Love, Love, Love (Love, Love) As Tall As Lions

Today was a hard day.  Then again, every day is a hard day (have I said this before?); it's just varying degrees.  My friend Linda said something about "grief upon grief upon grief", which seems a great descriptor to me.  How many levels of grief are there?  How much time have you got?  It feels like an archeological dig, as I navigate the layers of strata.  I have barely scratched the surface.

I had a good conversation with Sarah this morning about Life.... and then later with Rev. Amy about sound tech requirements... and somewhere in between Nance brought over some yummy pasta, which I had for both lunch and dinner.

Tomorrow will be two weeks since Eric died.  That's f*cked up.  In last night's post, I mentioned that I was going to listen to one of the two Spotify playlists of Eric's that I had downloaded.  Nope, I barely made it halfway through the first track... but, after I backed out, I scrolled through that one, and then the other... and noticed that this song appeared on each of them.  I've been waiting for E to appear to me.  I think he just did.

SONG:  Love, Love, Love (Love, Love) by As Tall As Lions

BOOK:  Remember Love: Words for Tender Times by Cleo Wade

POEM:  Mother and Son by James Crews

Though you’re gone now,

my body still remembers

being held by you that evening,

wearing my blue fleece pajamas

with a white owl on the front,

and you saying, “Who, who,”

over and over, both of us laughing

as you explained that’s the sound

owls make when they need

to find each other in the darkness 

before sleep, a way of saying:

I can’t see you, but I know 

you must be there.

[Even though Crews is writing this poem from the son's point of view, I am choosing to view it from the mom's perspective.  Reader's interpretation, right?]

QUOTE:  "Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could." ~ Louise Erdrich