Monday, December 15, 2008

What Do Bad Girls Get? (Joan Osborne)

Oh my goodness, Bill is back in my life - it's been four years, and the sound of his name still elicits a smile... :-)

Before anyone gets too worried... Bill is my contractor, who re-did my kitchen in the summer of 2004 - however, when one spends two months, day in/day out, with a person... one can't help but become a bit enmeshed. It was fun, it was flirty, it was innocent - we'd have heart-to-heart talks, we'd bond over tile samples, we'd laugh and banter... and I knew how he took his coffee - for eight weeks, I referred to him as my second husband.

He'd call and say, "whoooo's your favorite contractor?" when he had particularly good news to share (he'd gotten a good price on a granite countertop... or he'd found the perfect backsplash) - we even had a few fights... about the placement of the cabinet knobs or why it was all taking so long. I got to the point where, when friends asked me how it was coming, I'd semi-joke... "don't say the K word!" - Bill told me at the beginning of the job, "you'll love me, and then you'll hate me, and then you'll love me again"...

So... a few weeks ago, out of the blue, Bill phoned my first (and only) husband and asked R to spread the word that he'd expanded his crew and was looking to pick up a few more jobs - we have vacillated with our bathroom woes, part of us just wanting to do bare minimum, replace the floor and get back on with life... and the other part figuring... hey, it's already torn up so we might as well demo the rest, spend a bit of money and get a complete overhaul.

I said we should call Bill... so I did - of course, we had to chat 45 minutes (to fill each other in on spouses, children and jobs) before I got to the crux of the matter. Could he come out to take a look and give us an estimate and a time frame? - that was Friday morning, he arrived later that afternoon and we were both delighted at the reuniting. He was back today, I signed the contract and I experienced that old excitement: "I love the smell of paint in the morning" (with apologies to Apocalypse Now) - I'm getting a new bathroom for Christmas... as well as that giggly schoolgirl feeling again. I'll be good - I promise... :-)

P.S. Another SMM...

What Do Bad Girls Get? by Joan Osborne

Santa's Little Instruction Book: Have You Been Naughty or Nice? by Scott Matthews, Barbara Alpert

POEM: Remodeling the Bathroom by Ellen Bass

If this were the last
day of my life, I wouldn't complain
about the shower curtain rod
in the wrong place, even though
it's drilled into the tiles.
Nor would I fret
over water marks on the apricot
satin finish paint, half sick
that I should have used semigloss. No.
I'd stand in the doorway
watching sun glint
off the chrome faucet, breathing in
the silicone smell. I'd wonder
at the plumber, as he adjusted the hot
and cold water knobs. I'd stare
at the creases behind his ears and the gray
flecks in his stubble. I'd have to hold
myself back from touching him. Or maybe
I wouldn't. Maybe I'd stroke
his cheek and study
his eyes the amber of cellos, his rumpled
brow, the tiny garnet
threads of capillaries, his lips
resting together, quiet as old friends—
I'd gaze at him
as though his were the first
face I'd ever seen.

QUOTE: "Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered." ~ Phyllis Diller


  1. heh, Susan....with apologies to Laura Nero and The 5th Dimension:

    Bill, I love you so, I always will
    I look at you and see the passion eyes of tile
    Oh, but am I ever gonna see my bathroom smile
    I was on your side Bill when you were loosin'
    I never scheme or lie Bill, there's been no foolin'
    But kisses and love won't satisfy it till you remodel it

  2. Hey, Catherine ~

    Hysterical - yerba mate tea came out of my nose... and I am still chuckling uncontrollably!

    Laura Nyro would be proud - you have a gift for parody... :-)

    In the Great-Minds-Think-Alike Department, I was all set to submit a post Sunday about Wedding Bell Blues to my other blog (Star Maker Machine) when I realized the songs were supposed to be about *holiday* bells - so... I set it aside for another time/theme... and will give you the heads-up when it appears...