In This Life (Madonna)

I felt honored to be called upon to help Reba with the clean-out of her apartment last week, although it diverted time and energy away from my "schedule" (however loosely that is defined).  My blogging routine was thrown off a bit, but I also think part of me was deliberately putting off writing about this.  So, here we are, and I am sitting in this chair until it is done.

This is a book report/review of The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai, but is it also a story of a life, or lives, cut short by a disease that took too long to acknowledge and, even when it had a name, never received the respect and compassion it deserved.

My earliest memory was being pregnant with my daughter Sarah (born September 1981) and watching an episode of The Phil Donahue Show, and the guests were a panel of men (from San Francisco and New York City), talking about a strange and insidious illness that was spreading like wildfire throughout the gay community, and no one was paying the least bit of attention.

Fast forward a few months (years?), when it officially became HIV/AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) and was still being ignored, most specifically by Ronald Reagan, our sitting president at the time.

Different/earlier time frame:  I met my husband R midway through my college years (1974), when we began dating and, because he was/is older, he graduated and took a job in Tennessee with The Red Cross, and we continued our courtship long-distance for another two years. One of his college roommates was SteveV, a hilarious, brilliant, sharp-tongued (Scorpio), adorable man who may have been the first gay person I ever knew.  Our friendship with him continued and solidified.

After Steve graduated (he was in our wedding party in 1976), he moved to Atlanta and then New York, where he was going to hit it big, writing a screenplay and rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.  He was in his *element*,  and we moved to Puerto Rico through R's job (1985-1989), keeping up our long-standing correspondence.  Steve even came to visit us there, loving the gay beach area, that felt free and unencumbered from homophobia. At some point, we heard that Steve was very sick (yes, AIDS), and had moved back home to Newnan, Georgia, where his mom lovingly took care of him.  We would come back to the states every December for a month, and I recall visiting him (must have been Christmas 1986).  He looked so tired and frail, and I knew in my heart it would be the last time we saw him.  He died in October 1987.

As soon as I started reading The Great Believers, I knew it would conjure all those memories of Steve, but I hadn't realized how far and deep they ran.  The book is told in alternating chapter/timelines... one in the mid-80s, and the other 2015, as a group of friends deal with the infections/deaths of their Chicago circle/community... and the sister of one goes on to live and interconnect with those lost, and those who unexpectedly survived.  

I read the chapter titled July 15, 1986 (p. 334 in the hardcover version) three times.  So impossibly perfect.  So devastatingly honest.  The last 100 pages found me ugly-crying, waking up the next morning with swollen eyes and a broken heart.

Of course there are articles being written now, comparing the AIDS crisis with the current pandemic, and there are most certainly correlations.  Innocent people are dead (over 180,000 via COVID; 700,000 via AIDS), because of negligence and dereliction of duty (I'm talking to you, RR and DT!).  

Despite the wrenching subject matter, I highly recommend this book.  The writing is exquisite and clever, the characters fleshed out in all manners of likability (or non-), the subject matter painful and poignant, but also curiously redemptive.  This novel will stay with me a very long time... 💓


“The thing is,” Teddy said, “the disease itself feels like a judgment. We’ve all got a little Jesse Helms on our shoulder, right? If you got it from sleeping with a thousand guys, then it’s a judgment on your promiscuity. If you got it from sleeping with one guy once, that’s almost worse, it’s like a judgment on all of us, like the act itself is the problem and not the number of times you did it. And if you got it because you thought you couldn’t, it’s a judgment on your hubris. And if you got it because you knew you could and you didn’t care, it’s a judgment on how much you hate yourself. Isn’t that why the world loves Ryan White so much? How could God have it out for some poor kid with a blood disorder? But then people are still being terrible. They’re judging him just for being sick, not even for the way he got it.”

“How could she explain that this city was a graveyard? That they were walking every day through streets where there had been a holocaust, a mass murder of neglect and antipathy, that when they stepped through a pocket of cold air, didn’t they understand it was a ghost, it was a boy the world had spat out?”

“A handful of dead astronauts and Reagan weeps with the nation. Thirteen thousand dead gay men and Reagan’s too busy.”

“He wanted to spend the rest of his life building Nora's Paris out of sugar cubes, brick by brick. He wanted a one-way ticket to 1920. He thought about Nora's idea of time travel. What a horrible kind of travel, that took you only forward into the terrifying future, constantly farther from whatever had once made you happy. Only maybe that wasn't what she'd meant. Maybe she meant the older you got, the more decades you had at your disposal to revisit with your eyes closed.”

I miss you, Steve.


SONG:  In This Life by Madonna

BOOK:  And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic, 20th-Anniversary Edition by Randy Shilts

POEM:  Heartbeats by Melvin Dixon

Work out. Ten laps.
Chin ups. Look good.

Steam room. Dress warm.
Call home. Fresh air.

Eat right. Rest well.
Sweetheart. Safe sex.

Sore throat. Long flu.
Hard nodes. Beware.

Test blood. Count cells.
Reds thin. Whites low.

