Saturday, February 14, 2009

Two Hearts (Bruce Springsteen)

Dedicated to The One I Love - thanks, honey (he calls me sweetie) for hanging in there with me all these many years... :-)

P.S. SMM...

P.P.S. Check out Google's logo for today... :-)

February 6, 2009
The Dance of Intimacy
Coming Back to Center in a Relationship

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

Two Hearts by Bruce Springsteen

Four Letter Word: Invented Correspondence from the Edge of Modern Romance by Joshua Knelman, Rosalind Porter (editors)

POEM: LXXXIX by Pablo Neruda

When I die, I want your hands on my eyes:
I want the light and the wheat of your beloved hands
to pass their freshness over me once more:
I want to feel the softness that changed my destiny.

I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep.
I want your ears still to hear the wind, I want you
to sniff the sea's aroma that we loved together,
to continue to walk on the sand we walk on.

I want what I love to continue to live,
and you whom I love and sang above everything else
to continue to flourish, full-flowered:

so that you can reach everything my love directs you to,
so that my shadow can travel along in your hair,
so that everything can learn the reason for my song.

QUOTE: "Love is the way messengers from the mystery tell us things." ~ Rumi


  1. Susan-Happy Belated Valentine's Day to you & your wonderful hubby...Pablo Neruda is one of my fav. poets & I'd forgotten this very, very moving. All is well!
    With love & thanks, K.

  2. Hey, Kate ~

    A Happy Belated Valentine's Day to you and F as well - glad to hear all is well... and I promise to give a call/drop a note to figure out a date for us to get together!

    I finally remembered to give my hubby the Neil Young CD - thanks again for your thoughtfulness... <3