Thursday, April 30, 2020

2020 Vision (Danny Schmidt)


It's April 30, the last day of National Poetry Month, and I've enjoyed discovering and sharing so many new poems, many of which were written recently about the coronavirus and its short-term as well as far-reaching effects, both positive and negative.

I am actually quite proud of my discipline in putting together a blog post every day but, at this point, I will be scaling back to three times a week:  Mindful Monday, Wholehearted Wednesday, Feel Good Friday.  CheeZy, right?  I'm okay with that...  :-)

Reminder.  Tonight!  Shelter in Poems: A Virtual Reading, Thursday, April 30, 7:30 p.m. EDT:  The evening will include poems presented by:  Elizabeth Alexander, Sam Beam, Richard Blanco, Julia Bullock, Marilyn Chin, Rita Dove, Patrick Gaspard, Amanda Gorman, Joy Harjo, Juan Felipe Herrera, Edward Hirsch, Stephin Merritt, Maulik Pancholy, Alison Pill, Dan Rather, Alberto Ríos, Mustafa Shakir, Naomi Shihab Nye, Lorna Simpson, Amber Tamblyn. and other special guests.  The event will raise funds to support our free publications and programs, including our K-12 education program. As National Poetry Month comes to a close, many of us will have weathered a month of solitude in an act of solidarity to protect each other. During these weeks, poetry has brought us all closer together, even as we remain physically apart.


About today's song, from Danny Schmidt:

2020 has been a most extraordinary and challenging year. It’s been surreal to live through, in real time, what will almost certainly be the most significant defining event of our generation . . . without the hindsight which always makes historic outcomes appear inevitable. Because while hindsight might, indeed, be 20/20 . . . the year 2020 in real time has felt incredibly blurry, distorted, twisted, and astigmatic.

But even amidst the mayhem, fear, and anxiety of the Great Uncertainty, there’s been something beautiful in witnessing eight billion people regaining their balance and reconstructing their lives all at the same time, and all on the fly. And somehow, sharing the ordeal together has created a remarkable display of resilience, creativity of human spirit, relentlessness of human connection, and given rise to an emergent new culture, self-organized from out of the chaos.

And then there's the loss. The loss of our sense of invincibility, the loss of work, of purpose, of rhythm, of independence. And of course, the actual loss of life. With a little luck and some indefinite wait, we will hopefully regain most of what we've lost when this is all over . . . as most of those things were loaned away willingly in service to protecting the one thing that sadly can never be recovered.

“2020 Vision” is a song of my reflections and impressions on what we’ve lost, what we’ve learned, and what we’ve become collectively, at this point in time, somewhere in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic of 2020.



SONG:  2020 Vision by Danny Schmidt (lyrics included in the link)

BOOK:  Poetry in the Time of Coronavirus: The Anthology by Poets of The World, G.A. Cuddy (Editor), Charlotte Knauth (Illustrator)

POEM: National Poetry Month by Elaine Equi

When a poem
speaks by itself,
it has a spark

and can be considered
part of a divine
conversation.

Sometimes the poem weaves
like a basket around
two loaves of yellow bread.

"Break off a piece
of this April with its
raisin nipples," it says.

"And chew them slowly
under your pillow.
You belong in bed with me."

On the other hand,
when a poem speaks
in the voice of a celebrity

it is called television
or a movie.
"There is nothing to see,"

says Robert De Niro,
though his poem bleeds
all along the edges

like a puddle
crudely outlined
with yellow tape

at the crime scene
of spring.
"It is an old poem," he adds.

"And besides,
I was very young
when I made it."

QUOTE:  "A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness." ~ Robert Frost

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Be Yourself (Graham Nash)

[Sorry the photo is blurry.  My excuse/reason is that it was late at night and I was tired! If you can't tell, it says:  "The purpose of life is to know yourself and love yourself and trust yourself and be yourself."...  💖 ]

Today is all about Radical Self-Care.  Then again, when isn't it?  Started out on my walk this morning, and had to turn around because of the lower back/piriformis/hip pain.  Found a wonderful yoga video for sciatica (yo, Adriene...  ;-), and did it twice!

