The Book of Love (Magnetic Fields)

"it's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes

and things we're all too young to know" indeed... 💕

I look back at my early visions/impressions of what love was "supposed to be" and realize how short a period of time I actually believed those fairytales.  Not soon after my own wedding, I witnessed my parents' marriage ending after 29 years, and knew then one was never safe.  Thank goodness.  My husband and I have had many lovely years together (46 1/2 to be exact, but who's counting?), and I hope we have many more... and woven throughout the ecstasy (thoughtfulness, kindness, mutual decisions, regular and rich intimacy, support) there has been agony:  thoughtlessness, disagreements/fights (with raised voices, but never physical), issues with children, financial troubles, philosophical differences, did I say children (ha!).  We have weathered multiple storms, and lived to tell about them, not always pretty but hopefully always a growth opportunity, as we continue to learn about ourselves and each other.  I hope we never stop learning and growing.

Today is Valentine's Day, and we've never stood on the ceremony of going out to dinner and/or presenting each other with elaborate/expensive gifts... although last year, given my recent passion, he did surprise me with a reversible garden bench/kneeler, and it was purple.  He knows me, he really knows me... ⚘ ⚘ ⚘

No matter what, though... it is our tradition to exchange cards, and he always writes some gorgeous heart-melting sentiment, and I am usually apologetic for being snippy and vowing to do better, and he loves me anyway, and our flaws and faults are forgotten until the next time, and there is an easiness to our togetherness, but there is also a pushing back which lends itself to passion and not taking each other for granted.  It's still hard work, but I'm worth it.  So is he... 💖

We toss around the phrase Love Language to each other, half-joking half-seriously; I love to receive validation and I love to give... food.  If I love you, I will cook for you; "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is a cliche for a reason.  He appreciates my culinary skills/intuition; he has always loved my cooking, from the time we met in college and I would make pots of hot tea for him, and put together elaborate meals, culled from my background of a Southern father and an Italian mother.  R never ate vegetables until he met me; his mother raised him to believe there was nothing else beyond the boundary of mashed potatoes and canned corn.  And there were the seasons of squash, when we kept a percentage of what we'd harvest from his roommate's parents' farm, and sometimes we'd have four different kinds on our dinner plate, and I'd swear I was going to write the definitive cookbook:  From Acorn to Zucchini... 😉

We've recently become enamored with a new appetizer on Village Tavern's menu so I will be attempting to recreate their romesco sauce tonight, tossed with some angel hair pasta (his favorite) and embellished with capers and sliced almonds, with vegan meatballs on the side and of course some crusty bread to soak up every drop of that yummy sauce, to the tune of Bella Notte (at least in our heads, right?).

For dessert Overnight Raspberry Chia Pudding, substituting Hazelnut non-dairy creamer for the heavy cream... and adding 1/4 cup of unsweetened shredded coconut.  I also did not add any additional sweetener.  When it's time to serve, I will top with a few chopped pecans and some shaved dark chocolate.  Yum!

And, we will continue to espouse Jackson Browne's advice:  "get up and do it again... amen", remembering that the journey is better with the other by our side (but not joined at the hip nor chained at the ankle because... ugh).  And yes, we did have Kahlil Gibran's On Marriage read at our wedding waaaaaay back in 1976... ☮

SONG:  The Book of Love by Magnetic Fields

BOOK:  LVOE: Poems, Epigrams & Aphorisms by Atticus

POEM:  Attention of the Heart by Sharon Corcoran

If the heart can pay attention

in wordless listening,

through its steady throbbing, pumping,

gathering and pouring forth

blue to red and back again

and with its magnetic field

that spreads six feet in all directions,

waving like a ray’s wings

or rippling, gauze curtain in a breeze—

could it be that the heart’s attention

is more than electricity and muscle,

but embraces all the worlds in body

and in mind,

and the valentines are true,

and love quickens the heart’s rhythm,

and love propels its drumming,

is the voice behind its constant, wordless call?

QUOTE(S):  "Love is the sea where intellect drowns." ~ Rumi

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." ~ Thomas Merton