Yesterday (Ant, Atmosphere, and Slug)

Since Eric's death, Mother's Day was the holiday I've most dreaded.  My first instinct was to stay in bed and draw up the covers (a la Harold and The Purple Crayon)... but I am blessed to have two other dear children, a pip of a grandchild, and a very thoughtful husband... 💜

Thanks to all for the love Sunday, both on-list and off.  I embraced the glimmers and did my best to set aside the weepiness. Staying off my phone/Facebook plus hanging with Colin, Sarah, and Chico helped a lot. Plus the pool, jacuzzi, VitaminD, and pizza. Plus the beautiful Disney movie Soul. Wow... 💥

As I have shared here previously, I have regularly been doing one-card draws from a Tarot deck the medium used when Sarah and I went for a consultation about a month after Eric died.

This morning, my question was:  "Yesterday was Mother's Day.  How am *I* doing, almost eight months after Eric's death?"  Here's the card I pulled.  Wow.  

SONG:  Yesterday by Ant, Atmosphere, and Slug

BOOK:  My Son and the Afterlife: Conversations from the Other Side by Elisa Medhus

POEM:  Mother's Day by Rob Moss (my middle child)

I will never know what it means to be a mother.

The closest I'll get is being a Pawdre🐾

I know though, what it means to be a Son. And a Family member. Not great at both, but trying.

I do know facts though:

I was blessed to have a mother who never gave up on me.

A woman who taught me how to read. And understand what I was reading. 

Intelligence is knowing tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is knowing u don't put it in a fruit salad lol

My Mother shared her opinions and spoke to me kindly as youths were rebelling. "Go fly" 

My Mother wanted nothing else than to see her children soar. Hear these words. Travel them. Take them to the skies.

Mother is a word that is synonymous with the act of birth. 

But being a Mom is so much more.

Thank you Mom. For letting us have our wild and younger years.

Thank you Mom for the times we pushed each other to our boundaries. 

Thank you for being a Mom to all of my friends, and Sarah's, and Eric's.

Being a Mom never ends. Thank u for always being that special person. 

Happy Mother's  Day!

Blessing for the Brokenhearted by Jan Richardson

There is no remedy for love but to love more.

~ Henry David Thoreau

Let us agree

for now

that we will not say

the breaking

makes us stronger

or that it is better

to have this pain

than to have done

without this love.

Let us promise

we will not

tell ourselves

time will heal

the wound,

when every day

our waking

opens it anew.

Perhaps for now

it can be enough

to simply marvel

at the mystery

of how a heart

so broken

can go on beating,

as if it were made

for precisely this—

as if it knows

the only cure for love

is more of it,

as if it sees

the heart’s sole remedy

for breaking

is to love still,

as if it trusts

that its own

persistent pulse

is the rhythm

of a blessing

we cannot

begin to fathom

but will save us

nonetheless.

QUOTE:  “In the autumn I gathered all my sorrows and buried them in my garden. And when April returned and spring came to wed the earth, there grew in my garden beautiful flowers unlike all other flowers. And my neighbors came to behold them, and they all said to me, ‘When autumn comes again, at seeding time, will you not give us of the seeds of these flowers that we may have them in our gardens?’ ” ~ Khalil Gibran