Ordered a weighted heating pad as well as a portable massager (I miss you, Karen!) from Amazon, then took a super-hot and extra-long epsom salt bath, then made myself a large cup of hot tea, then started a new book.

Will make a chickpea meatloaf (I hear some of you saying yum, and others yuck), with brussels sprouts, corn, and wild rice for dinner tonight.  The plan is to get in the bed early, and see what tomorrow brings.  Every Day Is Day One, right?


SONG:  Be Yourself by Graham Nash

BOOK:  Your Aching Back: A Doctor's Guide to Relief by Augustus A. White III, MD [For my 60th birthday party, August 2014, I asked people to give me a copy of their favorite book, inscribed to me, explaining why they loved it.  This was from my brother...  :-) ]

POEM:  
 Caretake This Moment by Epictetus

Caretake this moment.
Immerse yourself in its particulars.
Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed.

Quit the evasions.
Stop giving yourself needless trouble.
It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you happen to be in now.
You are not some disinterested bystander.
Exert yourself.

Respect your partnership with providence.
Ask yourself often, How may I perform this particular deed
such that it would be consistent with and acceptable to the divine will?
Heed the answer and get to work.

When your doors are shut and your room is dark you are not alone.
The will of nature is within you as your natural genius is within.
Listen to its importunings.
Follow its directives.

As concerns the art of living, the material is your own life.
No great thing is created suddenly.
There must be time.

Give your best and always be kind.

QUOTE:  
“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Red Shoes (Dolly Parton)

[Yes, this is my very own collection of ruby-red footwear:  Converse, flip-flops, clogs, and (thanks to Melanie!) slippers...  :-) ]

Dolly Parton has been showing up on my radar quite regularly these days, funny in that I used to buy into the caricature she herself put out into the world, and am now worshipping at the altar of Dolly for her authenticity, intelligence, and generosity.  Thanks and love to a special person in my life for helping me see the light...  💖

Shine On, Reese Witherspoon's talk show series, excerpts of her Dolly Parton interview (see the full episode on Netflix)

Push Play (magazine article):  It is now mostly unclear why I thought it was a good idea to bring Dolly Parton’s Greatest Hits to school with me by Chris Dennis

Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library is a book gifting program that mails free books to children from birth to age five in participating communities within the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and Republic of Ireland.

Dumplin' (Netflix original movie):  Willowdean ('Dumplin'), the plus-size teenage daughter of a former beauty queen, signs up for her mom's Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant as a protest that escalates when other contestants follow her footsteps, revolutionizing the pageant and their small Texas town.

'Dream It On Through': Dolly Parton On Her New Album, Inspiring Young People And More

Brandi Carlile is a soulful American singer/songwriter. She released her self-titled album in 2005 followed by “The Story” in 2007. As a well-respected songwriter, Brandi is dedicated to lending her talents and connections to a cause much greater than herself. The album, “Cover Stories” features 14 artists, all sharing in Brandi’s passion for children impacted by world conflicts.
“The Story” – Dolly Parton (track 2)



SONG:  Red Shoes by Dolly Parton

BOOK:  Pocket Dolly Wisdom: Witty Quotes and Wise Words From Dolly Parton Hardcover by Hardie Grant Books

POEM:  How Do I Hate Thee, Quarantine? by Dolly Parton


This too shall pass
As all things will
If the virus don’t kill us
The staying home will
The kids are bored and restless
They scream and yell and squawk
And the teens and tweens
They’re just plain mean
They bite your bleeping head off
And all those loving couples
That were once so sweet and cozy
Now they fight like cats and dogs
Like Donald and Pelosi
Lord, get us back to school
And get us back to work
And get us out of this dadgum house
Before someone gets hurt
And Lord, please find a vaccination
In the form of a shot or a pill
Because if the virus don’t kill us
The staying home will

QUOTE(S):  "Go big or go home but, either way, do it in a pair of red shoes." ~ Dolly Parton


"Find out who you are, and do it on purpose." ~ Dolly Parton

Monday, April 27, 2020

Love Potion No. 9 (The Searchers)

My friend Raina Rose is a wonderful singer-songwriter, which is how I knew her first.  She played my Labyrinth Cafe concert series in April 2012, a co-bill with Rebecca Loebe, and it was such a great night, as they are also best friends!  Not sure how many years ago Raina developed what she called her "side hustle", aptly named Folk Potions.  I am all about Radical Self-Care, and highly recommend the products I have bought, which I have also sent as gifts.  The Magic Face Oil is an integral part of my morning skincare routine:

All natural, organic, small batch dreamy creams, salves and herbal-infused oils for daily + ritual use. Hand crafted in Austin, Texas by folksinger and mother of two, Raina Rose. Thoughtfully balanced and prepared with the whole family in mind. 

