Goodnight Sun (Nahko and Medicine For the People)

After Eric died, while discussing details of how to move forward, on a very practical level, we immediately thought cremation... and it was reassuring to hear Duyen confirm, in conversations with him, that was his wish.

Somewhere along the way, I got the idea (scathingly brilliant or crazy as f*ck?) that we'd obviously keep some of his ashes for us and give some to Duyen, but that I also wanted to share his ashes with family and special friends, not in a "party favors" way, but as a special memento, a way of honoring him.

So, on the morning of E's service, Chico and I set up an assembly line on our dining room table, me depositing a scoopful in a snack-sized baggie, Chico sealing each baggie, then me folding the baggie and putting it into a small tulle pouch (which I had originally bought for the bath teas I make, but ended up being too small).  The pouches were of various colors (yellow, dark blue, light green, yellow, turquoise, dark green), with a drawstring... placing them into a small totebag.

It was also cool that, while we were enacting this loving gesture, we were listening to very special music, which was originally a mixtape I made for myself (two+ decades ago) and gave a copy to my friend Michele, which she only recently crafted into a Spotify playlist and shared with me.  You will notice an ongoing symbolism and theme of sunshine throughout Eric's Celebration of Life, from the photo on the cover of the program to various other elements (plus he was a Leo, you know!).

The service ended a bit after 5 p.m. and we all spent an additional two hours eating and sharing memories of Eric.  About 6:30 I remembered the pouches and began to walk around, distributing them to those people who remained, asking them to take Eric on an adventure by sprinkling his ashes in an interesting or memorable place (if you knew Eric and didn't receive a pouch, please reach out and I'll make sure to get one to you; Michele and Judi, your pouch is in the mail!).

After we finished clearing the room, about 30 of us segued to Flashback Diner for dinner (as we'd only had light appetizers available in the room).  I passed out a few more pouches and started kidding/not kidding that we should create a website, or some format in which family and friends would be able to share their adventure with Eric (and I riffed on the Carmen Sandiego show, but using #whereintheworldisericdriskellmoss instead.  Clever, right?  And as soon as Rob and his friend Leslie got home, they came up with an Instagram page... 😍

I had deactivated my Instagram account years ago, but I made a new one yesterday *only* so I could view E's upcoming travels (I have no desire for another social media site, so I won't be interacting).  Let the Wild Rumpus Begin... 🥳

SONG:  Goodnight Sun by Nahko and Medicine For the People

BOOK:  Rising from the Ashes: The Poetry of Healing by Jasmine Williams

POEM:  comforts by Maya Stein

This tall glass of ice water. This quadrant of untamed grass. This half

of a grapefruit, pixelated with sugar. This final plank of an empty dock. This red-hued living room.

This carved rhinoceros from a place where the real thing runs wild. This echo of a laugh,

a touch, a conversation that turned the world upside down. This piece of lined paper. This single bloom

from a late summer garden, tucked inside a thin vase. This teeming silence. This warmth. This brief break

between disruptions. This sprawl of newspaper on the porch. This blank canvas. This tube of paint.

This back road squirreling a mountain range. This maple donut filled with custard. This soup you'll make

when your father comes to visit. This five-dollar bill found after two loads of vacation wash. This faint

smell of mint coming back from a run. This atlas on the driver's seat. This curtain parting from the stage.

This tree angling its leaves toward autumn. This story birthed from ashes. This unstoppable turning of the page.

QUOTE(S):  "As I wept in the arms of darkness, I heard the voice of my grandmother say, "nothing stays the same, darling, not even pain."  Life is a path of change.  Of ecstasy and ache.  So, no matter what the storm claims, let love light the way." ~ Tanya Markul

“In one of those stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry