Coast (Eliza Gilkyson)

Today was a win on the Grief Scale, as I finally made it "back to the garden" after a month-long absence.  Thanks and love to my Hope peeps Amber, Claire, Tim, and Kiana for their strong hugs (and Jessica's, Alejandra's, and Joe's in spirit).  I cried a lot, but they were healing tears.  I am beyond grateful to them for allowing me to honor Eric in one of my favorite places on the planet.  As long as he is remembered, he lives... 🌞

"Don't know what I'm gonna be for awhile, don't want to try to understand", sings Eliza.  Who am I?  Who *will* I be after this life-changing event?  I am in need of a trip to the beach/the coast.  I am beginning again.  TBD.

SONG:  Coast by Eliza Gilkyson

BOOK:  Lamentations of The Sea: 111 passages on grief, love, loss and letting go by BethAnne Kapansky Wright

POEM:  Wild and Precious Life by Jeannette Encinias

Begin again. 

Little moments. 

Tending to the flowers. 

Cutting the fruit. 

Opening the curtains so that the entire sky can greet you. 

It’s never easy but, no matter. 

Steam from the tea so quiet. 

An open book, and door, and arms.

You have time. 

Time to create a life that you can stand up straight in. 

Even though life may beat you down. Hard. 

Even though things, situations, and people you love may be taken away from you so that your arms can memorize the grace of letting them go. 

Even then, especially then, begin again.

Remind yourself that nothing really dies, rather, it transforms. 

Everything and everyone you have ever loved lives in the mysterious memory of your cells. 

Turning. Healing. Renewing itself. 

Until one day, a photograph of something or someone very dear, long gone, visits your mind and you bow your head with appreciation.

Meanwhile, take your pain to the sea and your trouble to the mountain. 

Leave it there and walk home clean. 

When failure knocks and rattles and quakes, let it. 

Watch it make a fresh canvas of you. 

Failure, that great teacher, is kinder if you thank her as you are getting up off the floor. 

She knows something that you don’t know: that she is usually the last face you will see before breaking through. 

Such a little light in the crack of the door.

But today, if you are wading through the waters of loss or confusion: begin again. 

Open the avocado. 

Draw the bath. 

Call your best friend. 

Gather the books. 

Play your favorite album. 

Write. 

Create art. 

Open your arms. Move your legs. 

Lovely, little blessings. 

Whispering to life that you won’t give up. Not ever.

QUOTE:  Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.." ~ Mandy Hale 

“I do believe in an everyday sort of magic – the inexplicable connectedness we sometimes experience with places, people, works of art and the like; the eerie appropriateness of moments of synchronicity; the whispered voice, the hidden presence, when we think we’re alone.” ~ Charles de Lint 

"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next." ~ Ursula K. Le Guin