So, I posted before that I stopped taking Aleve for my sciatica, and was incorporating other, more natural, ways to relieve the pain.  Had an epiphany moment this past Saturday morning while out on my walk, and couldn't wait to come home and order Raina's CBD & Arnica Pain Relief Salve (I actually bought the 2-oz. tin).  There are lots of CBD products out there, but I know and trust Raina.  I reiterate:  this was mid-day Saturday.  It arrived today (Monday!), and she had included a bottle of ingestible CBD tincture, too...  :-)

Well,
I of course had to use them both immediately, applying the salve to my lower back, and putting a droplet of the tincture in my turmeric/ginger/lemon/pepper wellness shot.  I honestly can't think of the last time I felt such relaxation of my sciatica pain, even when I was taking the Aleve (which I haven't for a week now).  I am not feeling the tightness in my hamstrings nor the electric shock down the backs of my legs right now.  Her healing potions are a true gamechanger!


SONG:  Love Potion No. 9 by The Searchers

BOOK:  Wellness Witch: Healing Potions, Soothing Spells, and Empowering Rituals for Magical Self-Care by Nikki Van De Car, Anisa Makhoul (Illustrator)

POEM:  What potion should I give the night so she’ll always wonder? by Abraham Sutzkever (translated by Zackary Sholem Berger)


What potion should I give the night so she’ll always wonder?
Her pounding heart’s a rider galloping from the burning wood.

Maybe my pharmacist is awake the next street over?
In a crucible of  bone, snake tears mixed with herbs.

Should I hurry? Call the doctor? A heart like hers is rare.
And to tell the truth, if it shattered, what would I do?

QUOTE:  "My husband perpetually makes fun of me about my creams and my jars and potions and lotions, but its simpler than anyone makes it: clean, tone, keep yourself moisturized. The rest is internal: Protect yourself from the sun and drink water." ~ 
Brooke Shields

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Pleas (Widespread Panic)

From The New York Times weekend briefing:

In both red and blue states, government and health officials are finding innovative ways to cope, but still lack what experts say they need to track and contain outbreaks. And while the U.S. has made strides over the past month in expanding testing — about 1.2 million tests were done in one week alone — its capacity is nowhere near the level President Trump suggests it is.

and...

A rash of ominous new polls and President Trump’s erratic briefings have the G.O.P. worried about a Democratic takeover of both the presidency and the Senate in November if Mr. Trump doesn’t put the nation on a radically improved course.


From their mouth to goddess' ears!  Buy stock in purple candles now...  :-)



[And thanks to Melanie for this!]


SONG:  Pleas by Widespread Panic

BOOK:  Practicing Mindfulness: 75 Essential Meditations to Reduce Stress, Improve Mental Health, and Find Peace in the Everyday by Matthew Sockolov

POEM:  Things To Try That Might Knock Out the Virus* by Richard Prins

1. Chug a carton of expired milk

2. Host a nationwide pillow-fight

3. Bail out the fossil fuel industry

4. Creepy accordion music

5. Ask to speak to the virus’s manager

6. Redeem a lifetime of earnest prayer for one (1) bad-ass miracle

7. Drunk-dial your ex

8. Knock your teeth out one by one and put them inside a maraca, then scare the virus away with your snazzy, impeccable rhythm

9. Crack a dodo bird egg and drink it raw

10. Wrap your body in tin foil, like a burrito

11. Wrap your body in dental floss, like a mummy

12. Smile more often, while flagellating yourself

13. Shave your head and boil all the hairs; serve with tomato sauce and parsley

14. Dose your pets with LSD and see if they think up an out-of-the-box solution

15. Huff some toothpaste

16. Have a staring contest with a taxidermied moose

17. There’s always spontaneous combustion

18. When all else fails, steal the virus’s identity, max out all its credit cards, then marry it so it can’t testify against you

19. Did you try turning yourself off and on again?

*The author doesn’t recommend any of these activities; he’s just wondering out loud if they might work and/or being sarcastic. Quoting him, in or out of context, shall be construed as proof of bias. The U.S. Surgeon General advises forgetting everything you just read.

