Friday, June 25, 2021

Why (Annie Lennox)


No additional nor explanatory words from me today... but it is indeed Feel Good Friday, and I have some wonderful links to share.  As is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy! 

Silver LiningsThe pandemic obliged—or enabled—many women to go gray. They’re still reckoning with the transformation.


~ Every song of the summer from the past 45 yearsEvery year, there's a battle to see which song can claim the title of "the song of the summer."...  The jury is still out on which song will be this year's biggest hit, but we used Billboard's charts to choose the highest-ranking summer song for each year.  Whether or not you agree with the top song, here are the No. 1 summer songs from 1975 to 2020.


~ Victoria's Secret is overhauling its image. Is it enough to regain relevance?  Less than two years after Victoria's Secret pulled the plug on its star-studded annual fashion show, known for runway looks that combined strappy lingerie with enormous wings, the brand is retiring its supermodel "Angels" for good.


Summer reading: the 50 hottest new books everyone should read:  From missing lighthouse keepers to the healing power of trees ... 50 new fiction and nonfiction books to enjoy. Plus recent paperbacks to pack and the best children’s stories (thanks to SandyA for the heads-up!)


Why Won’t Anyone Help Me in This Sex Shop?  At 83, and legally blind, I could use some assistance.


SONGWhy by Annie Lennox

BOOKLittle Kids First Big Book of Why by Amy Shields

POEM:  Why by Robert Funge

You could call me obsessed
or a fool. There’s no future
turning your insides out
arranging words until they’re
comfortable with each other.
And the pay! Just this morning
a check arrived in the mail
for fifteen dollars, for a poem
it took forty years to write.
Standing on the corner
looking hungry and tired, the
Veteran of a Thousand Wars
does better on a bad day.
I show you
how I feel inside, how my daughter
whores for drug money, and my son
ransoms his future for a soul.
I tell you how my father
forgot my name, and my mother
went to the electric table
to have her mind rearranged.
I tell you how I prayed for grace
and was given pain, to show
that all prayers are answered.
I’ve shown you how I died
three times, yet here I am,
Lazarus and Buddha, my
victim and savior. All this
for fifteen dollars and a year’s
subscription. If I didn’t have a job
at the factory, sweeping floors
on the graveyard shift …
And I’ve shown
where I buried myself, covered
my walls with books and paintings,
how I talk to them and they say
This is what you’ve always wanted.
I am my prisoner and my warden.
I tell you how a passing image
makes me rise, and how love
leaves me cold. I sleep alone
in a king-size bed
and spill myself. I confess
in public. I publish my shame.
I don’t judge anymore.
I’ve forgotten how to pray, unless
this is a prayer.
And now I arrange my life
in code, knowing you decipher
more than I show.
They can keep
their fifteen dollars. They insult me!
All I want from life
is sainthood and some poems
that will last. I lied early:
the future is all there is. My gift
is my present to myself, this day’s
condensation of memory.
It saves my life.

[Robert Funge: “I live alone in a library. I’m retired and busier than ever. I write poems to make sense of the past, and because it’s fun. Always both. These poems reflect his life, his imagination and his idiocrasy.”]

QUOTE:  "
The more often we see the things around us - even the beautiful and wonderful things - the more they become invisible to us. That is why we often take for granted the beauty of this world: the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds - even those we love. Because we see things so often, we see them less and less." ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

Thursday, June 24, 2021

Just Like That (Rachel Bissex)

[me, Dar, Reba:  Road Trip to St. Augustine for Dar's March 12, 2020 concert... the day before the world locked down for COVID]


R.I.P. dear friend; I found out about her passing from a post to the sf_folk list a week ago tonight.  The news hit me hard, and I continue to grieve as well as be comforted by the memories.  It is hard to imagine a world without 
Reba Heyman.  I remembered writing the following to a friend in late-August 2020 and, rather than reinvent the wheel, decided to copy and paste here:

"Before I get in the bath, I wanted to give you some backstory about Reba, and what I was doing today.

I first met Vic and Reba Heyman at the Albuquerque Folk Alliance in February 1999 (my first national conference, if you recall).  Vic and Reba were/are folk royalty.  Based out of Rockville Maryland, they have been on the folk scene for decades, financing many artists' CDs, not to mention careers.  

They are long-time fans of Dar Williams and, when Rachel Bissex passed away in February 2015, they did a tribute double-CD set, and Dar (and Patty Larkin) covered the song Rachel wrote about Vic and Reba, Just Like That.  Confused yet?

