Double Vision (Foreigner)

Well, this was supposed to be a post about my "resolutions" for the New Year but, as we all know (thanks to John Lennon), life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.  Long Story Short:  everything's okay, but I was in the hospital for 48+ hours.

Long Story Long:  I suggest you make yourself a cup of hot tea (or pour a glass of wine) and pull up a chair.  We're going to be here a while!

I started with blurry vision earlier in the day on New Year's Eve, which I chalked up to eyestrain (hey, I *did* read 100 books in 2020, right?... 😃)  Thought I could go to sleep and wake up fine.  The next morning, it was not only still there, but it was worse.  Gave it another day and, when it had not improved, I decided to visit the Urgent Care across the street (Saturday, January 2).  Obviously Chico had to drive me as I could not and, of course during these COVID times, he was not allowed to stay with me, so I told him to go home, and promised to keep him posted.  I assumed they would give me some eyedrops, and let me go home.  Wrong!

When they checked me in, one of the first things they did was take my blood pressure, which was crazy high; I do have "white coat" reactions anyway, but this was beyond that, so they did an EKG immediately (which was normal).  Swooped me back to a curtained room, hooked me up to a heart monitor and a blood pressure cuff, started an IV port, and gave me an injection of Labetalol.

[Aside:  when I visited my primary care P.A. in mid-October, my blood pressure as well as blood sugar was higher than she wanted it to be, and she prescribed medication.  I, however, wanted to try to bring everything down through diet and exercise, so I didn't fill the prescriptions.  I've also been vegan for 3 1/2 years, and although my food choices are not perfect, I thought they were pretty d*mn good, but I tweaked them a bit anyway.  I also started walking an hour a day then which, in retrospect, probably saved me!] 

When my blood pressure didn't come down substantially, they decided to transfer me to Memorial West Hospital, about 10 minutes down the road (mandatory to give me a COVID test before doing that; next-day results were negative).  I was thinking my husband could just pick me up and drive me over there, but nooooo... it had to be by ambulance, with the siren blaring.  It seemed excessive and laughable; I was feeling no adverse health effects, other than the vision issue, which had now been put on the back burner due to the suspected hypertension and pre-diabetes (determined by a blood test).

I saw more health care professionals in two days than I did in the entirety of 2020.  In addition to the EKG, I also had an echocardiogram, as well as a CT scan (hilarious, because they made me take off all my jewelry which, for those who know me, realize what an ordeal that was:  a watch, four bracelets on each arm, two rings on my left hand, one ring on my right hand, three necklaces, three earrings in *each* ear, and a nose ring!).

Finally moved me to a *real* room at 11 p.m. Saturday night, which was great because they removed the blood pressure cuff and gave me a portable heart monitor, meaning I could move around/go to the bathroom without having to ask anyone to unhook as well as hook me back up (as I had to in the ER).  

There was a mix-up with my nutritional needs the first morning I was there because, even though Vegan Diet was in my patient chart and on the whiteboard in my room, I received eggs (twice).  Then I got a phone call from Bianca, the hospital dietitian, who straightened it out, and provided me with lovely vegetable options the remainder of my stay (hooray!).  Also, Sarah put together (and dropped off) a goody bag for me of bananas, peanut butter, an avocado, and a delicious Parlour Vegan sandwich to make sure I was set.

Sunday morning, a neurologist stopped by, and said:  "it's not a tumor, it's not an aneurysm, it's not a stroke" (thankyoujesus!)... and proceeded to tell me exactly what it *was*:  Left Cranial Nerve VI Palsy which, in my case, was triggered by the high blood pressure and, according to reports:  "in many patients, 6th cranial nerve palsies resolve once the underlying disorder is treated. Idiopathic palsy and ischemic palsy usually abate within 2 months".

A few observations, and then I will wrap this up!

During my hospital stay, I kept hearing 10-second clips of two songs throughout the day, and finally asked one of the nurses:  Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is played when a baby is born... and the Theme Song to Rocky when a COVID patient goes home.  Joy and Happy Tears... 💞

My husband texted me late Saturday night, while I was still in the ER waiting for a room:

Chico:  The apartment is a very lonely place right now.  I hope you can get some sleep.  Sending you a big hug while watching the end of Notting Hill with the song She in the background.