Dress warm. Eat well.
Short breath. Fatigue.

Night sweats. Dry cough.
Loose stools. Weight loss.

Get mad. Fight back.
Call home. Rest well.

Don’t cry. Take charge.
No sex. Eat right.

Call home. Talk slow.
Chin up. No air.

Arms wide. Nodes hard.
Cough dry. Hold on.

Mouth wide. Drink this.
Breathe in. Breathe out.

No air. Breathe in.
Breathe in. No air.

Black out. White rooms.
Head hot. Feet cold.

No work. Eat right.
CAT scan. Chin up.

Breathe in. Breathe out.
No air. No air.

Thin blood. Sore lungs.
Mouth dry. Mind gone.

Six months? Three weeks?
Can’t eat. No air.

Today? Tonight?
It waits. For me.

Sweet heart. Don’t stop.
Breathe in. Breathe out.

QUOTE(S):  "In the earliest years of the AIDS crisis, there were many gay men who were unable to come out about the fact that their lovers were A. ill, and then dead, B. They were unable to get access to the hospital to see their lover, unable to call their parents and say, 'I have just lost the love of my life.' " ~ Judith Butler

"AIDS was allowed to happen. It is a plague that need not have happened. It is a plague that could have been contained from the very beginning." ~ Larry Kramer

Giants (Matt Maeson)

[The Wildlife Exhibit at Flamingo Gardens... :-) ]

What?  It's Thursday?  Where did Wednesday go?!?  From having a totally-decimated social calendar, my life seems to have gotten super-busy again, lots of little things that have then added up to full days.  Chiropractor appointments three times a week.  Walking with Rob three times a week.  Various online concerts, most recently Eliza Gilkyson (her 70th birthday celebration!), Friction Farm, Tracy Grammer, Grant Peeples.  Weekly Zoom calls with friends and, most recently, helping clear out Reba's apartment, as she has decided to give up her snowbird status (not ready to face this one emotionally yet).  Family park meet-ups.  Helping with Colin transportation.  

Speaking of Colin, Sarah invited me to join them at Flamingo Gardens a few Sundays ago, and we had a blast.  Sarah was able to keep him in the stroller for the first 10 minutes, and then she let him out to run around.  Who ran around?  We did!  Wish I could get an energy transfusion from that little guy.  We saw turtles/tortoises, otters (my other spirit animal, in addition to the dragonfly), butterflies, flamingos (of course!), various other birds, so many peacocks, as well as flowering plants, fruit trees, etc... plus there was an exhibit of Lego sculptures throughout the park (there until September 13).  We also went on a tram ride which was about five minutes too long for a toddler.  It was hot, so we ended the day with watermelon icees to lower our body temperatures.  We're thinking of getting season passes next year, as he'll enjoy it more the older it gets.

I am a positive person, and always try to be "for" rather than "against" policies/procedures/philosophies.  I said in a previous blog post that I was choosing not to watch even a minute of the Republican National Convention, exactly for the reason(s) Stephen Colbert states below (full monologue here).  With all this talk of the next four years, we also need to remember the years and decades after that... for our children, and our grandchildren.  Vote for your own needs and wishes for this country, but cast your ballot for the next generation.  As Michelle Obama spoke last week during the DNC:  ""If you take one thing from my words tonight, it is this: If you think things cannot possibly get worse, trust me, they can, and they will if we don't make a change in this election.  If we have any hope of ending this chaos, we have got to vote for Joe Biden like our lives depend on it."

Because they do!


SONG:  Giants by Matt Maeson (thanks to Sarah for the heads-up to this wonderful singer-songwriter who was new to me until recently.  Now I'm obsessed!).

BOOK:  Vote for Our Future! by Margaret McNamara, Micah Player (Illustrator)

POEM:  One Vote by Aimee Nezhukumatathil

After reading a letter from his mother, Harry T. Burn cast the deciding vote to ratify the 19th amendment of the U.S. Constitution

My parents are from countries
where mangoes grow wild and bold
and eagles cry the sky in arcs and dips.
America loved this bird too and made

it clutch olives and arrows. Some think
if an eaglet falls, the mother will swoop
down to catch it. It won’t. The eagle must fly
on its own accord by first testing the air-slide

over each pinfeather. Even in a letter of wind,
a mother holds so much power. After the pipping
of the egg, after the branching—an eagle is on
its own. Must make the choice on its own

no matter what its been taught. Some forget
that pound for pound, eagle feathers are stronger
than an airplane wing. And even one letter, one
vote can make the difference for every bright thing.