QUOTE:  "Re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul." ~ Walt Whitman

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Hope (Natasha Bedingfield)

You may recall my saga of The Case of the Misdirected Barnes & Noble delivery, whereupon my pre-order of Glennon Doyle's Untamed (way back in October 2019) was sent to my old house last month (I take responsibility in that I did not change the shipping address) and, through a series of human errors, was eventually sent back to the B&N warehouse.

I spent a good bit of time yesterday on hold with B&N who, when I finally got through, not only agreed to send me a replacement copy (signed, which I had ordered!), but did it through Expedited Delivery, meaning it is scheduled to arrive Monday.  I told the Customer Service representative, appropriately named Hope, that I realized this was a First World Problem, and was extremely grateful for how promptly and kindly the situation was handled...  :-)

In the meantime, my friend Michele sent me her copy, which I am now reading (and loving!), and will give to Sarah tomorrow when I see her... and will let Nancy borrow the new copy next week.

All this to say, I am about halfway through, and already weeping like a baby.  Had to share this brutiful (TM Glennon) passage:


“I can use pain to become. I am here to keep becoming truer, more beautiful versions of myself again and again forever.

To be alive is be in a perpetual state of revolution. Whether I like it or not, pain is the fuel of revolution. Everything I need to become the woman I’m meant to be next, is inside my feelings of now.

Life is alchemy and emotions are the fire that turns me to gold. I will continue to become only if I resist extinguishing myself a million times a day. If I can sit in the fire of my own feelings, I will keep becoming…

Numbness keeps us from becoming.

This is why every great spiritual teacher tells us the same story about humanity and pain: ‘Don’t avoid it. You need it to evolve to become. And you are here to become.’

Like Buddha who had to leave his life of comfort to experience all kinds of human suffering before finding enlightenment. Like Moses who wandered 40 years in the desert before seeing the promised land. Like Westley from The Princess Bride who said, ‘Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.’ Like Jesus who walked straight toward his own crucifixion.

First the pain, then the waiting, then the rising. All of our suffering comes when we try to get to our resurrection without allowing ourselves to be crucified first.

There is no glory except straight through your story.

Pain is not tragic. Pain is magic. Suffering is tragic. Suffering is what happens when we avoid pain and consequently miss our becoming. That is what I can and must avoid. Missing my own evolution because I am too afraid to surrender to the process. Having such little faith in myself that I numb or hide or consume my way out of my fiery feelings again and again.

So, my goal is to stop abandoning myself and stay. To trust that I’m strong enough to handle the pain that is necessary to the process of becoming. Because what scares me a hell of a lot more than pain is living my entire life and missing my becoming. What scares me more than feeling it all, is missing it all.”

~ Glennon Doyle, Untamed



SONG:  Hope by Natasha Bedingfield

BOOK:  Beyond Words: Daily Readings in the ABC's of Faith by Frederick Buechner

POEM:  The Celtic Prayer of Approach


I honor your gods,
I drink at your well,
I bring an undefended heart to our meeting place.
I have no cherished outcomes,
I will not negotiate by withholding, and
I am not subject to disappointment.

QUOTE(S):  “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid.” ~ Frederick Buechner

“And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.” ~ John Steinbeck

"Do the best you can until you know better.  Then when you know better, do better." ~ Maya Angelou

Friday, April 24, 2020

On Top of the World (Imagine Dragons)

[This is brilliantly creative.  Clicking to enlarge will heighten your enjoyment!  (thanks to NickA for passing it on, and to Reddit, where he got it from...  :-) ]


It's Feel Good Friday (do it twice and it's a tradition), five links to brighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy!

~ The Kirsten Maxwell Livestreaming Event, Friday, April 24 (tonight!) at 7:30 p.m.:  Kirsten Maxwell is a New York native, raised between Sunnyside, Queens and Huntington, Long Island. She attributes her love of music to her parents who met performing at the famed Amato Opera. Maxwell made her stage debut at age 5, and remained there, changing costumes and styles, exploring opera, musical theater, folk, and everything in between. Her eclectic taste and talent for switching between genres remain, but she can most often be found playing guitar and singing one of her original songs.