Me:  I'm just a girl, hooked up to a blood pressure monitor, waiting to regain my perfect vision... 😁

 

We had a running family text thread (Chico, Sarah, Rob, and Eric) of love, concern, and support... which sustained me throughout.  I am grateful to have such a wonderful family (as well as my sister and brother, and other near-and-dear friends I kept in the loop).

I honestly felt great the entire time (except for that pesky blurred/double vision), and the whole experience recalibrated my thoughts/attitude.  I am used to having one of my family members in the hospital bed and, being their advocate, sleeping in the crappy recliner.  Now that the situation was reversed, yes... it was hard not having anyone by my side, but I kept thinking of those with COVID or other more serious illness, not able to have their loved one(s) nearby.  My main goal was to remain patient and low-maintenance; I really only needed a large cup of ice every few hours so I could stay hydrated.  I also never watched one minute of TV, because my brain was already so overloaded and I used it as a Zen moment/long weekend... ☮

Also, it is painfully obvious that all of the nurses/staff are overworked and overstressed.  *Most* are beyond compassionate and empathic, and there were a few who lapsed into negative and judgy behavior.  I will leave it at that for now, but I do have examples.

"Only to find Gideons Bible"... 😆

The hospital doctor came in the morning of Monday, January 4 and announced that I was being discharged about lunchtime, which really meant 4:30 p.m., but that's okay because I was finally getting sprung.  Ah, home to my own bed and pillow (substantially better than the standard-issue pancake-thin facsimiles they provide!).  My takeaways:

~ This was all one big fat f*cking wake-up call, meaning I am now on medication as well as much more carefully watching my food choices.  No more processed/convenience foods; reminding myself that Vegan = Whole Food Plant Based.

~ It was recommended by the neurologist that I use a patch throughout the day, alternating between eyes to strengthen both.  Walked yesterday, sans patch, which was tricky, but I *needed* to get back into my routine, so I'm taking it slowly.  Also, I am not "allowed" to drive for a while, so I had to ask Chico to return my library books.  I f*cking hate being dependent on others for anything.  Grrr.

~ I kept my phone on mute the whole time I was in the hospital, and will continue that habit most of the day.  Normally my cell sounds like a 7-11 (ding ding ding!), which is very stressful.  I have learned that most things can wait, and rarely does anyone need an immediate turnaround time.

~ For now, I am switching to decaf coffee because of the high blood pressure issues.  Can't hurt, might help, right?

~ Also, this article popped up yesterday (Whole Foods CEO Takes Heat for Saying the Best Healthcare Solution Is 'to Change the Way People Eat') and... I don't think he's wrong (there are obvious exceptions for COVID, etc.).  Mostly, we really are what we eat!

NR:  Actually, nothing right now, as I need to concentrate on getting my vision back, which will happen if I follow the recommendations I've noted above.  My intention was that A Promised Land by Barack Obama would be my first book of 2021, but that seems pretty daunting, considering.  Setting manageable goals so I can get back on the Goodreads train as soon as possible.  Right now I'm attempting to process Your Body in Balance: The New Science of Food, Hormones, and Health by Neal D Barnard MD FACC, Lindsay Nixon (Contributor) 

SONG:  Double Vision by Foreigner (those of you know me, and aware of my "distaste" for one-word-named 80s bands, are probably laughing your *sses off now... 😲 )

BOOK:  Dream It. Pin It. Live It.: Make Vision Boards Work for You by Terri Savelle Foy

POEM:  Allow by Danna Faulds

There is no controlling life.

Try corralling a lightning bolt,

containing a tornado.  Dam a

stream and it will create a new

channel.  Resist, and the tide

will sweep you off your feet.

Allow, and grace will carry

you to higher ground.  The only

safety lies in letting it all in –

the wild and the weak; fear,

fantasies, failures and success.

When loss rips off the doors of

the heart, or sadness veils your

vision with despair, practice

becomes simply bearing the truth.

In the choice to let go of your

known way of being, the whole

world is revealed to your new eyes.