QUOTE:  “Now, I know by not watching the R.N.C., I didn’t do my job tonight. I just want to say, I feel great about it. Why should we pay attention to what they’re saying if none of what they’re saying tonight is about what’s happening in America right now? Why should we watch their reality show if it doesn’t reflect our reality? Why subject ourselves to their lies that stick to your soul like hot tar? Lies like ‘Donald Trump cares whether you live or die.’” ~ Stephen Colbert

Poetic Justice (Buddy Mondlock/Tom Kimmel)

I received a lovely card a few weeks ago from my former UU congregation (MollyL's handwriting, I'm pretty sure), wishing me a Happy Birthday and inviting me to their upcoming David Fisher Memorial Annual Poetry Service, via Zoom, which I had coordinated for the previous nine years.  I think I surprised everyone by showing up, and we were all mutually glad to see each other.  It was delightful to view everyone's faces, especially Rev. Susan, who is recovering from a tragic car accident, and the usual cast of poets/readers:  Alfredo, Gary, Sarah/Birch, Jerry... as well as a few newcomers.

As I had spoken from the pulpit for many years running, updating the math:

If you began attending or visiting the UU Church of Ft. Lauderdale after June 26, 2010 (the date of David Fisher’s passing, at the age of 81), you may be wondering who he was and why this service is a memorial to him.  During Coffee Hour after today’s service, you should approach one of our long-term members and ask them to tell you a David Fisher story.

In the meantime, here’s the 75-words-or-less answer:  David Fisher graduated college with a philosophy degree, he did two years of Army service, he was a doctor (practicing internal medicine), he was a minister, he was a college professor, he was a psychiatrist, he was a member of our Sunday Services Committee, and he was our choir director from 2003-2009.  He was a brother, a father, a grandfather… and he was in a long-term committed relationship with his partner Paul. 

Rev. Gail (our previous minister) said "he was one of the most graceful, gracious, grace-filled people I ever met” with the "unique ability to live lightly in the world and have great impact.  He was a minister in every aspect of his life.” 

David and I shared a love of verse… and his annual poetry service was always a spiritual experience.  I had volunteered to help coordinate the last one (April 2010) since David’s health issues were becoming a factor… and he had actually been in the hospital the week before the service. However, he pushed to be discharged the day prior, which made our collaboration even more inspiring and joyful… 

In his absence, this is my ninth year coordinating, and I am beyond honored to have taken up the baton, to make sure this service remains an annual event. 

However, this service is about so much more than poetry.  We here at the UUCFL are rich:  in tradition (remember Noralee’s cat poems?)… in community (look how many of you chose to attend and/or participate)… and in memories (David Fisher would be proud).

Here's/cheers to David, and to the many who carry on his legacy.  I certainly vow to continue!


SONG:  Poetic Justice by Buddy Mondlock and Tom Kimmel

BOOK:  The Carrying by Ada Limón (here's a wonderful interview with the poet, who was new to me before Sunday's service... 💖)

POEM:  This Day, O Soul by Walt Whitman

This day, O soul, I give you a wondrous mirror;
Long in the dark, in tarnish and cloud it lay—But the cloud
has pass'd, and the tarnish gone;
…Behold, O soul! it is now a clean and bright mirror,
Faithfully showing you all the things of the world.

QUOTE(S):  "Who knows anyway what it is, that wild, silky part of ourselves without which no poem can live?" ~ Mary Oliver

"Poetry is the journal of the sea animal living on land, wanting to fly in the air. Poetry is a search for syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the unknowable. Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away." ~ by Carl Sandburg

Kamala! (a Randy Rainbow song parody)/Sweet Kamala (Friction Farm)

Kamala Harris crop art turns up in Kansas field (hat tip to CT for both images!)



It has been no secret with my friends and family (or anyone who would listen, actually) that Joe Biden was not my first choice for the Democratic presidential nominee, nor was Bernie Sanders.  As much as I appreciated their experience and their policies, I kept spouting that I was tired of "old white men" running the show.  I wanted Elizabeth Warren, d*mmit, and she appeared to be the front-runner for a while, but then...

However, Kamala Harris was indeed my first choice for Vice President, and I was delighted when Joe Biden picked her as his running mate.  All this to say, I've been heavily immersed in the Democratic National Convention the previous four nights, and am now convinced of Biden's assets (of course I was always going to vote for him!).  He has proven himself not only to be wise, and on the right (meaning correct!) side of justice, but also genuine.  He has turned his personal grief into political passion, and his record cannot be ignored.  He seems to truly possess a moral compass.

The convention was exactly what I needed to re-calibrate my mindset, and each night I signed off feeling even more hopeful and energized at such smart and caring representation.  The myriad of faces felt like *my* America... a diversity of age, gender, ethnicity, sexual preference.  I cried multiple times during each evening... my litmus test of what feels honest and equitable and kind.

I realize what I'm saying next will sound closed-minded, but I'm saying it anyway:  I will not watch one minute of the Republican National Convention, and subject myself to the venomous spouting of their hatred and division. Nope, not gonna do it.

Since it is indeed Feel Good Friday below are, in my opinion, five highlights of the DNC (although there were so many more to choose from).  As one of the Roll Call delegates said, "It's Joe Time!".

~ ‘It is what it is’: How Michelle Obama’s ‘epic shade’ won the DNC’s opening night:  Halfway through her closing speech at the Democratic National Convention on Monday night, Michelle Obama shifted to address what she called the “cold, hard truth.”

