Monday, July 9, 2007

Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen)

Finally, I have internet again in my home - to quote Mr. Garcia: what a long, strange trip it's been...

I've learned a lot about myself this week - powerlessness is not my favorite feeling. I am normally a patient and understanding person, to the extreme - it takes a lot to ruffle my metaphorical feathers and I have a very high tolerance for frustration.
[ I started typing out the blow-by-blow of events, which just served to take me right back to the negative place - I'm deleting now... ]

What I can't abide are broken promises, processes that break down and situations that cause me to lose trust - I've been tested the last 6 days, making lemonade from lemons (i.e., catching up on my reading) some of the time... and reducing myself to the common denominator (shrieking and swearing, although not *at* anyone) on other occasions...

Mostly I've just tried to breathe... and I've vowed to attempt to become less dependent on this mode of communication in the future (easier said than done, when I'm involved in so many extra-curricular activities) - relate, relax, release... look forward... and continue to trust, even when it seems impossible... :-)

POEM: Trust by Thomas R. Smith

It's like so many other things in life
to which you must say no or yes.
So you take your car to the new mechanic.
Sometimes the best thing to do is trust.

The package left with the disreputable-looking
clerk, the check gulped by the night deposit,
the envelope passed by dozens of strangers—
all show up at their intended destinations.

The theft that could have happened doesn't.
Wind finally gets where it was going
through the snowy trees, and the river, even
when frozen, arrives at the right place.

And sometimes you sense how faithfully your life
is delivered, even though you can't read the address.

QUOTE: "The ultimate measure of (wo)man is not where (s)he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where (s)he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.


  1. Whoo-hoo! So glad to have you back in cyberland, my dear friend! You did a helluva job relying on Kinko's, I daresay I would've flipped out by now.

  2. Hey, M ~

    It's great to be back... although I've realized how dependent I am and am trying to back off a bit - my panic attack mode has scaled back to general overwhelmedness (what else is new, right?... :-)

    A friend told me of a similar problem he had a while back and I decided to call Bellsouth/AT&T this morning, basically to be heard after the fact - I stayed calm and rational and, long story short, they're crediting me with three months of service ($128+) and cutting back my internet fee by $10/month.

    I appreciate their efforts and will give them a continued try - we shall see, but I feel better for having verbalized my frustrations!

  3. Well, I'm glad that they are doing something to make up for their stinky service! :-p Raspberries to Bellsouth.