This Time Tomorrow (Brandi Carlile)

My friend Suzanne is known for her watercolors; this is the cover of the condolence card I received from her yesterday... 😍

Those of you reading this know that I usually post an entry a bit before midnight... but I skipped yesterday; it was a busy day, good on one hand because it kept me occupied but, on the flip side, wearying.  The morning found me waking up at 7:30 and heading straight to the balcony, drinking my usual two cups of coffee and puzzling all the puzzles... then hitting the wall and decided to go back to bed about 10 a.m., which I haven't done in forever, but especially not since Eric died.

I couldn't wallow too long though, as I had offered to pick up Colin at 12:45 p.m. for Early Release Day.  He loves to hang out afterward, playing soccer or just running with the other guys, which gave me the opportunity to converse with Boy-Mom (and friend) Donna.  Headed back to Sarah's so she and Ryan could attend a Parent-Teacher Conference, then a few hours later headed to the fields for his T-ball game.  For some reason, it says 09 on the back of his jersey.  Colin told me:  "Lala, the circle in front of the nine is very confusing"... 😂

On the way back to my car after the game, I stopped at the concession stand and bought a soft pretzel for dinner although, since it was still warm and the yeasty salty aroma was permeating my car, I ate half of it on the way home (sans mustard even!).

Today I spent a lot of time on the phone... with the insurance company as well as the organization I will soon be donating funds to in Eric's memory.  It's unbelievably perfect, and I can't wait to share it here.  Also spent a good bit of time tallying Income/Expenses from the GoFundMe so we know where we stand financially, and I paid some outstanding bills.  Dying is expensive, and we remain grateful for the additional help... 💗

Going back to my first paragraph, I have decided to continue blogging daily through the month of October, and then dialing it back to weekly after that (every Tuesday seems right, but who knows?).  I need to get myself back... to the garden, as well as to Radical Self-Care in all its many forms.  "I don't know who I am but you know life is for learning", sings Joni (from Woodstock).

SONG:  This Time Tomorrow by Brandi Carlile

BOOK:  Some Perfect Tomorrow: True Stories of Hope in Loss, Love in Grief, and Life in Death by Craig R Seaton

POEM(S):  We Have Not Long to Love by Tennessee Williams

We have not long to love.

Light does not stay.

The tender things are those

we fold away.

Coarse fabrics are the ones

for common wear.

In silence I have watched you

comb your hair.

Intimate the silence,

dim and warm.

I could but did not, reach

to touch your arm.

I could, but do not, break

that which is still.

(Almost the faintest whisper

would be shrill.)

So moments pass as though

they wished to stay.

We have not long to love.

A night. A day...

Cutting Loose by William Stafford   

Sometimes from sorrow, for no reason,

you sing. For no reason, you accept

the way of being lost, cutting loose

from all else and electing a world

where you go where you want to.

Arbitrary, a sound comes, a reminder

that a steady center is holding

all else. If you listen, that sound

will tell where it is, and you

can slide your way past trouble.

Certain twisted monsters

always bar the path – but that’s when

you get going best, glad to be lost,

learning how real it is

here on the earth, again and again.

QUOTE(S):  “The secret of a full life is to live and relate to others as if they might not be there tomorrow, as if you might not be there tomorrow. It eliminates the vice of procrastination, the sin of postponement, failed communications, failed communions.” ~ Anaïs Nin 

“Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us.” ~ Steven Tyler