~ Democratic National Convention’s Roll Call Showcases Voices from Across America:  Over a span of about 30 minutes, viewers traveled to 57 states and territories and heard from teachers, small business owners, essential workers and elected Democrats.

~ The Democratic National Convention used John Prine's last recording for a COVID-19 memorial video:  In one of the night's more somber moments, the Democrats broadcast an in memoriam video for the 170,500 people who have died from COVID-19 in the U.S.  One of those Amerians who died from complications COVID-19 was the great singer-songwriter John Prine, and his final recording, "I Remember Everything," was the soundtrack to the memorial.

~ Obama issues a dire warning about American democracy in stunning rebuke of Trump:  From the Philadelphia ground where the American experiment was born, one former president -- in a stunning prime-time address to the nation he once led -- warned that his successor was on the cusp of destroying democracy itself.

~ Joe Biden takes on Trump-era traumas in career-defining speech:  If Joe Biden becomes the 46th American President, his speech accepting the Democratic presidential nomination on Thursday night will be seen as the moment when the destiny of a man and his nation converged.

Also, "Before Hillary Clinton spoke from her home in Westchester County, the convention featured a video montage of women voting, protesting and testifying before Congress over the years.  It included black-and-white images from 1920 and images from 2017, after President Trump had taken office and women marched in protest wearing vivid pink knitted caps.  In clips stitched into the montage, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg spoke before members of the United States Senate; Representative Pramila Jayapal of Washington reclaimed her speaking time from Attorney General William P. Barr at a hearing; Mrs. Clinton herself, eight years before she became the first woman nominated for president by a major party, spoke of failing to shatter “that highest, hardest glass ceiling” but putting “about 18 million cracks in it.”  I was ridiculously impressed with the video, and wanted to include it here, but I cannot seem to find it anywhere!  Anyone who has better luck than I, *please* send me the link in a Reply (which I will then include in my blog post) and I will bake and mail you vegan cookies (or hand-deliver, if you're local... 😄 )

P.S.  As soon as I hit Publish, I am going to donate money to Joe Biden, and will do so again in September and October.  In November, I will put my mouth/VOTE where my money was!

NR:  The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai


SONG(S):  Kamala!, a Randy Rainbow song parody (thanks to JudiS for the heads-up!)/Sweet Kamala by Friction Farm

BOOK(S):  The Truths We Hold: by Kamala Harris

Kamala Harris: Rooted in Justice by Nikki Grimes, Laura Freeman  (Illustrator)

POEM:  Kamala Harris: U.S. Senator by Alejandro Escudé

My divorce mitigator
had an office across the street
from a Bed Bath & Beyond;
it was a huge store, and I thought of going there
the way one thinks of going
somewhere one happens to pass by
and never does because I needed to park
underneath a twenty story building
to meet my ex wife and this other woman
who we hired to file the divorce paperwork
and to suggest how we might split
amicably—and I remember, quite distinctly,
the way one remembers something
that was part curiosity and part pain,
my ex-wife pointing out the sign on the office
next door to the mitigator: Kamala Harris,
US Senator. It was such a plain
looking door, brown, as the floor was brown,
brown my feeling as my ex-wife noticed this.
I remember thinking how interesting
it was that she pointed it out, both of us
starstruck by a stupid brown door
with a name on it, the name of the woman
who had just faced down Joe Biden,
a woman who rented an office
on the seventh floor of this nondescript building
on Olympic Boulevard in Los Angeles
where I was meeting with a mitigator
and the woman I was married to
for seventeen years, who I had
two kids with, and who was now divorcing me
while simultaneously pointing out
the name on a door: Kamala Harris,
and the electric blue Tarantino sky
behind it all, and the bathroom
that was across the same hallway
for which you needed to ask for the key
and how I asked once and went in
and felt a tightness in my chest,
I thought I was having a heart attack
though I wasn’t, it was more an existential thing,
as in where am I and what is happening?
I needed to take a break from negotiating
the way politicians negotiate,
the way they bicker on bright stages
that are just stages and nothing more.

[Alejandro Escudé: “Life is surreal. There are these moments of divine yet absolutely useless premonition. Harris showed up in the tapestry of my life the way the poem describes. I’m cynical, so I think it means nothing. Will she become Vice President? I don’t know. But I do know that this incident occurred, and I remembered it when Biden chose Harris as his running mate.”]

QUOTE(S):  "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Give light and people will find the way." ~ Ella Baker

"History says
Don’t hope on this side of the grave
But then, once in a lifetime
The longed-for tidal wave
Of justice can rise up
And hope and history rhyme.’” ~ Seamus Heaney

Sister Suffragette (from Mary Poppins)

Yesterday (August 18) marked the 100th anniversary of the ratification of the 19th Amendment:  “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.”

Grant Peeples did a wonderful Clay Tablets livestream last night, with special guest Eliza Gilkyson, on the topic.  Here's a link to Episode 6, now archived.

The New York Times presented a comprehensive online overview yesterday, Suffrage at 100:  A Visual History, which I hope you can access.