~ This Is Why There Is A Record-Breaking Spike In Pet Adoptions in Palm Beach County:  For the first time in its history, which stretches five decades, one of three kennels at Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control’s shelter in West Palm Beach is completely empty.


An Evening With Richard Blanco: Poems for IsolationMonday, April 27 at 6:00 p.m., Livestreamed via Crowdcast:  Miami Book Fair, the Miami Downtown Development Authority (DDA), and Books & Books invite you to a reading by Miami’s own presidential inaugural poet, Richard Blanco. Join us from your balcony, bedroom or home cocktail bar for an evening of reflection, as we celebrate poetry and its power to carry us through difficult moments. 


~ Buy Girl Scout Cookies OnlineTo protect girls and communities in the wake of COVID-19, Girl Scouts have suspended door-to-door sales and cookie booths.  But you can still buy your favorite cookies online today and have them shipped to your door—or donate cookies and we'll distribute them safely to provide comfort to first responders, volunteers, and local causes in need.  (thanks to Nance for this tip!  Yes, I ordered four boxes of Thin Mints, vegan, you know!, which are due to arrive *tomorrow* and will go straight into the freezer...  :-)


Todd Snider on John Prine: ‘I Couldn’t Believe I Knew Him’:  The Nashville songwriter on bonding with his mentor, taking him out for pizza, and that time they got lost in Europe


~ Bonus link!  Shelter in Poems: A Virtual ReadingThursday, April 30, 7:30 p.m. EDT:  The evening will include poems presented by:  Elizabeth Alexander, Sam Beam, Richard Blanco, Julia Bullock, Marilyn Chin, Rita Dove, Patrick Gaspard, Amanda Gorman, Joy Harjo, Juan Felipe Herrera, Edward Hirsch, Stephin Merritt, Maulik Pancholy, Alison Pill, Dan Rather, Alberto Ríos, Mustafa Shakir, Naomi Shihab Nye, Lorna Simpson, Amber Tamblyn. and other special guests.  The event will raise funds to support our free publications and programs, including our K-12 education program. As National Poetry Month comes to a close, many of us will have weathered a month of solitude in an act of solidarity to protect each other. During these weeks, poetry has brought us all closer together, even as we remain physically apart.



SONG:  On Top of the World by Imagine Dragons

BOOK:  A Year of Writing Dangerously: 365 Days of Inspiration and Encouragement by Barbara Abercrombie

POEM:  Thoughts After the Poem Wild Geese by Adrie Kusserow (who was inspired by Mary Oliver's poem to write a coronavirus adaptation)

You do not have to become totally zen,
You do not have to use this isolation to make your marriage better,
your body slimmer, your children more creative.

You do not have to "maximize its benefits"
By using this time to work even more,
write the bestselling Corona Diaries,
Or preach the gospel of ZOOM.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body unlearn
everything capitalism has taught you,
(That you are nothing if not productive,
That consumption equals happiness,
That the most important unit is the single self.
That you are at your best when you resemble an efficient machine).

Tell me about your fictions, the ones you’ve been sold,
the ones you sheepishly sell others,
and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world as we know it is crumbling.
Meanwhile the virus is moving over the hills,
suburbs, cities, farms and trailer parks.

Meanwhile The News barks at you, harsh and addicting,
Until the push of the remote leaves a dead quiet behind,
a loneliness that hums as the heart anchors.

Meanwhile a new paradigm is composing itself in our minds,
Could birth at any moment if we clear some space
From the same tired hegemonies.

Remember, you are allowed to be still as the white birch,
Stunned by what you see,
Uselessly shedding your coils of paper skins
Because it gives you something to do.

Meanwhile, on top of everything else you are facing,
Do not let capitalism co-opt this moment,
laying its whistles and train tracks across your weary heart.

Even if your life looks nothing like the Sabbath,
Your stress boa-constricting your chest.
Know that your antsy kids, your terror, your shifting moods,
Your need for a drink have every right to be here,
And are no less sacred than a yoga class.

