My Friends/Arrival (Dar Williams)

[Eric is in the back row, holding a red Solo cup, something blue around his neck, surrounded by his amazing peeps... 🙈🙉🙊]

Yes, it's earlier than I usually post.  I might actually get in the bed before midnight.  What a concept, right?  I am tired... drained... empty.  I have been doing my very best to be present for Eric throughout this process, but it's so incredibly exhausting.

The peopling continues, as I slowly let in those who have allowed me to keep my distance for the last two weeks.  Today was Laurie... long-time friend, singer-songwriter, confidante.  She and her partner Dana have been out west for most of the summer, and are now traveling home.  They will be performing at a house concert the evening of E's Celebration of Life, and I love the idea there will be music in Texas as well as here in Florida to honor my boy (if she had been home in time, I would have asked her to sing for the service).  

Tonight was my book club meeting and, because it takes place over Zoom, I thought I could... but I couldn't.  I am beyond grateful for everyone's love, support, virtual hugs, real hugs, GoFundMe donations, purple candle intentions, texts, e-mails, condolence cards, and whatever else my brain fog has inadvertently forgotten.  I know they (you) have been there for me as soon as they (you) heard about Eric's passing, and everyone will continue to be.  And the beat goes on.  Except it doesn't.  Not for a while.

We have a convergence of out-of-town family and friends starting tomorrow with Linda and Craig's arrival and continuing through Sunday (a poolside gathering Friday night, E's Celebration of Life Saturday, brunch at sweet Nancy's on Sunday)... and my dear college roommate Linda (who lives in Pensacola) will stick around through Wednesday, which will be comforting.

I really am the luckiest person on the planet to have such an incredibly wide and deep support system... 💗

"But they're waiting just the same

With their flashlights and their semaphores

And I'll act like I have faith and like that faith never ends

But I really just have friends..." ~ Dar Williams, My Friends

"And in the laughing times we know that we are lucky

And in the quiet times we know that we are blessed

And we will not be alone..." ~ Dar Williams, Arrival

SONG:  My Friends by Dar Williams (covered by Kirsten Maxwell)*** / Arrival by Dar Williams

BOOK:  Lost in Translation: A Collection of Recorded Poems and Emotions by Astrora

POEM:  Praise by Kelli Russell Agodon

Find me wild about stir-fry, about red velvet

sofas and the people who sleep inside books

and dream about commas. We are flooded

with forgetfulness, with fallen plum blossoms

misspelling our names on the driveway. Praise

our too many expectations, how we overestimate

the weather, each other, overestimate how deer

will appear if we arrive with food. Because reality

can be a knife, we sometimes ache to tear open

the tea bag, the ketchup packet, because wine

arrives ready to be poured, we are foolish

and happy—though our clothes do not fit,

we return to being alive and living

between roadblocks and detours, driving

our fingers into the edge of each other’s

pockets. Praise the bare trees that tried

to spell our names for their belief

they could—spells and misspellings,

fail and fail better, how lucky we are

just to be here, both of us touching each other

through these words, with all this exasperating joy. 

QUOTE:  "I am out with lanterns looking for myself." ~ Emily Dickinson


***when you click on the link, read the comments and you will see the absolute synchronicity of this cover... 💖