Saturday, May 28, 2022

I Am a Mother (Friction Farm)

This was scheduled to be an entirely different post, but then... another school shooting a few days ago.  I just told a friend that I had ramped up from Angry and Sad to Furious and Bereft.  So many deep and layered feelings but, for right now, I defer to the statement released by The Caring Community (my loving, gardening, helping family of choice), who always know exactly what to say:

"We are deeply saddened today by the news of the latest school shooting, this time at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas.  The Caring Community was founded to serve teachers as a result of the Parkland tragedy, and every teacher and family in South Florida will be feeling the echoes, reliving the pain.  Our hearts are heavy as well as broken to see these things happen over and over. We can only do what we can do to make a difference. Some things are out of our control.

The unimaginable pain of 21 families, the heartbreak and despair of parents and teachers everywhere reverberates loudly in our community. It is hard to see beyond the horror, to imagine a day when school shootings will never happen again. Rage, hopelessness, and fear are some responses we might feel to yet another tragedy in our schools.  We just want to tell our community, and most especially our teachers and school staff, that we love them. We hope you lean on each other, that you reach out to your amazing EAP (Employee Assistance Program) if you are feeling overwhelmed by it all and that you know that, although you've probably never met any of us, we deeply honor the service you give to our children and our community. We hold onto the hope that this must be the very last time that communities suffer violence like this in any school, anywhere.

No child should ever be fearful of going to school nor should any parent or caregiver fear dropping their child off to school. Our teachers everywhere are under a great deal of stress; no one ever thought that teaching children and young adults everyday would be putting their lives on the line. And yet, we still can't get the gun reform we need or the mental health help for those who desperately need it. How many more lives do we have to lose?"

Oh, yeah... and to paraphrase an all-too-often resurfacing meme:  F*ck Thoughts and Prayers; we need Policy and Change... ✊


POEM(S):  Hymn for the Hurting by Amanda Gorman 

Everything hurts,
Our hearts shadowed and strange,
Minds made muddied and mute.
We carry tragedy, terrifying and true.
And yet none of it is new;
We knew it as home,
As horror,
As heritage.
Even our children
Cannot be children,
Cannot be.

Everything hurts.
It’s a hard time to be alive,
And even harder to stay that way.
We’re burdened to live out these days,
While at the same time, blessed to outlive them.

This alarm is how we know
We must be altered —
That we must differ or die,
That we must triumph or try.
Thus while hate cannot be terminated,
It can be transformed
Into a love that lets us live.

May we not just grieve, but give:
May we not just ache, but act;
May our signed right to bear arms
Never blind our sight from shared harm;
May we choose our children over chaos.
May another innocent never be lost.

Maybe everything hurts,
Our hearts shadowed & strange.
But only when everything hurts
May everything change.

America Is a Gun by Brian Bilston

England is a cup of tea.
France, a wheel of ripened brie.
Greece, a short, squat olive tree.
America is a gun.

Brazil is a football on the sand.
Argentina, Maradona’s hand.
Germany, an oompah band.
America is a gun.

Holland is a wooden shoe.
Hungary, a goulash stew.
Australia, a kangaroo.
America is a gun.

Japan is a thermal spring.
Scotland is a highland fling.
Oh, better to be anything
than America as a gun.


Sorrow by Tim Seibles 

It's not the same
as sadness, though sorrow
has sadness in it---the way {lost}

holds losing: you can see it
in women's eyes when they laugh
and in the way men lean

over their food: after awhile,
we know nearly every love
won't go as it should,

and we know that knowing
cannot make us glad: {knowledge}
stairway to nowhere---we want

the world we cannot have,
and every day the feeling moves
between us, but we try

not to complain and almost
never fall down and cry.

QUOTE(S):  “The time for us to stop mass shootings in this country is right now, right here, today." ~ Beto O'Rourke

“The only thing that can stop a bad politician with a vote is a good citizen with a vote.” ~ Jocelyn Benson, Michigan Secretary of State

Friday, May 6, 2022

Amendment (Ani DiFranco)

Yeah, the leaked Supreme Court decision is bullsh*t, an insane power and control move, and they should all be ashamed of themselves.  I have faith that Roe v. Wade (a Constitutional right we've had for 50 years) will not be overturned.  I'm just Pollyanna-ish enough to think that, if 70% of the population believes in the right to choose, it can not, and will not, be taken away from us.  I refuse to imagine a world resembling The Handmaid's Tale.

In the meantime, I'm remembering reading an article decades ago (late-60s/early-70s) about The Jane Collective, and fearing yet feeling we may need to be prepared to resurrect it nationwide, just in case.  We worked too hard, we won't give up, and we won't go back.