Whoever you are, no matter how broken,
the world still has a place for you, calls to you over and over
announcing your place as legit, as forgiven,
even if you fail and fail and fail again.
remind yourself over and over,
all the swells and storms that run through your long tired body
all have their place here, now in this world.

It is your birthright to be held
deeply, warmly in the family of things,
not one cell left in the cold.

QUOTE:  "
Feeling good about your life, but not expressing a heartfelt 'thank you,' is like wrapping a gift for someone and never giving it to them." ~ Chip Conley

Thursday, April 23, 2020

#41 (Dave Matthews Band)

Today is Day 41 of Self-Isolation/Shelter-in-Place/Stay-at-Home, and we have left this house less than a double-handful of times, for short periods.  This is all so surreal!

Getting ready to go out for my daily walk, especially after my husband regaled me with details of the three phases of the Pandemic of 1918.  Just what I need to hear... more gloom and doom, glass not only half-empty but shattered into a bazillion pieces.  Maybe the title of this blog post should be Murder in the City (The Avett Brothers).  I would most certainly be acquitted, right?...  :-)


P.S.  Today is also Day 1 of *not* popping an Aleve as soon as I got out of bed.  More stretching, more yoga, and introducing a wellness shot twice a day (like my friend Nina makes).  Turmeric is a natural way to reduce inflammation, in addition to many other health benefits... 💓 


SONG:  #41 by Dave Matthews Band

BOOK:  A month and a day, meet April Thursday by Britney Harris

POEM:  
April Inventory by W. D. Snodgrass

The green catalpa tree has turned
All white; the cherry blooms once more.   
In one whole year I haven’t learned   
A blessed thing they pay you for.   
The blossoms snow down in my hair;   
The trees and I will soon be bare.

The trees have more than I to spare.   
The sleek, expensive girls I teach,   
Younger and pinker every year,   
Bloom gradually out of reach.
The pear tree lets its petals drop   
Like dandruff on a tabletop.

The girls have grown so young by now   
I have to nudge myself to stare.
This year they smile and mind me how   
My teeth are falling with my hair.   
In thirty years I may not get
Younger, shrewder, or out of debt.

The tenth time, just a year ago,   
I made myself a little list
Of all the things I’d ought to know,   
Then told my parents, analyst,   
And everyone who’s trusted me   
I’d be substantial, presently.

I haven’t read one book about
A book or memorized one plot.   
Or found a mind I did not doubt.
I learned one date. And then forgot.   
And one by one the solid scholars   
Get the degrees, the jobs, the dollars.

And smile above their starchy collars.
I taught my classes Whitehead’s notions;   
One lovely girl, a song of Mahler’s.   
Lacking a source-book or promotions,   
I showed one child the colors of   
A luna moth and how to love.

I taught myself to name my name,
To bark back, loosen love and crying;   
To ease my woman so she came,   
To ease an old man who was dying.   
I have not learned how often I
Can win, can love, but choose to die.

I have not learned there is a lie
Love shall be blonder, slimmer, younger;   
That my equivocating eye
Loves only by my body’s hunger;
That I have forces, true to feel,
Or that the lovely world is real.

While scholars speak authority
And wear their ulcers on their sleeves,   
My eyes in spectacles shall see
These trees procure and spend their leaves.   
There is a value underneath
The gold and silver in my teeth.

Though trees turn bare and girls turn wives,   
We shall afford our costly seasons;
There is a gentleness survives
That will outspeak and has its reasons.   
There is a loveliness exists,
Preserves us, not for specialists.

QUOTE(S):  "
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year." ~ Mark Twain

"
These days cry out, as never before, for us to pay attention, so we can move through them and get our joy and pride back." ~ Anne Lamott

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Days Like This (Van Morrison)

What a difference a day makes, indeed.  Yesterday found me in a very sad place, emotionally as well as physically.  My sciatica was really acting up, and I cried myself to sleep, feeling that I was destined to live with chronic pain and/or addiction (am I already?) to Aleve.  This morning I awoke with a fresh perspective, even more determined to use these very long days to take better care of myself.