Below is my "book report" for our March bUUkies (UU book club) meeting to discuss The Woman's Hour (see link below), which I chose to skip because it was scheduled for March 18, when the proverbial sh*t was hitting the proverbial fan, COVID-wise.  (NOTE:  we have only gathered online since then... 😢 )

As a long-time feminist and activist, I was aware of the historical outcome, but nowhere near informed on the specifics that got us there. Much information to digest, such that I continue to be "entertained and ephiphanated" (my new favorite phrase by Brian Doyle). It reads like an unfolding mystery novel, as the 36th star of ratification finally appears on the banner. 

As I was reading, I couldn't help but channel my 10-year-old self, watching Mary Poppins and having to ask what a suffragette was*** (and I still know all the words to the song). 

***["The battle for woman’s suffrage was in full force in both Britain and the United States in the early 1900s. Reporters took sides, and in 1906, a British reporter used the word “suffragette” to mock those fighting for women’s right to vote. The suffix “-ette” is used to refer to something small or diminutive, and the reporter used it to minimize the work of British suffragists. 

Some women in Britain embraced the term suffragette, a way of reclaiming it from its original derogatory use. In the United States, however, the term suffragette was seen as an offensive term and not embraced by the suffrage movement. Instead, it was wielded by anti-suffragists in their fight to deny women in America the right to vote."] 

And, if we were still bringing snacks tonight (and I of course understand why we aren't), I was going to use this plate (photo attached), given to me by my dear friend/college roommate, Linda... 💗 

And I would have worn white...  :-)

SONG:  Sister Suffragette from Mary Poppins

BOOK:  The Woman's Hour: The Great Fight to Win the Vote by Elaine Weiss

POEM:  19th Amendment Ragtime Parade by Marilyn Chin

Birthday, birthday, hurray, hurray
The 19th Amendment was ratified today

Drum rolls, piano rolls, trumpets bray
The 19th Amendment was ratified today

Left hand bounces, right hand strays
Maestro Joplin is leading the parade

Syncopated hashtags, polyrhythmic goose-steps
Ladies march to Pennsylvania Avenue!

Celebrate, ululate, caterwaul, praise
Women’s suffrage is all the rage

Sisters! Mothers! Throw off your bustles
Pedal your pushers to the voting booth

Pram it, waltz it, Studebaker roadster it
Drive your horseless carriage into the fray

Prime your cymbals, flute your skirts
One-step, two-step, kick-ball-change

Castlewalk, Turkey Trot, Grizzly Bear waltz
Argentine Tango, flirty and hot

Mommies, grannies, young and old biddies
Temperance ladies sip bathtub gin

Unmuzzle your girl dogs, Iowa your demi-hogs
Battle-axe polymaths, gangster moms

Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Lucy Burns and Carrie Chapman Catt

Alice Paul, come one, come all! 
Sign the declaration at Seneca Falls!                                                                
Dada-faced spinsters, war-bond Prufrocks
Lillian Gish, make a silent wish

Debussy Cakewalk, Rachmaninoff rap
Preternatural hair bobs, hamster wheels     

Crescendos, diminuendos, maniacal pianos
Syncopation mad, cut a rug with dad!

Oompa, tuba, majorette girl power
Baton over Spamalot!

Tiny babies, wearing onesies
Raise your bottles, tater-tots!

Accordion nannies, wash-board symphonies
Timpani glissando!
             The Great War is over!

Victory, freedom, justice, reason
Pikachu, sunflowers, pussy hats

Toss up your skull caps, wide brim feathers
Throwing shade on the seraphim

Hide your cell phones, raise your megaphones!
Speak truth to power
                          and vote, vote vote!

WARNING: 

Nitwit legislators, gerrymandering fools
Dimwit commissioners, judicial tools
Toxic senators, unholy congressmen
Halitosis ombudsmen, mayoral tricks
Doom calf demagogues, racketeering mules
Whack-a-mole sheriffs, on the take

Fornicator governators, rakehell collaborators
Tweeter impersonators, racist prigs
Postbellum agitators, hooligan aldermen
Profiteering warmongers, Reconstruction dregs

Better run, rascals     better pray
We’ll vote you out      on judgement day!

Better run, rascals     better pray
We’ll vote you out      on election day!

QUOTE:  “If your voice held no power, they wouldn’t try to silence you.” - unknown

86 45 11-3-20 (Friction Farm)

My sweet and smart daughter Sarah sent me the following yesterday.  I know it's a meme, and there are probably flaws but, on the eve of our Florida primary (August 18), with the Post Office in crisis and blue mailboxes and mail-sorting machines being removed at an alarmingly rapid rate, we need to remind ourselves, and each other, what our true priorities are.  You know you can drop your mail-in ballots in person at your voting precinct, right?  Do the Next Right Thing (TM Glennon).  VOTE tomorrow, but especially on November 3, 2020!

