Shower the People (James Taylor)

Given my devastation at J's passing, I was sure I would have a wallow week - in fact, I'd almost planned it, feeling as if I could choose to embrace my inconsolable sadness until I had could cry/tremble/shatter no more. Of course I realize emotions aren't light switches, to be turned off and on at will - despite my grief at the achingly-empty cubicle next to mine, life has crept back in. Always one to seek the silver lining, I've vowed to turn J's neglect of his own body into an even more conscious attention toward my own - I keep making, and breaking, promises to myself... but this time somehow feels different. I was furious with J for allowing his decline, depriving his friends and family of his company and comfort - I'm attempting the path of moderation again... with the incentive of health, inner and outer, to stay on track.

It's also a wake-up call to "be here now", telling the people you love, often and with feeling, how much you love them - make the moments count, because they are all we have...

SONG: Shower the People by James Taylor

BOOK: Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings by Rob Brezsny

POEM: The Perfect Day ~ Alice N. Persons

You wake with

no aches

in the arms

of your beloved

to the smell of fresh coffee

you eat a giant breakfast

with no thought

of carbs

there is time to read

with a purring cat on your lap

later you walk by the ocean

with your dog

on this cut crystal day

your favorite music and the sun

fill the house

a short delicious nap

under a fleece throw

comes later

and the phone doesn't ring

at dusk you roast a chicken,

bake bread, make an exquisite

chocolate cake

for some friends

you've been missing

someone brings you an

unexpected present

and the wine is just right with the food

after a wonderful party

you sink into sleep

in a clean nightgown

in fresh sheets

your sweetheart doesn't snore

and in your dreams

an old piece of sadness

lifts away

QUOTE: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~ Melody Beattie