This Is a Life (Son Lux, David Byrne)

Thursday was very productive (I felt I was turning a corner), and today somewhat (back in Molasses Swamp).  My friend Michele sent me a beautiful dragonfly journal a few weeks ago, and I decided yesterday that, rather than recording an endless To Do List (as I've done for the last month), I would use it to spotlight my Ta-Da! accomplishments.  I filled up an entire page for Thursday; today... three items.

I did finish the Caring Community Fall 2023 newsletter, and sent it out for proofreading/review.  Considering the fact it's four weeks late (no pressure from anyone at all), I'm still proud of myself for focusing enough to move it forward.

I had every intention of making it to a Reiki Circle this evening, but I just couldn't motivate enough to leave the house.  Maybe next Friday?... 🤷

It's not even 10 p.m. and I am so tired, and very sad.  Going to bed... 😢

SONG:  This Is a Life by Son Lux, David Byrne)

BOOK:  Life After Loss: Contemporary Grief Counseling and Therapy by Jackson Rainer

POEM(S):  Prayer to Be Changed by James Crews

I ask for just the slightest shift

in my thinking, the kindest sifting

of my busy mind so only wonder

and peace are left behind. So that

as I walk in sleet on this spring morning

I can see even these muddy ruts

made by careless trucks on the forest trail

as harbors of miracle, knowing they will

fill with enough snowmelt and rain

for tadpoles to swim in come summer,

until that sunlit instant when they feel

the flexing of legs in the water beneath them,

and leap out onto the ground, their bodies

having decided, by pure instinct alone,

to be soft and alive in this world.

The Paradox by Sarah Kay

When I am inside writing,

all I can think about is how I should be outside living.

When I am outside living,

all I can do is notice all there is to write about.

When I read about love, I think I should be out loving.

When I love, I think I need to read more.

I am stumbling in pursuit of grace,

I hunt patience with a vengeance.

On the mornings when my brother’s tired muscles

held to the pillow, my father used to tell him,

For every moment you aren’t playing basketball,

someone else is on the court practicing.

I spend most of my time wondering

if I should be somewhere else.

So I have learned to shape the words thank you

with my first breath each morning, my last breath every night.

When the last breath comes, at least I will know I was thankful

for all the places I was so sure I was not supposed to be.

All those places I made it to,

all the loves I held, all the words I wrote.

And even if it is just for one moment,

I will be exactly where I am supposed to be.

QUOTE(S):  “I had my own notion of grief.  I thought it was the sad time that followed the death of someone you love.  And you had to push through it to get to the other side.  But I'm learning there is no other side.  There is no pushing through.  But rather, there is absorption.  Adiustment.  Acceptance.  And grief is not something you complete, but rather, you endure.  Grief is not a task to finish and move on, but an element of yourself, an alteration of your being.  A new way of seeing.  A new definition of self.” ~ Gwen Flowers  

“The urge to transform one's appearance, to dance outdoors, to mock the powerful and embrace perfect strangers is not easy to suppress.” ~ Barbara Ehrenreich