P.S.  Kudos to Christine and Aidan for this spot-on parody.  Music begins at about the two-minute mark, but please listen to/watch the entire thing.  Thanks and love to Melanie for the heads-up... :-)

P.P.S.  NR:  Call Them By Their True Names:  Crises and Essays by Rebecca Solnit



If the Democratic candidate turns out to be your least favorite — as disappointed as you may be — please remember: 

1. You're not just voting for President. 

2. You're voting for who replaces Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the Supreme Court. 

3. You're voting for the next Secretary of Education and getting rid of the horrible Betsy Devos. 

4. You're voting for federal judges. 

5. You're voting for the rule of law. 

6. You're voting for saving national parks. 

7. You're voting for letting kids out of cages. 

8. You're voting for clean air and clean water. 

9. You're voting for scientists to be allowed to speak about climate change and for rebuilding the CDC. 

10. You're voting for what a President says and does on Twitter. 

11. You're voting for housing rights. 

12. You're voting for LGBTQ people to be treated with dignity. 

13. You're voting for non-Christians to be able to adopt and to feel like full citizens. 

14. You're voting for Dreamers. 

15. You're voting so that there will be Social Security and Medicare when you retire. 

16. You're voting for veterans to get the care they deserve. 

17. You're voting for rural hospitals. 

18. You're voting so that someone else can have health insurance. 

19. You're voting for the preservation of PBS. 

20. You're voting to have a President who doesn't embarrass this country every time she or he attends an international meeting. 

21. And you're voting against allowing the USA to become yet another authoritarian regime. 

22. You're voting for sensible gun laws. 

23. You are voting to save our postal service. 

No Democrat is perfect. Your first AND second choices may have dropped out. Your third might. But the nominee, no matter who she or he is (and now we know it's Joe Biden with Kamala Harris!), won't be perfect. They won't pass your purity test. And yet every single one of them will be better than four more years of Trump!!! Please be reasonable.


SONG:  86 45 11-3-20 by Friction Farm

BOOK:  True Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Investigation of Donald Trump by Jeffrey Toobin

POEM:  Booker T. and W.E.B. by Dudley Randall 

“It seems to me,” said Booker T.,
“It shows a mighty lot of cheek
To study chemistry and Greek
When Mister Charlie needs a hand
To hoe the cotton on his land,
And when Miss Ann looks for a cook,
Why stick your nose inside a book?”

“I don’t agree,” said W.E.B.,
“If I should have the drive to seek
Knowledge of chemistry or Greek,
I’ll do it. Charles and Miss can look
Another place for hand or cook.
Some men rejoice in skill of hand,
And some in cultivating land,
But there are others who maintain
The right to cultivate the brain.”

“It seems to me,” said Booker T.,
“That all you folks have missed the boat
Who shout about the right to vote,
And spend vain days and sleepless nights
In uproar over civil rights.
Just keep your mouths shut, do not grouse,
But work, and save, and buy a house.”

“I don’t agree,” said W.E.B.,
“For what can property avail
If dignity and justice fail.
Unless you help to make the laws,
They’ll steal your house with trumped-up clause.
A rope’s as tight, a fire as hot,
No matter how much cash you’ve got.
Speak soft, and try your little plan,
But as for me, I’ll be a man.”

“It seems to me,” said Booker T.—
“I don’t agree,”
Said W.E.B.

QUOTE:  "Books are letters in bottles, cast into the waves of time, from one person trying to save the world to another.  Keep reading.  Keep writing.  Keep fighting.  We're all still here." ~ Amal El-Mohtar, This Is How You Lose the Time War (Acknowledgements)

Where the Beauty Is (Mary Chapin Carpenter)

Yes, it's Feel Good Friday, but I'm not offering up, as I usually do, any random links.  My day got away from me in a lovely way, and it's already 3:45 p.m.  Instead follows a list of five beautiful things that happened to me this week.  Hoping you are all even half as lucky as I am, to be surrounded by so much loveliness, albeit in the middle of a pandemic.  At times it is easy for me to focus on the negative, but counting my blessings allows me to re-prioritize, and shine the spotlight on the friends, family, and activities I have to be grateful for.  To infinity and beyond?!?

~ Had a Zoom call with my bUUkies (my UU book club) Wednesday night.  In addition to talking about some of the books we've enjoyed reading this past summer, we also took turns recommending books, and we came up with 14 interesting selections.  At this point, we will each choose four and send them, in order of preference, to our organizer, who will tally the results and get back to us as to what we'll be reading in September, October, November, and December.  Very excited!

~ A dear friend, who actually lives in Kansas, told me about Ellis Paul's Wizard of Oz livestream this past Wednesday night (which I jumped straight to as soon as we wound up the bUUkies Zoom gathering).  "OH WHAT A WORLD! Tonight's Traveling Medicine Show provides an elixir born from the film "The Wizard of Oz". We will be performing songs from the movie, and songs inspired by its themes-- Scarecrows, tornados, and rainbows. All are on the menu tonight. Special guest is the incredible Wizard of The Fret Board Vance Gilbert (see bio below). Thanks for stopping by! Put up your ruby red slippers, click them heels, and enjoy the tornado as it spins you beyond the clouds.  This week’s show is sponsored by Kansas Public Radio and their legendary folk program "The Trail Mix" hosted by Bob McWilliams."  It was a delightful 90 minutes, and Ellis did his homework, sharing lots of trivia about the books and movie.  The concert is archived here, and I might actually take the time to re-watch.  If I Only Had a Brain on banjo.  Wow!

