Also, over the last week, Sarah has been working with Colin on his listening skills, especially walking through their apartment complex, making sure he knows that the command of "red light" means STOP... immediately! She is also teaching him about looking left-then-right-then-left-again, then holding her hand at a busy intersection before crossing, even in the parking lot.
I of course had an epiphany that I should use that as my life-metaphor for a while; rather than rushing headlong into potential problems, I would internally look left-then-right-then-left-again, especially where emotions are concerned. What's the hurry? Look how much time we have available to ourselves these days. Use it as a commodity, and not a catastrophe. Slow the f*ck down, Susan. Better to delay my response than to say or do something I'd eventually need to back-pedal or retract. I had a few occasions today in which to do just that, and the outcome was better than hoped for. Colin became the Master and I the Grasshopper. "The teacher appears when the lesson is ready to be learned", right?
I've also recalibrated a few other things in my life, beginning with TV. I do love movies and series, but I've lately been using them to numb out, rather than escape. Plus, every minute I spend in front of a screen, I am taking away from my primary love: reading. Vowed to turn that around and, over the course of the last few days, I am much calmer and more "here".
My sleep patterns have been really off too, because I am waking up earlier, eager to face the day (with a book), but then there's just so much of it (ha!). My new end-of-evening routine, also instead of TV, is to turn the lights down low, stretch out on the guest room couch with Pandora, headphones (my new best friend!), and The Avett Brothers station (which has included James Taylor, Neil Young, The Rolling Stones, Coldplay, The Beatles, for about an hour (the Dar Williams station is great too). I can then segue very easily into sleep in my own bed... hopefully by midnight. Aaahhh!
What are some effective coping mechanisms for you? How are you getting out of your own way (and head) to take better care of yourself, without falling down the rabbithole?
Of course, the news is full of gloom and doom, panic and pandemonium, chaos and crisis. This essay by Mark Morford (my favorite SFGate-columnist-turned-yoga-instructor) popped up in my e-mail yesterday. Perfect timing!
How to avoid the temptation to drown in fatalism? Learn to swim. You know, spiritually speaking.
You don’t have to ‘look on the bright side’ or ‘focus on the positive.' This is a myth, and often feels forced and childish, in denial of events and issues deeply in need of your passionate attention.
Just stop obsessing on the dark and the bleak. Stop fetishizing doom. Step back from the addictive abyss of incessant dread, and find some stillness.
Note that this does not give you license to numb out and refuse to read any media, engage in any essential discussions, form any opinions whatsoever because you deem yourself too precious and "sensitive." That's merely avoidance, vain self-importance disguised as humility. It''s also bullshit, just your ego being passive-aggressive with the gods. Your rejection of reality, of the harrowing vagaries and difficult beauties of the human condition, is of no service to anyone, particularly yourself.
It is also, of course, unwise to try and take it all on, to try and make sense of everything that's happening, slot it all into reasonable boxes of legitimacy. This way madness lies, along with a crushed spirit. It's also impossible. The gods wish to remind you: The karma of the world is not yours to solve. You gotta learn to navigate.
Here is the most difficult thing you can do, and also the simplest: Get strong and clear and calm – get your manic thoughts and doomsday-obsessed emotions out of the way of your innate divine intelligence – and then watch what emerges, spontaneously, from the innermost heart, your truest Self.
Hint: It ain’t gonna be cruelty. It ain’t gonna be violence. It ain’t gonna be MAGA or guns or racism. Nor, conversely, will it be all-day rainbow bunnies and perky 'it's all good' nonsense.
Sit. Fucking. Still. Get real.
It might not be comfortable. It won’t at all be easy. But it will look shockingly like love.
NR: Beartown by Fredrik Backman (excellent novel by the author of A Man Called Ove... 💖 )
BOOK: Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age by Bruce Feiler (thanks to AmyB for the heads-up!)
POEM(S): it will all be messy for a little while longer by Maya Stein
“I feel a little rough around the edges,” I say to a friend on a video chat, because this is
how it is now. And she replies, “We all are,” though from where I’m standing she looks
beautiful, glowing, a midday California sun arrowing photogenically on her cheekbones,
so I tell her so. She says, “I like you in that blue hat” and “It’s so good to see your face,”
and I think about how much faster we’ve gotten with telling the truth. I hit “record”
again, say something about the latest harvest from our garden, about my mother’s
upcoming visit, and she says something about the date she’ll go on after her
appointment with the therapist. It will all be messy for a little while longer, but we don’t
say any of that. Instead, I pan the camera to a body of water and she says, “Where is
Scott Street?” and we say “I love you” and “Talk soon,” because this is how it is now, too.
We Did Not Ask For This Room by Stephen King
We did not ask for this room,
or this music;
we were invited in.
Therefore,
because the dark surrounds us,
let us turn our faces toward the light.
Let us endure hardship
to be grateful for plenty.
We have been given pain
to be astounded by joy.
We have been given life
to deny death.
We did not ask for this room,
or this music.
But because we are here,
let us dance.
QUOTE: "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.” ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
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