No Regrets (Friction Farm)

Good morning!  Has it really been two weeks since I last posted?  WTF?!?  It seems to have been a combination of reasons:  due to increased vaccinations (50% now!), things are opening up, which means there are more in-person get-togethers, which means I am out of the house more and not sitting at the laptop as much... also, my mood/attitude is good, but nothing has really jumped out to inspire me, meaning I've had to go mining for a a great song or poem, as opposed to the ones that usually throw themselves in my path, begging "Pick me!  Pick me!".

I'm staying busy... moving more, worrying less, sleeping well, eating healthy, still reading like a MF, addicted to The Handmaid's Tale (I read the book a bazillion years ago, and am so impressed with the Hulu adaptation!), regular phone chats with family and friends, obsessed with watermelon chunks as my late-night snack (ha ha!).

Still watching Jeopardy religiously (last week and this are the Tournament of Champions) and, I'm not going to lie, very glad that the cocky *sshole of quarterfinals fame ("for the kill"?  really?) lost Tuesday night in the semi-finals.  I know that's not very kind; oh f*cking well.

Redeemed my Mother's Day "coupon" with Sarah this past Sunday at Marando Farms; we had a lovely breakfast/brunch at their Twisted Tomato Cafe (their veggie hash is divine!), and then walked the petting zoo with Colin (I used to think goats were cute, but now I believe they're just annoying... 😲 )

Last week and this were: Karen's healing hands massage, taking a friend to a doctor's appointment, a few library pick-ups, my OverReaders Anonymous book club,  Pool Days with Nancy, Zooms with Nancy and Judi, a livestream with Tracy Grammer and Jim Henry (theme was animals), a few pick-ups of Colin from preschool.  Lunch with my son Rob today (since reading Crying in H Mart, I've been craving Korean food), then headed up to my former UU church for a memorial service (tragic series of events).

 

In the meantime, it is indeed Feel Good Friday.  As is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy! 

~ Eric Carle, Author of ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar,’ Dies at 91:  A self-described “picture writer,” he wrote and illustrated more than 70 books for young children, selling more than 170 million copies.

~ ‘Dear Evan Hansen’: Watch the First Trailer for the Ben Platt Musical Movie:  Universal has released the first trailer for the “Dear Evan Hansen” movie, premiering in theaters on Sept. 24.  Ben Platt returns in his Tony-winning titular role in the big-screen adaptation of the Broadway musical hit created by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul.

~ What’s Your Rose, Thorn and Bud?:  This past year, as we’ve had sooooo many dinners as a family, we have started the age-old tradition of rose, thorn, bud. Want to play it? Here’s how it works…  Basically, everyone goes around and shares a rose (a positive thing that happened that day), a thorn (a negative thing that happened that day) and a bud (something they’re looking forward to).

~ Louvre Gets Its First Female Leader in 228 Years:  Laurence des Cars, who will become the president of the world’s most visited museum in September, shares some of her plans in an interview.

~ Spotify Playlist for Daisy Jones & The Six (a novel by Taylor Jenkins Reid): randomhousebooks, 26 songs, 1 hour 47 minutes

NR:  Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert (god help me, this is my third romance novel in as many months.  Who am I, and what have I done with Susan?!?  However, how can one resist this bio?... 💖

"Talia Hibbert is a New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestselling author who lives in a bedroom full of books. Supposedly, there is a world beyond that room, but she has yet to drum up enough interest to investigate.  She writes steamy, diverse romance because she believes that people of marginalised identities need honest and positive representation. Her interests include makeup, junk food, and unnecessary sarcasm."

SONG:  No Regrets by Friction Farm (scroll 1/3 down to album cover of Evidence of Hope, click on album cover, click on arrow to navigate to track 8)

BOOK:  No Regrets Living: 7 Keys to a Life of Wonder and Contentment by Harley A. Rotbart MD

POEM:  Mad Farmer VIII by Wendell Berry

When I rise up

let me rise up joyful

like a bird.

When I fall

let me fall without regret

like a leaf.

QUOTE:  “Let go of who you thought you’d become.  Let go of the need to control.  Let go of the expectations that society has burdened you with.  Let go of disappointments, missed opportunities, and broken hearts.  Because only by letting go will you discover who you are becoming.” ~ Justin Shiels

Coming Alive Again (David LaMotte)

[So weird!  I went to upload this post last night about 8 p.m. and received an e-mail from Blogger; here's a snippet:

As you may know, our Community Guidelines describe the boundaries for what we allow-- and don't allow-- on Blogger. Your post titled "Coming Alive Again 

(David LaMotte)" was flagged to us for review. We have determined that it 

violates our guidelines and deleted the post, previously at 

http://optimisticvoices.blogspot.com/2021/05/coming-alive-again-david-lamotte.html. Your content has violated our Malware and Viruses policy. Please visit our Community Guidelines page linked in this email to learn more.

I completely freaked out, tried to recover it, thought about attempting to re-create it but it was late and I was tired, and then gave up in defeat, shutting down my computer completely, and vowing to solve/resolve in the morning.

Woke up today to this:

We have re-evaluated the post titled "Coming Alive Again (David 

LaMotte)" against Community Guidelines. Upon review, the post has been 

reinstated. You may access the post at 

http://optimisticvoices.blogspot.com/2021/05/coming-alive-again-david-lamotte.html.

What?!?  Whatever!  Thanks to Blogger for re-evaluating as well as validating that I made the right choice by not spending time troubleshooting last night, and for believing in the system such that it all eventually and easily came together (although I certainly didn't sleep well as a result).  First World Problems, right?  Happy Saturday... 💖 ]

Another full week:  weekly Zoom with Nancy and Judi, picked up sweet Colin from preschool and got to hang out for a while, three-hour (!) phone chat with dear college roomie Linda, belated-but-no-less-enjoyable Mother's Day dinner with Rob and Eric, pool with Nance, and this evening a Virtual LitLIVE! event with authors Kaitlyn Greenidge and Kirstin Valdez Quade.  Dinner and a movie in a few minutes:  Mixed root vegetable fries (carrot, parsnip, beetroot) and The Woman in the Window on Netflix.  Ooooh, it's a wild night in the Moss household... 😉

A few things on tap for the weekend, and we shall see how it all unfolds.  In the meantime, it is indeed Feel Good Friday.  As is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy! 

~ The Other Side of Languishing Is Flourishing. Here’s How to Get There:  Research shows that the pandemic took a toll on our overall well-being and left many of us drained. Here are seven simple steps to get you thriving again.


~ The Lure of H Mart, Where the Shelves Can Seem as Wide as Asia:  The huge grocery chain and other megastores like it have revolutionized the way many Asian-Americans shop and eat.


~ Colson Whitehead's Pulitzer Prize Winning Novel, The Underground Railroad on Amazon Prime:  From Academy Award® winner Barry Jenkins and based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Colson Whitehead, "The Underground Railroad" is a new series that chronicles Cora Randall’s desperate bid for freedom in the Antebellum South. After escaping a Georgia plantation for the rumored Underground Railroad, Cora discovers no mere metaphor, but an actual railroad beneath the Southern soil.

~ Welcome to Life Lessons:  This week, we revisit some admittedly out of context highlights from two interviews with singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell, the original Lady of the Canyon: first in August 1985, then in April 1991. Sit down, pull out your acoustic guitar—you just might learn a thing or two. 


~ Do We Even Know How To Socialize Anymore?  Zoom meetings. Virtual happy hours. Facetime dates. We've been living in a pandemic world for over a year now, and for better or worse, many of us are used to our new social routines.  But as vaccinations ramp up and restrictions begin to loosen across the country, the new question is: Are we ready? After so much time apart, do we even know how to socialize in person anymore?

NR:  Crying in H Mart: A Memoir by Michelle Zauner

SONG:  Coming Alive Again by David LaMotte

BOOK:  88+ Ways Music Can Change Your Life by Vincent James, Joann Pierdomenico, Jack Canfield (Foreword)

POEM(S):  To Be Alive by Gregory Orr

To be alive: not just the carcass

But the spark.

That's crudely put, but ...

If we're not supposed to dance,

Why all this music?

Say it With a Mix-Tape by Christopher Goodrich

These are the professionals. The ones who know

why birds suddenly appear every time you are near;

the self-assured idols who can ask Do you

want to know a secret oooooo waaaa oooooo?

without sounding stupid. I’ve begged

them to tell us why secrets are

given as gifts in obvious packaging.

So much of falling is sitting still, filling

a blank tape with voices of famous people—

the mystic warbling of Joni Mitchell,

the simple sex of Simon and Garfunkel.

This is what it sounds like to be me in love with you.

And because only Ray Charles, who sings from both sides now,

can translate my heart’s handwriting, I’ve included

two of his numbers, see side A, songs two and nine.

He will insist, as many times as you care to listen:

I’m gonna love you like nobody’s loved you come rain

or come shine, which, incidentally, is true, I’m gonna.

The Mix-Tape: proof that love loves James Brown, the reason

we turn to Nina Simone when sex fails to fulfill us,

why, when harmony is what is missing,

a light rhythmic rain begins to fall.

QUOTE:  "You must always believe that life is as extraordinary as music says it is." ~ Rebecca West

Rebel Girl (Bikini Kill)

[One-of-a-kind hand-stitched embroidery works by Amy Tingle, with a line of one of Maya Stein's 10-line Tuesday poems touching on motherhood.]

Today was one of the best Mother's Days I've had in quite a while although, truthfully, they're all pretty amazing, especially since my daughter Sarah has become a mom; I get immense pleasure seeing her in action, parenting Colin with such patience as well as joy.  He is so much like her, and she is so much like me, and I am so much like my mom.  The nut definitely does not fall far from the tree.

Both my sons are in the restaurant business so, since it's one of their busiest holidays, they were of course unable to join us (and we will celebrate another time), but we invited Sarah and Colin over for a Pool Day, and I ordered in advance the Mimosa Starter Kit/Mother's Day Brunch Box from Einstein Bagels (no muss, no fuss, no bother), which my husband picked up:

Lest you worry about my dietary/nutritional choices, I had vegan cream cheese, sprinkled with Everything But the Bagel seasoning, topped with vegan smoked salmon (yes, there is such a thing!), and felt completely satisfied!

Long-story-short is that Colin is obsessed with wild animals, and I gave him a wildebeest figurine this morning, and he had more fun teasing us all:  "Is it a warthog?  Noooooo, it's a wildebeest!" he said, multiple times, with a twinkle in his eye.  Hilarious!

I gave Sarah a few items related to Schitt's Creek (which she and Rob got me watching a few months ago):  a Fold In the Cheese dishtowel, a sideways S necklace (like Alexis' A), and an Ew David tank top, which was running late and naturally arrived after they'd left.

Her present to me was promise of brunch/lunch at a new local farmer's market, with lots of vegan options, maybe even this next weekend.  My husband gave me a giftcard to Chico's (one of my favorite clothing stores, which I haven't stepped foot in in over a year), and will enjoy redeeming.

