Double Vision (Foreigner)

Well, this was supposed to be a post about my "resolutions" for the New Year but, as we all know (thanks to John Lennon), life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.  Long Story Short:  everything's okay, but I was in the hospital for 48+ hours.

Long Story Long:  I suggest you make yourself a cup of hot tea (or pour a glass of wine) and pull up a chair.  We're going to be here a while!

I started with blurry vision earlier in the day on New Year's Eve, which I chalked up to eyestrain (hey, I *did* read 100 books in 2020, right?... 😃)  Thought I could go to sleep and wake up fine.  The next morning, it was not only still there, but it was worse.  Gave it another day and, when it had not improved, I decided to visit the Urgent Care across the street (Saturday, January 2).  Obviously Chico had to drive me as I could not and, of course during these COVID times, he was not allowed to stay with me, so I told him to go home, and promised to keep him posted.  I assumed they would give me some eyedrops, and let me go home.  Wrong!

When they checked me in, one of the first things they did was take my blood pressure, which was crazy high; I do have "white coat" reactions anyway, but this was beyond that, so they did an EKG immediately (which was normal).  Swooped me back to a curtained room, hooked me up to a heart monitor and a blood pressure cuff, started an IV port, and gave me an injection of Labetalol.

[Aside:  when I visited my primary care P.A. in mid-October, my blood pressure as well as blood sugar was higher than she wanted it to be, and she prescribed medication.  I, however, wanted to try to bring everything down through diet and exercise, so I didn't fill the prescriptions.  I've also been vegan for 3 1/2 years, and although my food choices are not perfect, I thought they were pretty d*mn good, but I tweaked them a bit anyway.  I also started walking an hour a day then which, in retrospect, probably saved me!] 

When my blood pressure didn't come down substantially, they decided to transfer me to Memorial West Hospital, about 10 minutes down the road (mandatory to give me a COVID test before doing that; next-day results were negative).  I was thinking my husband could just pick me up and drive me over there, but nooooo... it had to be by ambulance, with the siren blaring.  It seemed excessive and laughable; I was feeling no adverse health effects, other than the vision issue, which had now been put on the back burner due to the suspected hypertension and pre-diabetes (determined by a blood test).

I saw more health care professionals in two days than I did in the entirety of 2020.  In addition to the EKG, I also had an echocardiogram, as well as a CT scan (hilarious, because they made me take off all my jewelry which, for those who know me, realize what an ordeal that was:  a watch, four bracelets on each arm, two rings on my left hand, one ring on my right hand, three necklaces, three earrings in *each* ear, and a nose ring!).

Finally moved me to a *real* room at 11 p.m. Saturday night, which was great because they removed the blood pressure cuff and gave me a portable heart monitor, meaning I could move around/go to the bathroom without having to ask anyone to unhook as well as hook me back up (as I had to in the ER).  

There was a mix-up with my nutritional needs the first morning I was there because, even though Vegan Diet was in my patient chart and on the whiteboard in my room, I received eggs (twice).  Then I got a phone call from Bianca, the hospital dietitian, who straightened it out, and provided me with lovely vegetable options the remainder of my stay (hooray!).  Also, Sarah put together (and dropped off) a goody bag for me of bananas, peanut butter, an avocado, and a delicious Parlour Vegan sandwich to make sure I was set.

Sunday morning, a neurologist stopped by, and said:  "it's not a tumor, it's not an aneurysm, it's not a stroke" (thankyoujesus!)... and proceeded to tell me exactly what it *was*:  Left Cranial Nerve VI Palsy which, in my case, was triggered by the high blood pressure and, according to reports:  "in many patients, 6th cranial nerve palsies resolve once the underlying disorder is treated. Idiopathic palsy and ischemic palsy usually abate within 2 months".

A few observations, and then I will wrap this up!

During my hospital stay, I kept hearing 10-second clips of two songs throughout the day, and finally asked one of the nurses:  Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is played when a baby is born... and the Theme Song to Rocky when a COVID patient goes home.  Joy and Happy Tears... 💞

My husband texted me late Saturday night, while I was still in the ER waiting for a room:

Chico:  The apartment is a very lonely place right now.  I hope you can get some sleep.  Sending you a big hug while watching the end of Notting Hill with the song She in the background.

