Volcano (Jimmy Buffett)

Last night Sarah and her five-year-old son were watching Floor Is Lava, "a game show in which contestants strive to reach a goal while traversing booby-trapped rooms filled with "lava", and Colin yelled out, "There's Uncle Eric!"... and she had to call me right away and share the pics she snapped from her TV to my phone... and d*mn if he's not right.  The guy on the blocK looks *so* much like E.  What a big fat f*cking metaphor... 🌋

It was a hugely productive day, as well as a wrenching one. I know I compared this process to Candyland in a previous post, but the experience also conjures Whack-A-Mole and Dominoes as well as the children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (see BOOK: below).  Every line item you pursue has a possible answer, followed by one or more questions.  Ripple Effect on steroids.  My phone is like a convenience store... DING DING DING DING DING, all well-intentioned... but multi-tasking is not my strong suit and I feel as if I'm doing many things badly, rather than one thing at a time to completion.

Hey, there are wedding planners; how about funeral planners?  The amount of details that have to be attended to are overwhelming, exhausting, and never-ending... especially when the next of kin (us) are in a different state from where the accident occurred.  

I was actually going to make a List of everything we've dealt with (and still have to) but... nah.  I think it will just make me more anxious than I already am (and I do not think of myself as an anxious person).  So... I'll continue with Get 'Er Done Mode.

Everything is fucking automated; just let me speak to a real person, please!

And... I have come to the conclusion that Eric's tendency to "make everything harder than it has to be" was inherited from my husband... 😏

Okay, here are some positives:

Even in my 1170 sq. ft. condo, I have been getting in my steps (ha!); all the walking back and forth between where I have set up "a command post" in the guest room/office... and Chico, who is ensconced in our bedroom, equally hard at work with phone calls, e-mails, and texts... as we traipse up and down the hallway, asking for clarification, editing, opinions (define Casual Attire; really, sweetie?!?)

I would venture to say that every one of the professionals we've dealt with so far have been comprehensive as well as compassionate... from Officer Z at the police department, to Angie at the insurance company, to William at the funeral home.  My default for the last week has been Gratitude.  These people are, for the moment, softening the sharp edges of my pain so I can move forward.

I, one of those Live to Eat people, have completely lost my appetite.  I pendulum from can't-even-think-about-putting-anything-in-my-mouth  to a 3 p.m. "oh my god, I am starving, my blood sugar is dropping, I need sustenance ASAP" meltdown.  Again, thanks to those who have delivered food such that we have a full pantry/fridge/freezer and I can grab something quickly that I know is also going to be healthy.

Today a box filled with various types of Yogi teas arrived at my front door, no note inside, but of course it had to be from my Caring Community... literally... 🤗

More baby steps which, I responded to a commenter, might have to be my next tattoo... 👣👣👣

SONG:  Volcano by Jimmy Buffett

BOOK:  If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff, Felicia Bond (Illustrator)

POEM:  A still — Volcano — Life — by Emily Dickinson

A still — Volcano — Life —

That flickered in the night —

When it was dark enough to do

Without erasing sight —

A quiet — Earthquake Style —

Too subtle to suspect

By natures this side Naples —

The North cannot detect

The Solemn — Torrid — Symbol —

The lips that never lie —

Whose hissing Corals part — and shut —

And Cities — ooze away —

QUOTE:  “None of us is getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an afterthought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.” ~ Nanea Hoffman