QUOTE:  “Time and patience are the strongest warriors.” ~ Leo Tolstoy

High Steppin' (The Avett Brothers)

[ Thanks so much to my friend MegHS for this picture!  She knew how much I loved the one of the Boston Common ducklings wearing pussy hats a few years ago, and this was a very thoughtful share...  :-) ]

Emotions are running high, with family as well as friends and, when the going gets tough, the tough go into roly-poly mode... except that yesterday I needed groceries and had vowed not to step foot in a store until all this is over.  I've been talking about using Instacart and finally signed up ($99 annual fee; peace of mind priceless).  Placed two orders, one for our household and one for my friend R (a snowbird who is "stuck" here until things are improved enough for her to go home to Maryland).  The process is easy-peasy, choosing items from the Publix website to add to your cart (they even give you a heads-up when something is BOGO, so you can add the second item to qualify). The app tells you when your shopper is in the store, what they suggest as a replacement (if your first choice is not available), when they are checking out, and when they are on the way to your home.  Instacart adds a 5% tip (which goes to the shopper) to the credit card you have on file, and Googling the process recommends adding another 5% in cash at the door (gladly).  This is a gamechanger!  Lysa was amazing.  She made substitutions where necessary, was so nice, and complimented us on our healthy eating, despite the Wise chips variety pack (I give my husband the non-vegan ones) and the Sweet Lorens cookie dough on the list!  We are stocked up for at least another two weeks.

Confession that, in addition to the earrings I bought a few weeks ago on Amazon, I also purchased The newest Avett Brothers CD, Closer Than Together, and the round-trip of delivering R's groceries was the perfect time to give it a listen.  Wow!  I could probably use each and every song as a title for the next 12 blog posts (is that a challenge, Susan?).  I segued from sniffling to welling to full-out weeping.  I enjoyed an all-Avett-Brothers Spotify playlist on my walk yesterday afternoon, and my legs were already twitching to pound the pavement, especially to such thoughtful music.

P.S.  Whenever I am on my way to pick up (for a music- or food-related outing), or drop off something, I always text R that I am "crossing Cleary" (the main street near her home) to let her know I am close.  She suggested we write a song with that title.  It could very well happen...  :-)

SONG:  High Steppin' by The Avett Brothers

BOOK:  Make Way for Ducklings 75th Anniversary Edition by Robert McCloskey

POEM:  When Giving Is All We Have by Alberto Ríos

                                              One river gives
                                              Its journey to the next.

We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.

We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.

We have been better for it,
We have been wounded by it—

Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet,
Big, though small, diamond in wood-nails.

Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too,
But we read this book, anyway, over and again:

Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand,
Mine to yours, yours to mine.

You gave me blue and I gave you yellow.
Together we are simple green. You gave me

What you did not have, and I gave you
What I had to give—together, we made

Something greater from the difference.

QUOTE:  "To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him." ~ Buddha

Surrender (Burns Sisters)

DailyOm
January 14, 2010
The Wisdom of Surrender
Relying on Others

Most of us pride ourselves on our self-sufficiency. We like to be responsible for taking care of ourselves and pulling our own weight in the world. This is why it can be so challenging when we find ourselves in a situation in which we have to rely on someone else. This can happen as the result of an illness or an injury, or even in the case of a positive change, such as the arrival of a newborn. At times like these, it is essential that we let go of our feeling that we should be able to do it all by ourselves and accept the help of others.

The first step is accepting the situation fully as it is. Too often we make things worse either by trying to do more than we should or by lapsing into feelings of uselessness. In both cases we run the risk of actually prolonging our dependency. In addition, we miss a valuable opportunity to practice acceptance and humility. The ego resists what is, so when we move into acceptance we move into the deeper realm of the soul. In needing others and allowing them to help us, we experience the full realization that we are not on our own in the world. While this may bring up feelings of vulnerability, a deep feeling of gratitude may also emerge as we open to the experience of being helped. This realization can enable us to be wiser in our service of others when we are called upon to help.

It takes wisdom and strength to surrender to our own helplessness and to accept that we, just like every other human being, have limitations. The gifts of surrender are numerous. We discover humility, gratitude, and a deepening understanding of the human experience that enables us to be that much more compassionate and surrendered in the world.

A quick follow-up on my doctor visit of a month ago, to get the results of the blood and urine tests I took - suffice it to say I was more than a bit worried about the outcome... but everything actually turned out okay...

