Wednesday, September 26, 2007

John's Cocoons (Michael McNevin)

Yesterday's DailyOM:

Sharing Grief
Opening To Receive Comfort

When we experience something that causes us to feel shock and sadness, we may feel the urge to withdraw from life. It may seem like remaining withdrawn will keep us protected from the world, but during these times it is important to reach out to those trusted and precious people who care about us the most. Even with our best information and reasoning, we never know when someone else’s experience or perspective can give us additional information that we need. The universe speaks to us through many channels, and when we open ourselves up to receive its messages, we also receive nurturing care from a loving partner in life’s journey.

Grief is part of the human experience, and sharing our vulnerability is what creates truly close bonds in our relationships. Opening ourselves up in this way gets to the core of our being, past all of our defenses and prejudices. When life seems to crack the outer shell of our world, we are both raw and fresh at the same time. It is then that we discover who is truly willing to walk with us through life. We also see that some of those sent to us may not be the ones we expected to see. Regardless, we learn to trust in the universe, in others, in our own strength and resilience, and in the wisdom of life itself.

Sharing grief allows us to ease our burden by letting someone else help carry it. This helps us process our own inner thoughts and feelings through the filter of a trusted and beloved someone. We may feel guilty or selfish, as if we are unloading on someone who has their own challenges. Although, if we think about it, we know we would do the same for them, and their protests would seem pointless. Remember that not sharing feelings with others denies them the opportunity to feel. We may be the messenger sent by the universe for their benefit, and it is on this mission that we have been sent. By sharing our hopes and fears, joys and pains with another person, we accept the universe’s gifts of wisdom and loving care.

A friend sent me a "True Friendship/None of that Sissy Crap" essay yesterday - it perfectly suits our friendship as I feel he always "has my back"... :-)

Given my latest round of overwhelmedness/exhaustion/crises, I've allowed myself to do more cocooning than I think is healthy - I told him the other day I was in roly-poly mode (remember those bugs that would curl up into a ball to protect themselves from harm?).

I'm still grieving my mother's bad health, my father-in-law's medical woes and the mixed emotions of an aquaintance's recent passing - I'm also battling post-hard-drive-crash blues, most specifically my iTunes loss. I've been doing some research on the internet and there *is* a way to transfer songs from an iPod back to iTunes - Apple has discouraged an easy process, since they see it as piracy, however, most of my findings have been examples of people such as myself, losing their *own* data. At this point, we have the bird in the hand (over 2500 songs on the portable player) - I am terrified that, in my attempt to restore, I will not only *not* be successful... but will lose what there is on the iPod (godhelpme - fingers crossed... :-)

I know there are lots of positives in my life right now, but I'm also firmly entrenched in the wallow - I appreciate my friend giving me space... and also popping in often enough so as to assure me I'm still important to him... and I hope he knows the reverse is true...

BOOK: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

POEM: The Well of Grief by David Whyte

Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief
turning down to its black water
to the place that we can not breathe
will never know

the source from which we drink
the secret water cold and clear
nor find in the darkness

the small gold coins
thrown by those who wished for something else

QUOTE: "If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome." ~ Anne Bradstreet


  1. You know I'm here if you ever want to talk..I'll put on the kettle and we'll have some jasmine tea, ok?

  2. Hey, M ~

    Jasmine tea, eh? - that's a blog post unto itself!

    We most definitely need to plan another get-together... as it sounds as if both of us could use some good talk time - think there's such a thing as jasmine *wine*?... :-)