November 2, 2009
The Time You Find
Simplifying Your Schedule
For many, life is a hodgepodge of never-ending commitments. Yet few of us can be truly healthy or happy without regular periods of downtime. While there is nothing inherently wrong with busyness, those of us who over-commit or over-extend ourselves potentially face exhaustion and burnout. When you feel overwhelmed by your commitments, examining your motivation for taking on so many obligations can help you understand why you feel compelled to do so much. You may discover that you are being driven by fear that no one else will do the job or guilt that you aren’t doing enough. To regain your equilibrium and clear the clutter from your calendar, simplify your life by establishing limits regarding what you will and will not do based on your personal priorities.
Determining where your priorities lie can be as easy as making two lists: one that outlines all those obligations that are vital to your well-being, such as work, meditation, and exercise, and another that describes everything you do that is not directly related to your well-being. Although there will likely be items in the latter list that excite your passion or bring you joy, you may discover that you devote a large portion of your time to unnecessary activities. To simplify your schedule, consider which of these unnecessary activities add little value to your life and edit them from your agenda. Remember that you may need to ask for help, say no firmly, or delegate responsibility in order to distance yourself from such encumbrances. However, as you divest yourself of non-vital obligations that cause you stress, serve no purpose, or rob you of opportunities to refresh yourself, you will feel more energetic and enthusiastic about life in general.
If simplifying your schedule seems prohibitively difficult and you still feel pressed to take on more, try imagining how each new commitment will impact your life before saying yes. When you consider the hassle associated with superfluous obligations, you may be surprised to see that your schedule is impeding your attempts to grow as an individual. Your willingness to pare down your agenda, no matter how gradual your progress, will empower you to retake active control of the life that defines you.
This past weekend was the South Florida Folk Festival. More on that next week, as it deserves its own post, but I really want to tell you the tale of friendship between myself and Michael McNevin. We go back more than twenty years, having met at the Kerrville Folk Festival in May 1999, as he was standing outside the bathrooms, serenading those who walked by with his sweet voice and subtle lyrics. We stayed in touch and, when I went to the Booking School at the Nashville Folk Alliance in 2002, he was the first person I agreed to represent. Another story for another time; the business eventually folded but the friendship remained.
His plan was to come into town this past weekend to hang with our mutual friend Tom Prasada-Rao (dealing with difficult health issues), who had a mainstage slot at the festival. Michael was patient and, due to another artist's unfortunate illness, he also received a mainstage set. Great music, community, and comaraderie. At my invitation, Michael stayed with me from Thursday night to about an hour ago. He is equally exhausting and endearing, and we had some wonderfully deep conversations, as well as hearty laughter, along the way.
Michael and Tom said they liked it. Then again, they wouldn't want to hurt my feelings either.
Soul-searching, while terrifying, is important. It has to be an internal, as well as intuitive, vision and, once that is in place, the next stage of your life, the third act, begins. I am now a retired, nature-watching, sleeping-until-9-am, lunching-with-friends, reading whore, Lala. And I'm okay with that... :-)
P.S. When I was blogging regularly, as ideas came to me, I would set them aside as drafts, to be gone back to later. The above horoscope and DailyOm are from *ten years ago*, and were just waiting for me to return to them at the appropriate time. That would be NOW. Spooky, right?
SONG: I Cain't Say No by Rodgers and Hammerstein (from the musical Oklahoma)
BOOK: The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness Paperback by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher
POEM: The Power of NO
I once was a woman of pleasure
for everyone else in my life
When they wanted a piece of my leisure
I submitted as friend, mom, and wife
No problem, no worries, no pressure, no guilt
I bent, and I swayed, and I folded
Whatever they stitched was my crazy quilt
Little regard for what my soul did
Good Time Charleen was the role I embraced
Concerts, committees, congregations
The more the merrier, the thrill of the chase
I filled up on action, applause, adulation
Act Three, Scene One, running on fumes
Do I really wish to keep up this pace?
What is my purpose? Where is my full moon?
I'm choosing to drop out of this race
The Magic Art of Tidying Up, and
Swedish Death Purge for the win
I'm only keeping the useful and beautiful
This is where my next stage begins
Those in my circle will understand
It's not you, it's me, and what I need now
I'm slowing down as part of the plan
More mindful, more grateful, less when, and more how
The Power of No sounds harsh, but it's freeing
Obligation and stress become memories
My focus these days is on really just Being
My safe cocoon, my inner light, at peace
QUOTE: "I'll give you my answer calmly and sensibly, my final answer. My final answer is finally no. The answer is no! Absolutely and finally no! Finally and positively no! No! No! No! N - O!" ~ Abraham Polonsky
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