Thursday, July 16, 2009

No Place Like Om (Troubadours of Divine Bliss)


". . . love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. for those who are near you are far away, you write, and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast. And if what is near you is far away, then your vastness is already among the stars and is very great; be happy about your growth, in which of course you can't take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don't torment them with your doubts and don't frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn't be able to comprehend.

Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn't necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust. . . . Don't ask for any advice from them and don't expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it." ~ Ranier Maria Rilke "Letters to a Young Poet"

I read the above on a grace-full blog (thanks, Shannon)... and had to include in mine - this is exactly how I'm feeling on the cusp of going back home (home!) for two weeks... after having been with my ailing/aging mom for the last two months. I posted the following to Mom's CaringBridge website over the last few days - this now, more later... of course... :-)

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At this point, mom seems to have stabilized enough such that (goddess willing) I'm making plans to go to the Falcon Ridge Folk Festival, a summer staple for me - this will be my 11th year!

I will be away a total of two weeks... flying from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale this Thursday July 16, up to Boston Tuesday July 21 (to meet up with a music friend, whereupon we will drive to the festival in upstate New York), back to Ft. Lauderdale after the festival Monday July 27 and return to Atlanta Thursday July 30.

Mari will be holding down the proverbial fort in my absence - I am beyond grateful. I also know she will need help, breaks and support... on the weekends so she can get out of the house for a few hours... and even during the week as she's working from mom's house and might need someone to sit with mom while Mari's having a particularly busy or phone-centric day. Any offer much appreciated and seriously considered - thanks in advance!

I cannot wait to see my husband, my children, my dog, my friends... and my house (my bed, my jacuzzi... even my kitchen) - it's been entirely too long (two months). It's hard not to feel twinges of guilt and/or selfishness for the getaway - however, I know I *wouldn't* even consider it, much less follow through, if mom wasn't at this plateau... and I know she is in such capable hands with Mari. We've been tag-teaming for the last few months and I am fully confident she is up to the exhausting but rewarding task - Brad is also fully on board to do whatever he can to help and support. It does take a village - we are lucky ours is so loving and far-reaching...

Thanks again to all for continued thoughts/prayers/skyward intentions/purple candles and, most importantly, your love and support - it means much... <3>

SONG: No Place Like Om by Troubadours of Divine Bliss (I can't find the lyrics online so this YouTube video of Over the Rainbow will have to do!)

BOOK:
Talk Before Sleep by Elizabeth Berg

POEM: What I Believe by Michael Blumenthal

I believe there is no justice,
but that cottongrass and bunchberry
grow on the mountain.

I believe that a scorpion's sting
will kill a man,
but that his wife will remarry.

I believe that, the older we get,
the weaker the body,
but the stronger the soul.

I believe that if you roll over at night
in an empty bed,
the air consoles you.

I believe that no one is spared
the darkness,
and no one gets all of it.

I believe we all drown eventually
in a sea of our making,
but that the land belongs to someone else.

I believe in destiny.
And I believe in free will.

I believe that, when all
the clocks break,
time goes on without them.

And I believe that whatever
pulls us under,
will do so gently.

so as not to disturb anyone,
so as not to interfere
with what we believe in.

QUOTE: "It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between." ~ Diane Ackerman

2 comments:

  1. Susan, enjoy your long-overdue and well-deserved break! Remember the adage about filling your own well, that goes for caretaking of parents as well as children. xoxoxo

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  2. Hey, M ~

    I have (already), I will... and I'll continue (oh my!) - I had an ongoing mantra last night (my town... my street... my house.... my husband... my son... my dog... my kitchen... my jacuzzi... my bed)...

    I promise to fill my well to overflowing these next two weeks - it will be a fun and rewarding challenge to meet... <3

    In the meantime, back to bed - aaaahhhh!

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