After being on the blood pressure medicine for four weeks, my blood pressure was perfect - yay! My blood sugar was great, which was a huge whew!... as diabetes runs in my family - my cholesterol was on target too (169... recommended is below 200), another relief. My calcium and Vitamin D were both a bit low, so she suggested supplements of both - also, I showed borderline-hypothyroidism (low), and she felt a thyroid medication to shift my metabolism back where it should be was indicated. Interestingly, I have felt much more energy since beginning the pills (lowest dosage, once a day), which is a nice change of pace - I think that's helped balance my emotional peace of mind as well...

I still need to schedule appointments for a mammogram, a bone density test, a colonoscopy and a chest x-ray (because of mom's pulmonary issues) - I've been involved in the planning stages of a busy music weekend here in South Florida... but I promise to... what, Susan?... follow through!... and will make those calls first thing next week... :-)

SONG: Surrender by Annie Burns

BOOK: Small Wonder: Essays by Barbara Kingsolver

POEM: Primary Wonder by Denise Levertov

Days pass when I forget the mystery.
Problems insoluble and problems offering
their own ignored solutions
jostle for my attention, they crowd its antechamber
along with a host of diversions, my courtiers, wearing
their colored clothes; cap and bells.
And then
once more the quiet mystery
is present to me, the throng's clamor
recedes: the mystery
that there is anything, anything at all,
let alone cosmos, joy, memory, everything,
rather than void: and that, O Lord,
Creator, Hallowed One, You still,
hour by hour sustain it.

QUOTE: "We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." ~ Jawaharlal Nehru

Cinnamon Girl (Neil Young)

This is embarrassing to admit... but, other than a few bouts with strep throat in the past, I haven't been to a real doctor for a thorough check-up in over five years - I know, I know... shame on me...

My dear daughter has been nudging, nagging and nipping at my heels (understandably so - she's worried)... and I finally went last Friday - knock on wood, all seemed to go fairly well, although I'll go back in two weeks for urine and blood test results. One thing that did concern them was that my blood pressure was high - they checked it twice, did an EKG (which showed nothing, thank goodness) and sent me home with a low-dosage blood pressure medication. I've of course been doing some research on hypertension and medical side effects... and discovered that daily usage of cinnamon can be very helpful in healing this health issue - this cracks me up, as I've had a reputation for years as a cinnamon lover, craving it on/in anything! Now I'm just going to have to choose it sprinkled in my oatmeal or yogurt, over apples or in my tea... rather than in breakfast rolls, cake or toast - I can do this...

I also have "prescriptions" to get a mammogram, a bone density test and a colonoscopy (all standard tests for a woman in her mid-50's) - my gynecologist appointment (for a routine pap smear) is scheduled for the first of the year... and I know I need to see a dermatologist then too (South Florida sun can be harmful to the skin - major understatement). It is empowering to make these forward steps... and I was already feeling the need to do a better job of taking care of myself, after spending all summer taking care of mom - the doctor even made mention of the fact that givers have a hard time receiving (even though this was her first time meeting me, she had me pegged). I started crying - it's all still so fresh... but I want and need to change... now... not just for myself, but for my spouse, my children and my circle of friends...

I'm also still walking almost 3 miles a day, 6 days a week - if I could be smarter with my food choices... and limit my food portions, I'd make some serious progress toward looking and feeling better...

SONG: Cinnamon Girl by Neil Young

BOOK: Cinnamon: Spices of Life by Barbara Wexler

POEM: Lessons by Pat Schneider

I have learned
that life goes on,
or doesn't.
That days are measured out
in tiny increments
as a woman in a kitchen
measures teaspoons
of cinnamon, vanilla,
or half a cup of sugar
into a bowl.

I have learned
that moments are as precious as nutmeg,
and it has occurred to me
that busy interruptions
are like tiny grain moths,
or mice.
They nibble, pee, and poop,
or make their little worms and webs
until you have to throw out the good stuff
with the bad.

It took two deaths
and coming close myself
for me to learn
that there is not an infinite supply
of good things in the pantry.