Yesterday afternoon I decided to watch Moxie on Netflix and, halfway through, texted everybody I know to encourage them to view it as well.  Excellent film, which reminded me of my younger protesting days (as opposed to my older protesting days, ha!), and also my friend M's daughter K (my son Rob's age), who used to publish a 'zine in high school, to which I subscribed.  Today's blog post song came from the movie, which reminded me that, although I've certainly made my share of mistakes in life, if there's one thing I can say with absolutely certainty, it's that I have always been and continue to be a good mom.  I take great pride in knowing that I have instilled in my children all the important values:  thoughtfulness, compassion, generosity, kindness, integrity, the importance of equality and social justice (and working toward it), passion, a love of music and language/books, creativity, and a great sense of humor.  [S]he who laughs, lasts... 😄

SONG:  Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill ("That girl, she holds her head up so high, I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah")

BOOK:  Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself by Lisa Marchiano

POEM(S):  What Children Say by Kate Baer

I can’t reach my cup, my water bottle,

the snack up on the shelf. I can’t do

it. I won’t do it. I would never do it

in a million years. You need to help

me. Help me faster. Do it the way

I asked you to. I don’t like pizza or

watermelon. I don’t like anything I

liked before. I do not want it. I do

not need it. I will never move up off

this floor. Do not help me. Do not

hold me. Do not sit down beside my

bed. I’m not sleeping. I’m not tired.

I’m too scared to fall asleep. You must

hold me. You must rock me. Do not

leave me all alone. I am thirsty. I am

hungry. I am too tired to put my toys

away. Do not be angry. Do not start

singing. Where is the butterfly I drew?

I’m still hungry. I’m still playing. Will

you leave me? Will you stay?

What Mothers Say by Kate Baer

I am tired. I am sleeping. I am heading

up to bed. Is it Tuesday? What’s tomorrow?

When’s the last I slept alone?

I am thinking. I am talking. Do you see

I’m on the phone? Bring the dishes, find

your blanket, put that book back on the

shelf. It is bedtime. It is rest time. You

need to go and brush again. I am working.

I am eating. This is why we bought you

toys. Go and play now, find your brother,

find elsewhere to make your ship. I am

angry, you’re not listening. Please stop

crying on the floor. It’s a school night.

Do your homework. Let me come and

scratch your back. I am listening. I can

hear you. Thanks for telling me the

truth. Let me closer, let me help you.

I am here now. Let me stay.

Stronger That You Know by Kate Baer

My friend’s young daughter tells her mother:

you’re stronger that you know.

We repeat this, even though it doesn’t make

sense. We say it to cheer each other up. We

say it, knowing how much harder it is: that vs.

than. One suggests it was always inside you.

The other suggests it’s better you’ve learned

the coin can flip either way.

We tell our daughters they can be anything.

We call them warrior, fierce, and brave

as if they arrive in war paint and heels

to fight off our old demons.

And when they suffer, which they do

we offer our consolations:

This is a part of it.

Take a deep breath.

Look at you kicking your legs.

Moon Song by Kate Baer

You are not an evergreen unchanged 

by the pitiless snow. You are not a photo, 

a brand, a character written for sex or 

house or show. You do not have to choose 

one or the other: a dream or a dreamer, the 

bird or the birder. You may be a woman of 

commotion and quiet. Magic and brain.

You can be a mother and a poet. A wife and 

a lover. You can dance on the graves you dug 

on Tuesday, pulling out the bones of yourself 

you began to miss. You can be the sun and the 

moon, the dance a victory song.

QUOTE:  "When a mother somewhere forgives herself for being human, earth exhales a little." ~ Breeze

Work Hard and Be Nice (Michael Franti & Spearhead)

Other than a pesky crick in the left side of my neck (caused by a two-hour phone conversation with a dear friend; still worth it!), which turned really painful, causing me to spend most of the last few days in a regimen of a handheld massager/Aleve/Cryoderm/heating pad, a super-hot Epsom salts bath, and a visit to Massage Envy... it's been a good week.  Hung out with Brian for three hours in the park, sat with DonnaG's kids while she attended a tele-appointment, Zoom with Nancy and Judi, an authors-who-also-own-bookstores livestream, Pool Day with Nancy, and just wrapped up an Ellis Paul music event celebrating songs inspired by books.

