I Believe in Santa Claus (Dolly Parton)

There aren't enough synonyms for crazy to describe the kind of week I've had... and the next one promises more of the same - hoping to write a bit more personally over the weekend but, in the meantime, enjoy these selections (past, present and future) from the many holiday resources out there... :-)

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Eight-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon wrote a letter to the editor of New York's Sun, and the quick response was printed as an unsigned editorial Sept. 21, 1897. The work of veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church has since become history's most reprinted newspaper editorial, appearing in part or whole in dozens of languages in books, movies, and other editorials, and on posters and stamps.

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
The New York Sun – 1897

Dear Editor

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
- Virginia O'Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

SONG: I Believe in Santa Claus by Dolly Parton

BOOK: Santa Lives! Five Conclusive Arguments for the Existence of Santa Claus by Ellis Weiner

POEM: The Death of Santa Claus by Charles Webb

He's had the chest pains for weeks,

but doctors don't make house

calls to the North Pole,

he's let his Blue Cross lapse,

blood tests make him faint,

hospital gown always flap

open, waiting rooms upset

his stomach, and it's only

indigestion anyway, he thinks,

until, feeding the reindeer,

he feels as if a monster fist

has grabbed his heart and won't

stop squeezing. He can't

breathe, and the beautiful white

world he loves goes black,

and he drops on his jelly belly

in the snow and Mrs. Claus

tears out of the toy factory

wailing, and the elves wring

their little hands, and Rudolph's

nose blinks like a sad ambulance

light, and in a tract house

in Houston, Texas, I'm 8,

telling my mom that stupid

kids at school say Santa's a big

fake, and she sits with me

on our purple-flowered couch,

and takes my hand, tears

in her throat, the terrible

news rising in her eyes.

QUOTE: "Christmas renews our youth by stirring our wonder. The capacity for wonder has been called our most pregnant human faculty, for in it are born our art, our science, our religion." ~ Ralph Sockman

Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt... Marilyn Monroe... Madonna)

Australian Santas Asked Not to 'Ho Ho Ho'

Thursday, November 15, 2007
By Janet Fyfe-Yeomans and Amanda Grant
SYDNEY, Australia

He is an unlikely revolutionary, but this Christmas, Santa is a rebel with a claus.

He is having the last laugh on political correctness, and it's a great big fat belly laugh. Santas across Sydney, Australia, are rebelling against attempts to ban their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho" in favor of "ha, ha, ha."

Recruitment firm Westaff, which supplies hundreds of Santas across the country, has told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women. Two Santa hopefuls reportedly quit the course because of the hullabaloo of the ho, ho, ho.

One would-be Santa has told The Daily Telegraph he was taught not to use "ho, ho, ho" because it was too close to the American slang for prostitute. He also quit. "Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs a campaign against sexualizing children called Kids Free 2B Kids. "We are talking about little kids who do not understand that 'ho, ho, ho' has any other connotation, and nor should they. Leave Santa alone," she added.

Australian Childhood Foundation chief executive officer Dr. Joe Tucci said it was the latest example of political correctness gone mad. "There is no stronger tradition for children than Santa's ho, ho, ho," Tucci said.

On Wednesday, Australian department-store chains David Jones and Myer as well as the Westfield shopping center chain moved to reassure children, and their parents, that Santa and his customary greeting was part of Christmas's present as well as Christmas's past. A David Jones spokeswoman said they had discussed the situation with Westaff and that their Santas would not be silenced. "Senior management have assured us that Santas provided to David Jones have not been censored in any way," the spokeswoman said.

At Myer, where Westaff also train the fat men in red suits, Santa could not stop laughing about the suggestion. "Myer has not directed our Santas to refrain from using 'ho, ho, ho' and believe the expression is an important Christmas tradition," a spokesman for Myer said.
Westfield's Santas are recruited and trained by RegProm Marketing and they will be "ho, ho, ho-ing," a Westfield spokeswoman said. "Westfield Santas are known for their friendly and welcoming nature and know how to deliver a real festive 'ho, ho, ho.'"

Sydney mother Maybel Lopez said she wanted her daughter Andria, 5, to grow up hearing Santa's "ho, ho, ho" just as she had, and she did not realize the phrase had other connotations. "It's what Santa has been saying his whole life, my whole life. It is just a normal thing, really, for him to say 'ho, ho, ho,'" said Lopez.

Westaff's national Santa co-ordinator Sari Hegarty wrote to stores explaining the company's position. "Westaff has been a provider of quality caring Santas for over 40 years," Hegarty wrote in an e-mail. "Part of our advice to our Santas is that they should be mindful of children having their first Santa experience," she added. "We ask our Santas to try techniques such as lowering their tone of voice and using 'ha, ha, ha' to encourage the children to come forward and meet Santa. We wish you and your family a very merry Christmas."

Westaff national operations manager Greg Jansz said it was "misleading" to say the company had banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of Santa himself.

SONG: Santa Baby (recorded by Eartha Kitt... Marilyn Monroe... Madonna)

BOOK: Santa Speaks: The Wit and Wisdom of Santas Across the Nation by Michael Patrick Collins, Dawn Sheggeby (Editors)

POEM: Old Santeclaus by Clement Clark Moore

Old Santeclaus with much delight
His reindeer drives this frosty night,
O’er chimney-tops, and tracks of snow,
To bring his yearly gifts to you.

The steady friend of virtuous youth,
The friend of duty, and of truth,
Each Christmas eve he joys to come
Where love and peace have made their home.

Through many houses he has been,
And various beds and stockings seen;
Some, white as snow, and neatly mended,
Others, that seemed for pigs intended.

Where e’er I found good girls or boys,
That hated quarrels, strife and noise,
I left an apple, or a tart,
Or wooden gun, or painted cart.

To some I gave a pretty doll,
To some a peg-top, or a ball;
No crackers, cannons, squibs, or rockets,
To blow their eyes up, or their pockets.

No drums to stun their Mother’s ear,
Nor swords to make their sisters fear;
But pretty books to store their mind
With knowledge of each various kind.

But where I found the children naughty,
In manners rude, in temper haughty,
Thankless to parents, liars, swearers,
Boxers, or cheats, or base tale-bearers,

I left a long, black, birchen rod,
Such as the dread command of God
Directs a Parent’s hand to use
When virtue’s path his sons refuse.

QUOTE: "Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." ~ Dennis Miller