Poured my first cup of coffee, and went out onto the balcony, where it was only 74 degrees (10 degrees cooler than yesterday morning at that time!).  Delighted that it was a perfect walking day, and I'd be foolish to squander it.  While the caffeine slowly took effect, I googled additional exercises as well as side effects of naproxen (which I have already taken for more consecutive days than is recommended), which scared the sh*t out of me.  I have become complacent about relying on medicine for relief, which must stop.  Back to alternating heat and ice, as well as yoga.  


Ten minutes of gentle stretching, then a lovely stroll around the golf course (where this much- and long-loved Van Morrison song popped up), then home to more stretching.  Get it together, Susan.  To paraphrase A League of Their Own, "there's no crying in a global pandemic"...  :-)

P.S.  Happy 50th Anniversary of Earth Day!  I was a sophomore in high school on April 22, 1970, and I remember this being a big deal.  We even started a recycling center.  I still consider myself a steward of the earth, and am very conscious of the role I play to make, and keep, this planet healthy and sustainable.



SONG:  Days Like This by Van Morrison

BOOK:  Nobody Will Tell You This But Me: A true (as told to me) story 
by Bess Kalb

POEM:  Days of Future Dwell by Samuel Amadon


A dance professor around
her white house, which
windowed, countered,
surfaced with keys, bags,

a listing a broker found
he was proud to sell.
As grass is covered
with grass that's mown,

why not be happy again
to find your schedule in
your hand, and all things
well. The squirrels leapt

off the branch that fell.
The technical part with
all the pieces lining up,
or already there, at work:

a something to do with
why I pick the tack
from the floor, why I
finger it like a shell. Say

the songs get longer and
the days--all of it--you
can hear it all coming,
if you've tied to it a bell.

QUOTE:  "People make me out to be this super strong woman, but I have my tough days just like anyone else." ~ 
Rosie Perez

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Sleeping Beauty (Tom Prasada-Rao)

Remember the sleeping spell scene in Sleeping Beauty?  

Until my retirement in late-June 2019, I led a very deadline-driven life.  I have been accused of thriving on chaos, and I have recently embraced the truth in that.  Seems that the only way I could get anything done was to fill my life with so many events and obligations that I had only a sliver of white space in my calendar, and that's where I shoehorned/crowbarred in whatever unexpectedly popped up.  Effective, yes.  Attractive, no.  I always made it happen, but at a great cost to my emotional, mental, and physical health.

Only a handful of people know this, but... my greatest fantasy, for decades, was that the whole world would go into a one-week deep freeze/sleep (except for me!), so that I could furiously catch up... on e-mails, phone calls, concert booking, work duties.

Not that I conjured this virus, but it seems my vision has come to fruition.  Not to minimize the real risks, harm, and financial setbacks associated with COVID-19, and I have immense gratitude for those who remain on the front lines of essential people... but m
ost of us are now experiencing some sort of suspended animation, during which we are being given an *opportunity* to re-calibrate our lives.  We have been offered the gift of time, which was always in short supply.  We can read, bingewatch, exercise, meditate, eat healthy, connect with family and friends (whether up-close-and-personal or from afar).  We can engage in Radical Self-Care.  All that is asked of us is to be patient and follow the rules to stay safe and well.  I am finally getting around to some projects long on my To Do List:  whittling down the e-mails in my inbox, writing in my Grandmother's Journal for Colin, fine-tuning our will, etc.

Yes, there is a tendency to go stir-crazy but, honestly, going inward will serve us well during this difficult time, re-examining our lives and tweaking how we can come out better people on the other side of this.  The struggle is real, but so is the challenge...  :-)

P.S.  Yesterday I watched Brittany Runs a Marathon on Amazon Prime, which reveals at the end of the movie that it's based on a true story.  I posted on our family group text, saying that I thought, post-coronavirus, we should run/walk a 5K together.  We're all in!



“People are getting restless,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday night of the growing social discord in the country. “Especially the people who aren’t too bright.”

Thus began a lengthy monologue from the Jimmy Kimmel Live host, during which he savagely mocked the protesters as well as President Trump for putting wind behind their sails.