QUOTE(S): “I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.” ~ Ellen DeGeneres

“It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t. It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.” ~ James Gordon

Button Up Your Overcoat (DeSylva, Brown, Henderson)

Last night my husband and I did indeed go out to dinner (Kamado's, a local Chinese/Japanese restaurant... delicious) and a movie (Seven Pounds... thought-provoking) and were home by 11:45 p.m., whereupon we opened a bottle of ruby spumante and had time enough for a toast, a few sips and multiple kisses before midnight struck - we then went out on the patio (with re-filled glasses and the bottle) and proceeded to stretch out on lounge chairs and watch/listen to the (next door and across-the-street) neighborhood display of fireworks... some of them dinky (roman candles and sparklers) and some quite impressive (think Apocalypse Now!).

We had called my mom and R's stepmom earlier in the evening... and then phoned all three of our children a bit after the ball dropped - one answered and wished us a Happy New Year in return... and for the other two we left voicemails. We then retired for the evening, taking advantage of the fact everyone else was out of the house - sweeeet... :-)

We'll get the family together over here about 5 this afternoon for drinks (I have another bottle of champagne in the fridge) and appetizers (as yet to be determined) - ringing in the New Year doesn't have to take place at the stroke of midnight to be meaningful...

So... after much pondering and soul-searching and contemplation (oh my!), I've determined that my Word of the Year for 2009 is... drumroll, please... Health, in all its many definitions: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual - in this whirlwind of a life I have (which remains lovely and satisfying, despite the madness and sorrow), I've not been doing such a good job of taking care of myself (major understatement)...

In 2009, I vow to do the following to restore and maintain my Health:

Physical: take my multi-vitamins every d*mn day; walk/exercise 5 days a week (including as-soon-as-I-get-out-of-bed morning stretches); plan and stick to a sensible eating program (a Life Style Change... not a Diet!); be in the bed as close to midnight as I can possibly manage; make and follow through with all the medical (doctor and dentist) appointments I've managed to back-burner for the last mumblemumble years...

Emotional: nurture important relationships, let non-functioning ones go; say what I mean, mean what I say, and do what I say I'm going to do; trust my intuition; choose joy...

Mental: more reading for pleasure, less computer time; remember the value of setting boundaries ("just say no"); honor the value of deadlines (my own and anyone else who is depending on me); seek out and embrace challenges...

Spiritual: I actually feel pretty on-track here, fulfilled with services/community at my local UU church (where I'm the Sunday Services Committee chair, as well as the promoter/producer of our monthly folk/acoustic concert series) - however, I would also like to make space each day for meditating/quiet time (something I always mean to do, but never seem to make happen); my new mantra (gleaned from a 2009 Live with Intention calendar I bought for myself a few months ago)... "Expect this to be a day of healing, awareness, harmony and gentle order." ~ Naomi C. Rose...

I am only 54 and should have a few more decades ahead of me (barring unforeseen circumstances), if I can be pro-active about my health, rather than allowing it to come last in every list of priorities I've ever made - this will take faith and desire... but it will also require discipline and focus...

I'm a Leo, for god's sake - Just Do It, Susan!

SONG: Button Up Your Overcoat by DeSylva, Brown, Henderson

BOOK: This is YOUR New Year's Resolution!: A 12 Month Health Mastery Program by D Tim Labelle

POEM: New Year's Morning by Helen Hunt Jackson

Only a night from old to new!
Only a night, and so much wrought!
The Old Year's heart all weary grew,
But said: The New Year rest has brought."
The Old Year's hopes its heart laid down,
As in a grave; but trusting, said:
"The blossoms of the New Year's crown
Bloom from the ashes of the dead."

The Old Year's heart was full of greed;
With selfishness it longed and ached,
And cried: "I have not half I need.
My thirst is bitter and unslaked.
But to the New Year's generous hand
All gifts in plenty shall return;
True love it shall understand;
By all my failures it shall learn.
I have been reckless; it shall be
Quiet and calm and pure of life.
I was a slave; it shall go free,
And find sweet pace where I leave strife."

Only a night from old to new!
Never a night such changes brought.
The Old Year had its work to do;
No New Year miracles are wrought.

Always a night from old to new!
Night and the healing balm of sleep!
Each morn is New Year's morn come true,
Morn of a festival to keep.
All nights are sacred nights to make
Confession and resolve and prayer;
All days are sacred days to wake
New gladness in the sunny air.
Only a night from old to new;
Only a sleep from night to morn.
The new is but the old come true;
Each sunrise sees a new year born.