Me:  I'm just a girl, hooked up to a blood pressure monitor, waiting to regain my perfect vision... 😁

 

We had a running family text thread (Chico, Sarah, Rob, and Eric) of love, concern, and support... which sustained me throughout.  I am grateful to have such a wonderful family (as well as my sister and brother, and other near-and-dear friends I kept in the loop).

I honestly felt great the entire time (except for that pesky blurred/double vision), and the whole experience recalibrated my thoughts/attitude.  I am used to having one of my family members in the hospital bed and, being their advocate, sleeping in the crappy recliner.  Now that the situation was reversed, yes... it was hard not having anyone by my side, but I kept thinking of those with COVID or other more serious illness, not able to have their loved one(s) nearby.  My main goal was to remain patient and low-maintenance; I really only needed a large cup of ice every few hours so I could stay hydrated.  I also never watched one minute of TV, because my brain was already so overloaded and I used it as a Zen moment/long weekend... ☮

Also, it is painfully obvious that all of the nurses/staff are overworked and overstressed.  *Most* are beyond compassionate and empathic, and there were a few who lapsed into negative and judgy behavior.  I will leave it at that for now, but I do have examples.

"Only to find Gideons Bible"... 😆

The hospital doctor came in the morning of Monday, January 4 and announced that I was being discharged about lunchtime, which really meant 4:30 p.m., but that's okay because I was finally getting sprung.  Ah, home to my own bed and pillow (substantially better than the standard-issue pancake-thin facsimiles they provide!).  My takeaways:

~ This was all one big fat f*cking wake-up call, meaning I am now on medication as well as much more carefully watching my food choices.  No more processed/convenience foods; reminding myself that Vegan = Whole Food Plant Based.

~ It was recommended by the neurologist that I use a patch throughout the day, alternating between eyes to strengthen both.  Walked yesterday, sans patch, which was tricky, but I *needed* to get back into my routine, so I'm taking it slowly.  Also, I am not "allowed" to drive for a while, so I had to ask Chico to return my library books.  I f*cking hate being dependent on others for anything.  Grrr.

~ I kept my phone on mute the whole time I was in the hospital, and will continue that habit most of the day.  Normally my cell sounds like a 7-11 (ding ding ding!), which is very stressful.  I have learned that most things can wait, and rarely does anyone need an immediate turnaround time.

~ For now, I am switching to decaf coffee because of the high blood pressure issues.  Can't hurt, might help, right?

~ Also, this article popped up yesterday (Whole Foods CEO Takes Heat for Saying the Best Healthcare Solution Is 'to Change the Way People Eat') and... I don't think he's wrong (there are obvious exceptions for COVID, etc.).  Mostly, we really are what we eat!

NR:  Actually, nothing right now, as I need to concentrate on getting my vision back, which will happen if I follow the recommendations I've noted above.  My intention was that A Promised Land by Barack Obama would be my first book of 2021, but that seems pretty daunting, considering.  Setting manageable goals so I can get back on the Goodreads train as soon as possible.  Right now I'm attempting to process Your Body in Balance: The New Science of Food, Hormones, and Health by Neal D Barnard MD FACC, Lindsay Nixon (Contributor) 

SONG:  Double Vision by Foreigner (those of you know me, and aware of my "distaste" for one-word-named 80s bands, are probably laughing your *sses off now... 😲 )

BOOK:  Dream It. Pin It. Live It.: Make Vision Boards Work for You by Terri Savelle Foy

POEM:  Allow by Danna Faulds

There is no controlling life.

Try corralling a lightning bolt,

containing a tornado.  Dam a

stream and it will create a new

channel.  Resist, and the tide

will sweep you off your feet.

Allow, and grace will carry

you to higher ground.  The only

safety lies in letting it all in –

the wild and the weak; fear,

fantasies, failures and success.

When loss rips off the doors of

the heart, or sadness veils your

vision with despair, practice

becomes simply bearing the truth.

In the choice to let go of your

known way of being, the whole

world is revealed to your new eyes.

QUOTE:  “Time and patience are the strongest warriors.” ~ Leo Tolstoy