

~ Feeling Anxious? Journaling Might Help:  Guided notebooks that borrow principles from cognitive-behavioral therapy and mindfulness are aiming to put mental-health tools in the hands of the people.

~ Bonus item:  Matt Amodio’s ‘Jeopardy!’ Streak Ends After 38 Wins:  The computer science Ph.D. student had the second-longest winning streak in the history of the game show. [Susan's note:  I record Jeopardy every night, and watch it either later that evening or the next day (have been doing that for years).  Of course, I am impressed and in awe of Matt Amodio's mad skills/memory/brainpower, having won $1,518,601 over the course of his run since July 21.  However, it just wasn't fun anymore, as the Ph.D. student bulldozed over his competitors with his knowledge, his strategy, and his high-risk betting, making every game a runaway... except that last one, obviously.  It feels good to be back to "the good ol' days again", with an even playing field... until the next wunderkind comes along... 👀

 

SONG:  Joy by Carlos Santana, with Chris Stapleton

BOOK:  These Precious Days: Essays by Ann Patchett

POEM:  five acts of protest by Maya Stein

1. It is too late in the season for the tomato vines to bear fruit. Nevertheless,

a bloom has appeared the color of a kindergarten sun.

2. Potato chips, eaten in a moving car, napkinless.

3. A coupon will arrive in the mail and it will appear glossy with promise, or a celebrity

you admire will begin a new skin care routine that leaves them ebullient with youth

and you will want that same glow bestowed on your tired face. Instead, make applesauce.

Write a chirpy Post-it note to your neighbor. Scotch tape it on a Mason jar you’ve filled

to the brim. Deliver it, unannounced, to their doorstep.

4. Stillness. No, really. Stop moving for One. Whole. Minute.

5. Grief and its surrender. Joy and its surrender. Any act and its surrender.

QUOTE:  "Some days I am overwhelmed with sadness, a heavy heart, and a sense of loss; some days I awaken already infused with a sense of gratitude and joy. Every day, however, I wake up prepared to be curious and interested, to approach all interactions with myself and others with compassion, and to do what I can to challenge thoughts and beliefs that I don’t want to take into my future. I just know that next year will be a better year." ~ Catherine Nabbs

Sweet Spot (Antje Duvekot)

Good but very low-key week... exactly what I needed after the breakneck pace of the last few.  Zoom with Nancy and Judi, a library pick-up, volunteering in the community garden this morning.  Much weeding, and joyful satisfaction!  We harvested apple bananas (yes, that's a real thing!) and papayas for the food bank, saw many peacock butterflies (thanks to Claire for the ID), and even spotted, amidst the chicken wire (to keep out the iguanas), a chrysalis... 😃

On my way out, I stopped into the farmers' market in front, and bought beefsteak tomatoes, two different kinds of sweet potatoes, Gala apples, locally-made vegan coconut yogurt, as well as baba ganoush.  The first thing I did when I got home was make a tomato sandwich (to quote songwriter Guy Clark:  "only two things money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes"... ❤ )  Yum!

I've also tried to catch up on my reading, because putting together the TCC newsletter was taking up a lot of my discretionary time; it was a fun challenge, but I do get grumpy when I don't consume words on a regular basis.  Reinstating a feature I haven't used in a while:

NR:  House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

It is indeed Feel Good Friday (cutting it close again!) and, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten/enlighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

~ Baking That’s Simple, but Always Satisfying:  In her new monthly column, Genevieve Ko shares easy, streamlined recipes, like handmade crisps and cookies, so you can feed your loved ones (and yourself) effortlessly.

~ Books Don't Cost A Thing: A #GoodbyeFines Playlist:  It's one fine day at the Library! On October 5, The New York Public Library announced that we're closing the book on late fines. That's right—NYPL no longer charges late fines on overdue material. 

~ Urban Food Forest at Browns Mill:  This site is Atlanta's first Community Urban Food Forest, as well as a new model for a City of Atlanta park. The food forest will produce a wide variety of fresh, flavorful, and healthy nuts, fruits,  vegetables, herbs,  and mushrooms, which will become available for public consumption.  Located in an area identified as a food desert, the site was a working farm as recently as 2000. Neighbors still talk about the land’s former owners, Ruby and Willie Morgan, who left excess produce from their farm on fence posts for neighbors to claim and enjoy. 

