Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Revolution 9 (The Beatles)

Something I read today:

09/09/09: Today is the 252nd day of the year. When added together, those three numbers equal... 9. This is the last time there will be single digits in the month, day and year for the next 1001 years.

You can read about the many significances of the number 9

Today also would have been mom's 79th birthday - she was born in 1930, which always made it easy to do the math and figure out how old she was...

Every day since her passing has been hard... and it whams me over the head at the most obvious of times (seeing a woman with a portable oxygen tank at the grocery store... the thirtysomething episode when Michael realizes his dad is dying... mom's birthday today) - other times it creeps up for no apparent reason... yet the tears, heartache and melancholy are the same...

Immediately after mom's passing, my husband said that it was impossible to imagine Life Without Connie, the matriarch, a larger-than-life figure who kept our family together in the bad times and good - each day that goes by has me questioning... floundering... scrambling to re-find my equilibrium... which will *never* be the same...

Scenes of the last two months of her life play out in my brain and, much as I have touted the "no regrets" philosophy, I do wonder if I could have said, done and thought things differently - then I realize that, since I can't go back, I can only use the experience to affect and affirm my actions/reactions from here on out...

I miss you so much, mom - Happy Birthday...

I walked among the Grave Markers,
Near my old home town,
And I saw a number of
Old friends.
John: Killed in world war two,
Buckey, Tooter,
And Teenie.
All were childhood pals.
There was Ann's mother, And
Verna Karhryn's Mother and
father. Uncle Levi, Aunt Sally,
And Mr. Smith. I saw Uncle
Charlie—And so many others
That brought fleeting Memories
of other days.
Then I came to the plot,
That Mama had bought for herself.
Suddenly the world was still,
Except for a bird
That was singing.
Once again I heard
Mama say to me,"Son, when I die.
Take me home!"
I think that they were glad,
That I came and walked among
Their headstones,
And remembered
Each of them,
As they used to be.
I think that they were glad,
That I came all alone,
And did not disturb
The bird
That was singing.

QUOTE: "We're meant to lose the people we love. How else are we supposed to know how important they are?" ~ The Curious Case of Benjamin Button


  1. I knew today was your mom's b-day...she got an early b-day present the year you were born. Look for the signs today (as always). Ginormous hugs coming your way from me today & always, Kate

  2. [hugs] for you and your mom and [high five] for a thirtysomething reference.

  3. Sweet Kate ~

    Thanks for the never-ending hugs - much-needed today. It's all starting to feel so real, you know? - the signs are everywhere and she is very much with me...

  4. Hey, Amy ~

    You are such a sweetie - I do appreciate the love you send my way on a regular basis... <3

    I surely must devote an entire blog post soon... because I just sprung for the Season One DVDs of thirtysomething... and have been staying up ridiculously late on a viewing jag - the clothes are dated, the dialogue overwrought... and I'm in heaven... right back to the late 80's when I myself was a thirtysomething... :-)

  5. Sending big hugs - age brings bittersweet anniversaries

  6. Hey, Catherine ~

    One can never have too many hugs... and what a perfect way to phrase my current situation - I've seen so many people experience the loss of a parent... but it never hits home like it does when it's one's own, right?

  7. Hey, M ~

    Loving hugs are never belated, arriving just when they are most needed - thanks for your as-always perfect timing... <3