Sunday is Mother's Day so, if possible, check in with the woman who physically brought you into this world, as well as the special people in your life who tend and nurture you.  I miss my Mom every day, and wish I could call and/or visit her (she passed in July 2009), but I do have plans to get together with my daughter and her kiddo, which I am very much looking forward to; a gathering with my sons will have to wait for another time, since they are both in the restaurant business, which is historically crazy on this holiday!  More on those events later... 💓

It is indeed Feel Good Friday.  As is tradition, five items below of beauty, interest, and humor to brighten your day/weekend/week.  Enjoy! 

~ Brie Larson Pivoted to Video:  The Oscar-winning actress has found therapeutic refuge on YouTube.


~ Side Effects of Walking Just 10 Minutes Per Day, Says Science:  Here's how taking brief but brisk walks can help your focus, self-confidence, and lifespan.


~ James Taylor - Remembering 1970: BBC and Joni's Jag:  Topics include: travels to London in the same year that he released album "Sweet Baby James", playing at the London Palladium, Lenny Bruce, driving cross-country with @Joni Mitchell​, bunking with Warren Oates, Two-Lane Blacktop, visiting the Hopi Indian reservation--even dancing with snakes! James also solves the BBC "In Concert" mystery: "who knitted that green sweater"?! Test your JT trivia chops!


~ Inside the ‘Jeopardy!’ Guest Host Rotation:  This season’s experiment with a carousel of fresh faces has forced the stalwart quiz show—and its contestants—to rethink much of what they know about ‘Jeopardy!’


~ Where Are All the Bob Ross Paintings? We Found Them:  Bob Ross painted more than 1,000 landscapes for his television show — so why are they so hard to find? We solve one of the internet’s favorite little mysteries.

NR:  Sarah's Key by by Tatiana de Rosnay

SONG:  Work Hard and Be Nice by Michael Franti & Spearhead

BOOK:  Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness by Houston Kraft

POEM:  The world you see is just a movie in your mind by Jack Kerouac

The world you see is just a movie in your mind.

Rocks don't see it.

Bless and sit down.

Forgive and forget.

Practice kindness all day to everybody

and you will realize you’re already

in heaven now.

That’s the story.

That’s the message.

Nobody understands it,

nobody listens, they’re

all running around like chickens with heads cut

off. I will try to teach it but it will

be in vain, s’why I’ll

end up in a shack

praying and being

cool and singing

by my woodstove

making pancakes.

QUOTE:  “There are three ways to ultimate success:  The first way is to be kind.  The second way is to be kind.  The third way is to be kind.” ~ Fred Rogers

Your Smiling Face (Jennings & Keller)

I just posted the following to our sf_folk list and, rather than reinvent the wheel, I'm reprising it here:

A Bazillion Thanks to Dave Cambest for being the first to put together a backyard house concert that more than satisfied two of the things I've most missed these last 14 months:  live music and hugs... :-)

Who better to "break the pandemic" (as someone tonight said) than local treasures Jennings & Keller (Laurie and Dana)?  So many tears (of joy) and an equal number of smiles (of ecstasy, familiarity, comfort, serenity, gratitude, grace (as Laurie reminded us many times) and, most especially, love... for the music, for each other, for the idea of being that much closer to whatever "normal" looks like on the other side of COVID.

All of us in the audience had been vaccinated, and the emotion was palpable... friends greeting friends after a too-long absence.  Many of J&K's songs spoke to that, from their opening cover of Richard Thompson's Keep Your Distance to their closing song of Robert Vincent's The Ending... to so many new originals we were treated to (Like No Other, Your Smiling Face, High School Play) to some old favorites (Hold Fast the Wheel, Your Heart Holds the Truth) to The Byrds' Tulsa County and Joni's Little Green.  Laurie's voice was as gorgeous as ever, and Dana's dobro was, to transpose a cliche, a sound for sore ears... 💖