~ Designed to remind us of stories worth sharing:  At Anecdote, we’re making fragrance a conversation piece. Inspired by personal recollections and cultural trends, each candle is an everyday luxury designed to remind us of stories worth sharing.

~ William Steig’s Books Explored the Reality That Adults Don’t Want Children to Know About:  Writers for young children have a nearly impossible task: to amuse both the kid being read to and the adult doing the reading. Doing one or the other is hard enough, and only a select handful of geniuses can manage both. William Steig is one. 

SONG:  Sweet Spot by Antje Duvekot

BOOK:  Yes! I AM by Opal Murray (my dear friend Opal from the UUCFL asked me to review her book; I agreed, and was beyond relieved that it was a lovely read.  Don't be surprised if it ends up in your mailbox in the next few months... 💗 )

POEM:  Field Guide by Tony Hoagland

Once, in the cool blue middle of a lake,

up to my neck in that most precious element of all,

I found a pale-gray, curled-upwards pigeon feather

floating on the tension of the water

at the very instant when a dragonfly,

like a blue-green iridescent bobby pin,

hovered over it, then lit, and rested.

That’s all.

I mention this in the same way

that I fold the corner of a page

in certain library books,

so that the next reader will know

where to look for the good parts.

QUOTE:  "Be amazed. Take a step back and look at your life with gratitude every now and then. Be amazed. Squeeze every last ounce of goodness out of what is around you. Savor it. Soak it up. Luxuriate in it. Be amazed. When you’re burned out, bone weary, and bedraggled, use amazement to fill yourself back up. Seek out those situations, people, and activities that remind you of what it means and how it feels to be amazed." ~ Leslie Ralph

Battle Hymn for an Army of Lovers (Crys Matthews)

Demonstrators Hold Reproductive Rights Rallies in South Florida Saturday:  The protests come after a controversial new bill was filed in the Florida state legislature that would make it illegal for a doctor to perform an abortion if there’s a detectable heartbeat

This past Saturday (October 2), Nancy and I attended the March for Reproductive Freedom in Ft. Lauderdale (one of over 600 around the country!); I dumped out my Jar o' Buttons, collected over the last four decades, and affixed the Choice ones to my backpack (photo above), and I posted the following to their Facebook page:

Kudos to Jasmen and Emma, and everyone who volunteered, organized, and showed up! I am 67 years old, in the I Can't Believe I'm Still Protesting This Sh*t demographic. I have attended many local marches over the last four decades, as well as crossed state lines (Washington DC in April 2004!), and I was delightfully impressed yesterday, not only with the turn-out but also the number of *young* women, and many men. This *is* what democracy looks like... ✌

The speakers were motivational (Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Nikki Fried, among many others), the signs creative (Pumpkin and Spice and Reproductive Rights!), and there were even female internal organs crafted from pool noodles (which I called The Sisterhood of the Traveling Uterus!).

The march, under blue South Florida skies, was powerful as well as joyful; I forgot how good it felt to stop traffic! And those chants: "hey, hey ho ho, Ron DeSantis has to go" and "What do we want? CHOICE! When do we want it? NOW!"

What a fabulous day of empowerment and inspiration. I *am* tired of fighting, but I will continue to until we have Justice and Peace. "Ain’t no power like the power of the people cuz the power of the people don’t stop (Say what!)" indeed... ❤

SONG:  Battle Hymn for an Army of Lovers by Crys Matthews

BOOK:  The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy

POEM:  Sticky by Kaitlin Shetler

give me the faith 

of a child

where i question everything

and take no shit 

give me the heart 

of a child 

where my passions 

keep me up talking 

way past my bedtime 

i want to be 

earnest 

eager

and electric

exhausting my detractors 

exploding expectations in favor

of my imagination 

i want to be 

brutally honest

and sticky 

unashamed of 

my hobbies

and my body 

let the little children

come with

candor 

and challenge 

and let me follow 

them

give me the faith 

of a child

where if it doesn’t 

make sense

i can just walk away 

and mud doesn’t scare

me

and perfection 

doesn’t chase me

and dreams don’t

defy me

give me the faith

of a child

and let me fight 

monsters 

with just the power

of being 

me

QUOTE:  “And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.” ~ Libba Bray