Revolution 9 (The Beatles)

Something I read today:

09/09/09: Today is the 252nd day of the year. When added together, those three numbers equal... 9. This is the last time there will be single digits in the month, day and year for the next 1001 years.

You can read about the many significances of the number 9 here...

Today also would have been mom's 79th birthday - she was born in 1930, which always made it easy to do the math and figure out how old she was...

Every day since her passing has been hard... and it whams me over the head at the most obvious of times (seeing a woman with a portable oxygen tank at the grocery store... the thirtysomething episode when Michael realizes his dad is dying... mom's birthday today) - other times it creeps up for no apparent reason... yet the tears, heartache and melancholy are the same...

Immediately after mom's passing, my husband said that it was impossible to imagine Life Without Connie, the matriarch, a larger-than-life figure who kept our family together in the bad times and good - each day that goes by has me questioning... floundering... scrambling to re-find my equilibrium... which will *never* be the same...

Scenes of the last two months of her life play out in my brain and, much as I have touted the "no regrets" philosophy, I do wonder if I could have said, done and thought things differently - then I realize that, since I can't go back, I can only use the experience to affect and affirm my actions/reactions from here on out...

I miss you so much, mom - Happy Birthday...

SONG: Revolution 9 by The Beatles

BOOK: 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life: A Psychologist Learns from His Patients What Really Works and What Doesn't by Dr. Henry Cloud

POEM: After Fifty Years by Gil Broxon

I walked among the Grave Markers,

Near my old home town,

And I saw a number of

Old friends.

John: Killed in world war two,

Buckey, Tooter,

And Teenie.

All were childhood pals.

There was Ann's mother, And

Verna Karhryn's Mother and

father. Uncle Levi, Aunt Sally,

And Mr. Smith. I saw Uncle

Charlie—And so many others

That brought fleeting Memories

of other days.

Then I came to the plot,

That Mama had bought for herself.
Suddenly the world was still,

Except for a bird

That was singing.

Once again I heard

Mama say to me,"Son, when I die.

Take me home!"

I think that they were glad,

That I came and walked among

Their headstones,

And remembered

Each of them,

As they used to be.

I think that they were glad,

That I came all alone,

And did not disturb

The bird

That was singing.

QUOTE: "We're meant to lose the people we love. How else are we supposed to know how important they are?" ~ The Curious Case of Benjamin Button