QUOTE: "Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past." ~ Henry Ward Beecher

"When the heart is at ease, the body is healthy." ~ Chinese Proverb

The Cold Song (Jewel)

Actually, there's a bit of congestion... but my true diagnosis is strep throat - I woke up with the scratchy/burning feeling Saturday morning (after feeling puny all week), which only worsened progressively. I went into work this morning and was promptly told to leave - I drove straight to the walk-in clinic where, one-hour-and-a-few-dollars-lighter later my suspicions were confirmed. I filled my antibiotic prescription immediately after, came home and told the office I'd see them Wednesday morning - I just finished eating some leftover mixed wonton and eggdrop soup Robert brought me last night (ah, the heat felt soooo good on my throat) and will head back to bed soon.

I'll use the next few forced stay-at-home recovery days to take care of myself as well as get some long-neglected tasks done around the house - I'll rue the loss of income but will take this as a sign from the Universe I'm meant to go undercover (pun intended... :-)

My blood pressure was also higher than they'd like to see, so I'll be monitoring that over the next week, in addition to reading about ways I can bring it down, hopefully without medication - can you spell W-A-K-E-U-P-C-A-L-L?

SONG: The Cold Song by Jewel

BOOK: Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing by Christiane Northrup M.D.

POEM: Making a Fist by Naomi Shihab Nye

For the first time, on the road north of Tampico,
I felt the life sliding out of me,
a drum in the desert, harder and harder to hear.
I was seven, I lay in the car
watching palm trees swirl a sickening pattern past the glass.
My stomach was a melon split wide inside my skin.
"How do you know if you are going to die?"
I begged my mother.
We had been traveling for days.
With strange confidence she answered,
"When you can no longer make a fist."
Years later I smile to think of that journey,
the borders we must cross separately,
stamped with our unanswerable woes.
I who did not die, who am still living,
still lying in the backseat behind all my questions,
clenching and opening one small hand.

QUOTE: "Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God, and value it next to a good conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of; a blessing that money cannot buy." ~ Izaak Walton

The Losing Game (Cosy Sheridan)

I shared the following with a friend yesterday:

We all know weight loss is no big secret: eat less, exercise more, voi-f*cking-la! - however, I have had no success with my efforts of the last few years, which has me even more frustrated. I keep saying I want my body back... but I'm not being pro-active enough to make it happen - I must finally take responsibility for the fact I'm an emotional eater... whether things are good or bad, I tend to celebrate my victories or drown my sorrows with food and drink.

It's all so interconnected I can't figure out how to unravel one without pulling the thread of another - then again, maybe that's the trick/key. So... I'm just going to try to concentrate on the word HEALTHY in *all* my life choices (be they meals, lifestyle habits or interpersonal relationships) - if it's not good for me, it doesn't belong in my mouth... :-)

Processed, no - natural, yes. Sedentary, no - active, yes. Hurtful words, no - positive actions, yes. Burning the candle at both ends, no - finding moderation/balance, yes. I will make a point to *ask* myself, with intention, if what I'm about to eat/do/say will delay or further my goal of health - I've already designated a signal to myself to associate with feelings of hunger/emptiness/restlessness... so I can realign my focus and keep on track.

It's *okay* to be hungry, in all senses of the word - what an epiphany...

SONG: The Losing Game by Cosy Sheridan

BOOK: Appetites: On the Search for True Nourishment by Geneen Roth

POEM: Barbie Poem by Nerissa Nields

I think that I shall never see
A woman as lovely as Barbie
Barbie, with her ski jump nose
Standing tall on tiny toes
Impossible boobs that will not droop
To conquer Ken, she need not stoop
If she were mortal, she would be
Six foot five and a hundred and three
She's so tall, I could not feel shorter
Small wonder I have an eating disorder
She sleeps in her camper next to my bed
With visions of traveling filling her head
She wishes she could sing like me
But she can't
Her mouth is painted on
And her eyes won't shut
And she never bleeds
And she never cuts
And she cannot read or count or cry
And she'll never age
And she'll never die
And I think that I don't want to be
Staring straight ahead for all eternity

QUOTE: "Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours." ~ Swedish Proverb