~ I don't think I have mentioned this before, but I am transporting Colin from Point A to Point B a few times a week to help Sarah a bit, which has been such a joy (not only to be of assistance, but to spend quality one-on-one time with him).  I am obsessed with the Hamilton soundtrack, and he and I have developed a routine in the car where I sing "I am not throwing away my"... and then I turn around and point to him, and he says/shouts "SHOT!".  We track the green, yellow, and red lights on our journey.  We also name all the dinosaurs, and he can now say brontosaurus and stegosaurus quite clearly... :-)

~ Had a follow-up chiropractor visit yesterday morning, and I signed up for a one-month/12-visit/three-times-a-week treatment that should get my minor upper-spine/neck and lower-spine/back issues re-aligned, M-W-Sat mornings at 9:30.  I had another adjustment too which, coupled with the Wednesday massage, has me feeling better than I have in quite a while.  

~ Sweet Nancy invited me over to her pool this morning, where we not only stretched our muscles but spilled our guts as well as solved the problems of the world.  Talking about everything from nutrition to politics to husbands (can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em!).  More reinforcement and support for my mind, body, and spirit.  Thanks, NW... 💖

~ Bonus item:  After the downsizing, I have not really been buying CDs, but there are a very few that feel necessary, like MCC's new one, The Dirt and The Stars, which was released last week.  Everything I've heard and read about it tells me I must make an exception so, after I hit Publish, I am headed to Amazon.  My kids make fun of me for still owning Compact Discs (!) rather than using Spotify but sometimes, I just want to keep my phone and my music player separate, technology be d*mned.  

Wishing you all a joy-filled weekend, and see you here again on Monday... 💓

NR:  Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld


SONG:  Where the Beauty Is by Mary Chapin Carpenter

BOOK:  The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson, Rafael López  (Illustrator)

POEM:  Look To This Day by Kalidasa

Look to this day:
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence.
The bliss of growth,
The glory of action,
The splendour of achievement
Are but experiences of time.

For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision;
And today well-lived, makes
Yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well therefore to this day;
Such is the salutation to the ever-new dawn!

QUOTE:  "Close your eyes, take a breath, inhale calmness, exhale stress.  Make a cuppa, sink into a chair, open a book, disappear." (I am unable to find the source; thanks to my bUUkie friend SusanJ for sharing... 💗 )

Back in the High Life Again (Steve Winwood)

Sciatica, which is also known as sciatic neuralgia, is a condition that causes pain in the low back, down the back of the leg and into the foot. It can make sitting and standing for long periods of time difficult and can lead to weakness, tingling and numbness in the leg and foot. It will often come and go throughout a person's lifetime, causing periods of varying degrees of pain and discomfort. If left unchecked, sciatic pain will generally grow worse and the nerve can become permanently injured.

The reason why the pain travels so far, seems to radiate up and down the legs, and back is because it is caused by the compression of the sciatic nerve, the longest nerve in the body. This nerve originates in the lumbar spine extends into the buttocks before traveling down the leg to the ankle and foot. When the vertebrae in the low back are compressed, the roots of the sciatic nerve can become pinched and irritated, which is what causes the pain and injury.


Most of you know that, after a two-year hiatus, my sciatica resurfaced in January 2020, and I was actually managing it very well.  Even when the pandemic hit in mid-March 2020, I was walking, stretching, and doing yoga.  Of course, at that time, we all (or at least I) thought we were in for just a few months of self-isolation/inconvenience... and here we are, five months later, with no sign of re-normalizing in sight... of our social calendars, much less our daily lives.  I confess to having lapsed with many of my self-care routines and my daughter Sarah, being a pro-active organizer and tired of watching me attempt to curb my moaning and limping and grimacing (oh, my!), called me on Monday and told me that I had an appointment with a chiropractor on Tuesday afternoon.  

I am sighing in contentment now, finally turning my sciatica issue over to professionals.  After my chiropractor visit yesterday afternoon - thermal imaging (my spinal column was completely green/normal, without a hit of yellow, orange, or red/severe, no deterioration or degeneration!); X-rays (slight misalignment); some stretching; some manipulation with instruments; an adjustment of my back and neck; and some laser therapy - I almost called an Uber to drive me home.  I was that relaxed!  Of course, many hours later, I felt pretty beat up, so I did some stretches, drew a very hot bath with liberal amounts of Epsom salts, used the massager my sons gave me for my birthday, slathered on some CBD salve, and then divebombed into bed. 

Today I had a massage for the first time since February (I cancelled my mid-March session) with my healing hands guru Karen (amazing!), and I am considering all this a re-set.  I am tired of living with pain.  I can see it in my eyes when I look in the mirror.  Then don't look in the mirror, Susan... right?