“I get that people need to go back to work. I do. But the point of stay-at-home is to get a lid on this so we can get back to work, and then stay at work,” Kimmel said, before comparing the protesters—many of whom have carried signs in support of Trump—to a death cult. “I’m starting to think that these characters who support Trump might be suicidal. They seem to be fighting hardest for the things that will kill them. They want the freedom to gather in large groups during an epidemic. They want guns. They want pollution. I figured it out. They want to die, and they’re taking us down with them. It’s like if the Titanic was headed towards the iceberg, and half of the passengers were like, ‘Can you please speed this thing up?’”


SONG:  Sleeping Beauty by Tom Prasada-Rao

BOOK:  Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann

POEM:  Notes to Myself During National Poetry Month, 2020 by Dante Di Stefano


Remember, bluets still sprout
beneath your boots
when you take your daughter
for a walk by the river.

Even though an orange snow fence
surrounds the jungle gym
in the park down the street,
there’s the low fork
of a young oak to sit her in.

Remember, even if the hoops
have all been unscrewed
from the backboards,
you can still feign a hook shot for her.

Remember, if the balcony
is closed,
sing through the wall.

Find the riot, unquelled,
in the cherry blossom’s center.

Remember, beneath each scarf,
bandanna, and surgical mask,
there is a throat
that might break into sudden
surprising aria.

Remember, how astonished
your daughter is
at motorcycles and ladybugs,
a pebble she finds
in a neighbor’s driveway,
the stars, the moon, mayflies,
streetlights seen from
the window before bed.

Remember, the image of
your wife’s brown hair
sprawled on the pillow
in the blue hour
of any morning
is worth more
than all your poems.

Remember, even an angry word
from her
is worth more than
the best line of poetry
you have ever read.

Remember, your poems
cannot shelter you,
or make a roof
for the ones you love.
Remember, the earth’s
sole vocation is to astonish.

Remember, the angels of the earth
choir themselves
with mouths full of sod.

Remember, glaciers melt,
oceans rise,
coastlines recede.

Remember, everything can happen
at once and always,
and God, and heaven, and hell.

Remember, the world is
inside you,
the meadow between
one clover and one bee.

Remember, the world is sweet
and spinning, still.

QUOTE:  "Let the great world spin for ever down the ringing grooves of change." ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

Monday, April 20, 2020

30-50 Feral Hogs (Eliot Bronson)

I'm tired today.  Didn't even go out walking yesterday, although at day's end, I regretted it.  Just felt I needed a bit of a break, and I have to be gentle with myself.  Sciatica is acting up.  On one hand, I crave the exercise; on the other, I know that pounding the pavement is probably not good for me in the long run.  More stretching, Susan!

And now for something completely useless...  :-)

When we went to the 30A Songwriter Festival a few months ago (MLK weekend, 2020), we had the pleasure of seeing Eliot Bronson, whose duo as well as solo work I've always enjoyed).  He sang us this song, and told us the story behind.

P.S.  I slowed my speed and shortened my stride.  Let's see if that helps.


P.P.S.  I haven't smoked pot in over 30 years (although my children, and their friends, are not convinced), but Happy 4/20 for those who do!


SONG:  30-50 Feral Hogs by Eliot Bronson

BOOK:  Hog Wild!: A Frenzy of Dance Music by Sandra Boynton, Michael Ford

POEM:  
Indian Stream Republic by Stephen Burt

No one should be this alone--
none of the pines
in their prepotent verticals,

none of the unseen
hunters or blundering moose
who might stop by the empty lodge or the lake

as blue as if there had never been people
although there are people: a few
at the general store, and evidence of more

in clean vinyl siding, and down the extended street
a ruddy steel pole the height of a child, its plaque
remembering a place called Liberty

at Indian Stream, 1832-35,
between the disputed boundaries
of Canada and New Hampshire, meant

as temporary, almost
content to remain its own.
Each household, their constitution said, could possess

one cow, one hog, one gun,
books, bedding and hay, seven sheep and their wool, secure
from attachment for debt no matter the cause.

The state militia came to set them right.
The legerdemain of the noon sun through needles and leaves,
revealing almost nothing, falls across

thin shadows, thin trace of American wheels and hands
for such high soil and such short reward:
the people... do hereby mutually agree

to form themselves into a body politic
by the name of Indian Stream, and in that capacity
to exercise all the powers of a sovereign

till such time as we can ascertain to what
government we properly belong.    

QUOTE:  "People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values." ~ Al Franken