Sunday is Mother's Day, and I am incredibly lucky to be able to say that all three of my children were *chosen*, because I had that luxury.  Every woman deserves a choice as to when, or if, they become mothers.

Backstory: I wrote last Friday about attending a livestream for Anna Quindlen's new book (Write for Your Life) a few weeks ago, and Kelly Corrigan was the moderator. I had never heard of KC, and was instantly captivated by her engaging personality, her fluidity of language, and her insightful questions. She mentioned being an author herself which, of course as soon as the virtual event ended, I had to google. I put all of her books on my reserve list at the library and, when I realized Glitter and Glue was about the mother-daughter relationship, I bought a copy for my daughter for the upcoming Mother's Day... and of course I had to read it first... 💞

It is indeed Feel Good Friday and, as is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten/enlighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

The 29 Best Last-Minute Mother’s Day Gifts:  Sure, it happens every year on the second Sunday in May. And, sure, every Rite Aid in the country has been teeming with cards, warning you about its impending occurrence. But, hey, we get it: Sometimes Mother’s Day sneaks up and finds us unprepared.

OttersJust a mom and her pup... 💜

Transcending: Words on Women and Strength:  
Author Kelly Corrigan penned this moving essay about women's remarkable capacity to support each other, to laugh together, and to endure.

~ Anne LamottHere is the annual Mother’s Day post, ONLY for those of you who dread the holiday, dread having strangers, cashiers & waiters exclaim cheerfully, mindlessly, “Happy Mother’s Day!” when it is a day that, for whatever reasons, makes you feel deeply sad.

Calm Mom BalmA soothing balm for those who nurture, made with flowers!



SONGAmendment by Ani DiFranco

BOOK(S)Glitter and Glue... and Lift, both by Kelly Corrigan

POEM:  Right to Life by Marge Piercy

A woman is not a pear tree
thrusting her fruit into mindless fecundity
into the world. Even pear trees bear
heavily one year and rest and grow the next.
An orchard gone wild drops few warm rotting
fruit in the grass but the trees stretch
high and wiry gifting the birds forty
feet up among inch long thorns
broken atavistically from the smooth wood.

A woman is not a basket you place
your buns in to keep them warm. Not a brood
hen you can slip duck eggs under.
Not the purse holding the coins of
your descendants till you spend them in wars.
Not a bank where your genes collect interest
and interesting mutations in the tainted
rain, anymore than you are.

You plant your corn and harvest
it to eat or sell. You put the lamb
in the pasture to fatten and haul it in
to butcher for chops. You slice
the mountain in two for a road and gouge
the high plains for coal and the waters
run muddy for miles and years.
Fish die but you do not call them yours
unless you wished to eat them.

Now you legislate mineral rights in a woman.
You lay claim to her pastures for grazing,
fields for growing babies like iceburg
lettuce. You value children so dearly
that none ever go hungry, none weep
with no one to tend them when mothers
work, none lack fresh fruit,
none chew lead or cough to death and your
orphanages are empty. Every noon the best
restaurants serve poor children steaks.
At this moment at nine o'clock a partera
is performing a table top abortion on an
unwed mother in Texas who can't get Medicaid
any longer. In five days she will die
of tetanus and her little daughter will cry
and be taken away. Next door a husband
and wife are sticking pins in the son
they did not want. They will explain
for hours how wicked he is,
how he wants discipline.

We are all born of woman, in the rose
of the womb we suckled our mother's blood
and every baby born has a right to love
like a seedling to the sun. Every baby born
unloved, unwanted, is a bill that will come
due in twenty years with interest, an anger
that must find a target, a pain that will
beget pain. A decade downstream a child
screams, a woman falls, a synagogue is torched,
a firing squad summoned, a button
is pushed and the world burns.

I will choose what enters me, what becomes,
flesh of my flesh. Without choice, no politics,
no ethics lives. I am not your cornfield,
not your uranium mine, not your calf
for fattening, not your cow for milking.
You may not use me as your factory.
Priests and legislators do not hold
shares in my womb or my mind.
This is my body. If I give it to you
I want it back. My life
is a non-negotiable demand.

QUOTE(S):  “Raising people is not some lark. It's serious work with serious repercussions. It's air-traffic control. You can't step out for a minute; you can barely pause to scratch your ankle.” ~ Kelly Corrigan

"Yeah, that means all across the country, women in places like South Dakota or Missouri or even Texas will have the exact same abortion rights as women in Afghanistan under the Taliban." ~ Trevor Noah