I go back to the chiropractor tomorrow morning for a more comprehensive review of my scans and X-rays, at which point we will develop a plan for future treatment (or not).  Either way, I am vowing to stretch every two hours on a daily basis, and alternate yoga with walking, even leisurely.  Life's too short to experience intermittent electric shocks down the back of one's legs... 😌

P.S.  I just opened a new container of HOPE hummus, and the inner seal said, "Self-Care Ain't Selfish".  Synchronicity!

NR:  This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar, Max Gladstone


SONG:  Back in the High Life Again by Steve Winwood

BOOK:  Sciatica Exercises & Home Treatment: Simple, Effective Care For Sciatica and Piriformis Syndrome by Dr. George F. Best D.C.

POEM:  Sciatica by Cliff Burns

You can never call Pain friend.
It is quarrelsome, insistent,
practically inescapable
like a boorish relative one must
endure at weddings
and family functions
or a childhood pal,
now out-grown,
who always overstays their welcome.

QUOTE:  "Fall down seven, stand up eight." ~ Japanese Proverb

Wondering Where the Lions Are (Bruce Cockburn)

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY, week beginning August 6 by Rob Brezsny

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): At times in our lives, it's impractical to be innocent and curious and blank and receptive. So many tasks require us to be knowledgeable and self-assured and forceful and in control. But according to my astrological analysis, the coming weeks will be a time when you will benefit from the former state of mind: cultivating what Zen Buddhists call "beginner's mind." The Chinese refer to it as *ch_x_n*, or the mind of a novice. The Koreans call it the *eee mok oh?* approach, translated as "What is this?" Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield defines it as the "don't-know mind." During this upcoming phase, I invite you to enjoy the feeling of being at peace with all that's mysterious and beyond your understanding.

We're only one week into my Birth *Month*, and it's been glorious!  First of all, thanks to all who read my blog (many, many views!) this past Wednesday, and a special thanks to those who took the time to comment.  The outpouring conjured memories of Facebook love, and I am grateful for friends and family who know that we Leos need validation, not always but sometimes.  My body, mind, and spirit are in a good place, as I have made a renewed effort to take better care of all aspects of myself.  My skin is glowing (thanks, Origins!), my brain is stimulated (thanks, Broward Library!), my attitude is dialed back to lesser expectations (thanks, meditation and yoga... and maybe a glass or two of pinot grigio... 😄 )

Check out the list of presents/presence I received (so far), which reiterates that my dear ones have more than a finger on the pulse of my personality... 💖

~ dragonfly crossbody wallet and cellphone holder from Melanie
~ Michelle Obama Becoming Journal (made my first entry today!) and card from Michele
~ Nancy Pelosi Patron Saint of Shade clapback candle from Stephen and Jess
~ Zoom call Tuesday night with Nancy, Brian, RobbyG, Dave, and Russ 
~ Parlour Vegan lunch sent via UberEats from my daughter Sarah
~ phone calls from all my children
~ thoughtful texts, e-mails (from Laurie, sharong, and CT), and phone calls from friends
~ aforementioned comments on my blog
~ phone call with my sister
~ WhatsApp call with Sarah and Colin
~ Chinese food delivery
~ basket of vegan goodies (most of them homemade), card, and visit from Nancy
~ card from Roxanne
~ Zoom birthday co-celebration with Judi (whose birthday was yesterday); call with Nancy, Suzanne, SusanP, Sarah and Colin, Jennifer and Elowen, Cheryl
~ 864511320 bumper sticker (look it up!) and card from Judi
~ Family get-together yesterday at our old neighborhood park:  Lala-saurus Rex (purple!) T-shirt from Sarah and Colin; massager (for my sciatica) from Rob and Eric, And the Answer Is... (Alex Trebek memoir) from Chico, all with cards

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I am feeling the birthday love, and continue to count myself lucky and blessed every day/minute/second.  "Some kinda ecstasy got a hold on me" indeed!

NR:  Father of the Rain by Lily King (three decades of a volatile relationship between a charismatic, alcoholic father and the daughter who loves him.  hmmm, sound familiar?!?  And, although my Dad died in 1995, today would have been his 90th birthday.  Synchronicity strikes again.)

SONG:  Wondering Where the Lions Are by Bruce Cockburn

BOOK:  The Lions of Fifth Avenue by Fiona Davis

POEM:  Leo (July 23 - August 22) Horoscope by Genie Graveline

You're very ambitious, you love to lead
You're driven to greatness and want to succeed
You're strong and dependable, honest, too
but showing emotion is hard for you
You're usually eager to give advice
When it comes to your temper, try to think twice
You're a lover of life with a childish side
Yet a loner at times, with a need to hide
You're quite independent, and generous, too
You set your goals and you carry them through
You need reassurance from day to day
And diplomacy, sometimes, is not your forte'
Your sign is fire and your planet's the Sun
When you take control, you get the job done
If you find the right mate, you're the marrying kind
You're Leo, relax, take the time to unwind

QUOTE:  "Becoming isn't about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim.  It's forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self." ~ Michelle Obama