So, back to the Folk Alliance.  I crossed paths with Vic and Reba a handful of times; they always had reserved seats on the front row in all of the main showcase rooms.  When I came into one of the rooms, which was full, Reba patted the seat next to her, motioned me over, and said, "Vic is napping.  Please join me!"... and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

They started coming down for the South Florida Folk Festival each January, staying for a long weekend... and then a few weeks... and then a month... until they finally became snowbirds, arriving early-December and leaving late-March.  Vic passed away of Parkinson's Disease in January 2009, while they were still in Florida; he was in a coma a few weeks before he died, and I sat vigil with Reba a few times to keep her company, bringing sandwiches and mandarin oranges, or grapes, because I knew she wasn't leaving the room to eat.

The singer-songwriter Joel Raphael sent Reba a peace lily plant in condolence and, when she was headed back north for the spring, she asked if I would take care of it in her absence... and of course I said yes.  It is with honor as well as trepidation to have co-custody, in that, god forbid anything happens to it on my watch.  I've always sworn to myself that I would just go to the nursery, find a "color match", and no one else would be the wiser.  Thank goodness my theory has not been tested.

Reba is game for road trips, and has been my road buddy all the way to St. Augustine (twice) to see Richard Shindell and Dar Williams (stories for another time).  When she is in town, we do lunch regularly (at least we did, pre-pandemic), and concerts, and dinners with friends.  She turned 83 in March (2020).

She was in Florida when the coronavirus hit, and I checked in with her a few times a week, and asked her to send me her grocery list weekly, so that I could order via Instacart and then deliver to Plantation (about 25 minutes north), sitting on her patio and visiting a while after she put her perishables away.  She was grateful and I was glad to do it, thinking that, if my Mom were still alive, I would love to envision someone doing it for her.  She is fun, and funny, and good company, and often tells the same story, but 80% of the time I let her, and the other 20%, I say, "I love that story!".

Reba decided to go back to Maryland in early-July, one of the main reasons being that she was terrified to be here for hurricane season.  She hadn't been home more than two weeks when she slipped and fell on her stairs, breaking her shoulder, ending up in the hospital (thankfully no surgery required), then to a relative's home, then back to her house with around-the-clock home health aides.  Now her daughter Judy, who lives in San Francisco, has asked Reba to come stay with her (not sure if temporary or permanent), and she'll be flying out September 8.

All this to say (whew!), Reba is giving up her apartment in Florida, and has asked me and Dave to be in charge of sending clothes and special artwork to Judy's... and then distributing the remainder of dishes, glassware, CDs, furniture, lamps, etc. as we see fit... and today was Phase I.  We were super-productive, and we're going back tomorrow.  Yes, it's a lot of work... but it's Reba.

And that's why I'm taking a bath... :-) "

There is more to the story, but I just don't have the heart or the energy to finish it now.  Although I intuited from recent interactions that she was declining, Reba's death was unexpected, sudden, and heartbreaking.  I am inconsolable... and now I have full custody of the peace lily... ☮⚘


SONG
:  
Just Like That by Rachel Bissex (Rachel wrote this song about Vic and Reba... and Dar Williams covered it on Remembering Rachel, a tribute put together after Rachel's death, which Vic produced/assembled/publicized)... 💕

BOOK:  Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

POEM:  While I Wait by Brooke James

At the sidewalk café
a white-haired man
asks for coffee, hot,
cream, no sugar.

His daughter touches his sleeve
and points—the cranberry scones 
in the glass case—
your favorite, remember?

His granddaughter splashes
in the ceramic dog bowl 
brimming with cool water 
on the porch step

where I sit shielding my eyes 
from the sun with a menu,
the salmon pink impatiens
in the clay pots tremble 

when a concrete mixer rumbles by,
spinning its vanilla and orange striped drum.
Look, I whisper to the little girl,
a swirled ice cream cone on wheels. 

Late August drifts by,
settles on my sun-warmed knees.
A friend of mine died 
last week, I say to no one

as I wait for you to cross the street,
waving as you come.

[Brooke James: “The poems that really stay with me are the ones in which the big and small moments of life intermingle. This is what I attempted to achieve with ‘While I Wait’: a late summer afternoon in a sidewalk café, made memorable by salmon pink petunias, the death of a friend, cool water in a dog bowl, and you crossing the street to meet me, your hand outstretched in greeting.”]

QUOTE:  "The meaning of life is to give and receive love.  Everything else is just the stage to do this on." ~ Sheryl Cattell