Laurie thanked the audience for being there, and we reciprocated by applauding warmly and enthusiastically, an energy most performers have greatly missed during this strange time.  The evening was a magical and soul-filling watershed, as those who were there can attest.  Here's/cheers to the first of many safe, loving gatherings, musical and otherwise... <3

SONG:  Your Smiling Face by Jennings & Keller [flip side/bonus song:  Wear a Mask, a Beauty and The Beast parody... 😄 ]

BOOK:  Smiling From Ear to Ear: Wearing Masks While Having Fun by Kaitlyn Chu

POEM:  Relic by Russell Brakefield

years from now I dislodge a mask

kneeling in a gas station parking lot

to suck crumbs from the consoles

half in and half out the passenger seat

I dislodge a mask from the floormat

flattened and streaked, folded on itself

like a wounded bird but still

retaining its feather-blue tint

ear straps flung aside like broken wings

its sunken breast smudged

where I once pressed my mouth

the downy screen through which

I filtered my life, where my words were

wrung out and carried off as on a soft wind

a dirty plume that held prayers

and songs and desperate transactions

where I said even I love you

in a muffled tone, where I said even

I’m home! standing in the doorway

forgetting, for a brief moment, which

were the safer parts of the world

[Russell Brakefield: “As we encounter positive news about vaccines and look forward to a new administration’s response to the pandemic, I’ve been turning my mind to a post-Covid world, thinking about how we will live and interact with this time in history in the years to come.”]

Fatigue by Jill Kandel

I’m on the Day with No

Groceries day of the two-week cycle

which means I’m off to buy veggies and

you’d think I’d be used to my long-mandated mask

which makes it hard for me to understand what others

are saying and also sticks to my face as my breath gradually

fogs up my glasses already smeared from putting on and taking off

this, my handsewn slightly crooked mask, all the while trying to retain some semblance

of put-together-ness which went out the window some time ago and belongs

in the land of long forgotten things like hugs and real-life visits

and shared smiles that can actually be seen, dimple

to dimple, but what’s a person supposed to do

except cry, cry for my sweet friend battling

brain cancer and I can’t go visit him, his

systems shrouded in compromise

and Covid

restricting visits even from his

wife—depending on the hospital the clinic

the treatment the day and the hour—from going inside

with him and sitting beside him in his pain and his confusion, his veiled

hope and pallid suffering, and my other friend who just happens to live in the same city,

who placed her mother into a nursing home for people with dementia

the day before the nursing home shut to outside visitors, daughters included,

even daughters of newly admitted mothers who will go on to catch

Covid and die in that brand-new shining facility blanketed

with so much hope just two months earlier,

so even though I want to harangue

and childishly rage

joining in

the chorus of people

on Facebook and Twitter who hate

this politician and that party, smugly promoting

one cover-up or another, the wearing of masks (#MaskUpMN #WearADamnMask)

or not wearing of masks (#IwillNOTComply #NoMaskSelfie) I can’t join

in because it’s not that I’m really angry or mad or feel rant-ish,

it’s that it just keeps going on and on and on and on

into a future that predicts more and longer and still

here tomorrow and into the fall

and even the winter, and

I’m tired,

tired of being heartsore,

tired of listening to my friend

a hospice nurse who can’t hold her dying

patients’ hands and is trying to Zoom into their lives

as if she’s real, as if she’s there when in reality she could be a thousand

miles away, a woman on a screen and some days a screen is just not enough

to wrap around our sorrow and that’s what screams out to me, the grief, the longing,

the loss of what I used to know, the loss of who I used to be, and more

than that, the disappearance of who we used to be, how we

used to walk so carefree, so bold and vibrant

through this our now curtained

and weary world.

[Jill Kandel: “CNN carried a story on September 27 that the US cases have surpassed 7 million, and we can still expect to see an explosion of Covid-19 this fall and winter. I wanted to write beneath the surface of the pandemic, the veneer of daily frustrations, and into the heart of our sorrows.”]

QUOTE:  “Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm, when we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike.” ~ Maya Angelou